Your kid says she wants to quit pitching.....

[HasBeenorNeverWas]

I am about to bore you here. I grew up in a small town that was a part of a bigger metro area. Even back then, we traveled on the weekends and had our own little league. I was the top pitcher in my town and often threw "up" with the older team. To add to this, I had a coach who cheated and threw me almost every league game. Since we played our league at 3 venues, no other team could keep up with which pitchers pitched when in the league. My mom and dad didn't know better and were almost always at work. By the time I reached the equivalent of 14U, I felt so much pressure from all of the coaches and teammates. I never had a sore arm and I could pitch and pitch. It was the mental game, as mentioned previously in this thread, that I lost control of. It got to the point that my mom would carry Pepto Bismo for me to drink before I pitched. In high school, the HC asked me if I pitched. He knew that I did but I didn't put that down for one of my positions. I told him no. I say all of this because I consider myself mentally very strong and yet, I broke down. I didn't pitch after my 15-year-old season. My dad told the coaches I was done pitching.

Do you regret it? There is a lot more opportunities for people who are going through mental stress or burnout now, I'd feel so bad just letting her give up without at least trying to help her fight through it.

 

[Cannonball]

Do you regret it? There is a lot more opportunities for people who are going through mental stress or burnout now, I'd feel so bad just letting her give up without at least trying to help her fight through it.

No I don't regret it. I had a great time playing and earned all kinds of awards in HS. I had a little interest from pro teams and was one of a few invited to a huge tryout in St. Louis. I did well there. Still, life happens and I had to go to work. I played SS and OF when I didn't pitch and was able to lock in at SS when I stopped pitching. For me, it seemed that no matter how good I was, there was always another higher level expected of me. No one could meet those demands. That is why when I coached my dd, I never pushed her. To this day I will not talk to certain coaches I had growing up. The things I was called if I lost have caused me to really dislike them. I did run into a great coach in HS and after my 15-year-old summer season. The guy who coached me that summer and after that summer drove me to all of the pro camps I was invited to.

To be honest, you and your dd have to have an honest sit-down talk. What you want really is secondary to what she wants since the end result is that she could just quit playing. I absolutely loved my HS season playing a position and hitting.

 

[kibadbo]

My response is "then don't pitch." Her potential is irrelevant, and the sunk cost is literally a decision making fallacy. If she never touches a softball again, she can still live a completely happy and healthy life. So let her quit if that's what she wants. Being a teenager is stressful enough. Let her try all the things she's currently sacrificing for pitching. If she ends up missing it, she can go back.

 

[Dabears17]

My DD told me after first year 14u fall ball I had a choice. She quit pitching or she quit softball.

 

[Hillhouse]

I often feel like a broken record because I have the same response to post like this, and ones where my standard answer applies. SPORTS PSYCHOLOGY. The difficulty of the stress that comes with pitching isn't uncommon. And that's exactly what this service does.

I recommend everyone try to get Sports psych as early as possible. If you live near a university see if they offer sports psych, if so, contact the professor(s) and see if they can use your team (or even an individual) for his students. Perhaps this can be part of their thesis? Perhaps they will come work with the individual (or team) as part of their education. I cannot stress enough how much this can make a difference in a young athlete's life.

If you're not near a university that has this program, look up YouTube videos. Ted talks. There is sure to be something out there. And it may take a few different videos before she finds the right tools needed to deal with her particular issue. Then it will take time before she learns to apply the strategy for herself.

There's a lot of reasons people give up pitching, no doubt about it. But if it's truly about the stress then there might be tools at your disposal to help. Of course, I don't know if you have the resources for this. The sports psych that I work with (sending my pitchers to) takes insurance. But if you have the student option as I mentioned above, that can be a win-win for multiple people.

 

[HasBeenorNeverWas]

I often feel like a broken record because I have the same response to post like this, and ones where my standard answer applies. SPORTS PSYCHOLOGY. The difficulty of the stress that comes with pitching isn't uncommon. And that's exactly what this service does.

I recommend everyone try to get Sports psych as early as possible. If you live near a university see if they offer sports psych, if so, contact the professor(s) and see if they can use your team (or even an individual) for his students. Perhaps this can be part of their thesis? Perhaps they will come work with the individual (or team) as part of their education. I cannot stress enough how much this can make a difference in a young athlete's life.

If you're not near a university that has this program, look up YouTube videos. Ted talks. There is sure to be something out there. And it may take a few different videos before she finds the right tools needed to deal with her particular issue. Then it will take time before she learns to apply the strategy for herself.

There's a lot of reasons people give up pitching, no doubt about it. But if it's truly about the stress then there might be tools at your disposal to help. Of course, I don't know if you have the resources for this. The sports psych that I work with (sending my pitchers to) takes insurance. But if you have the student option as I mentioned above, that can be a win-win for multiple people.

I'll definitely look into this. I have signed her up with a mentor, hoping that goes well.

 

[GIMNEPIWO]

What's your response? Potential is limitless...throws hard and has lots of movement. Struggle is real though as has always delt with some performance anxiety. Torn between "its your life" and "you're doing it because we've invested so much time and effort."

Edited: She loves to pitch but it's been such a struggle that she just wants to give up because it's causes so much stress for her

On all my 5 daughters 5th birthdays, I gave them all a card that said "Daddy loves you so much; you have 13 years to find a place to live" ... In hindsight, the card should have read "Daddy loves you so much; you have 7 years to find a place to live and you can come back in 13 years" ... LOL ... 12-14 are some tough years for them, 15 through 17 aren't much easier ... Softball was one of the links we had that I believe helped us to stay close ... It's always a crapshoot with something like this ... If she otherwise is pretty consistent with her feelings, I would be on the side of "it's your life" rather than guilting her into it ... I know that's not your intention but that may be how it is perceived ... One of my DD's had hit a point where she didn't want to throw, but she always wanted to "have a catch" ... Go figure.

Let's say you had no additional money for lessons involved ... If your DD had been playing 2nd base and she said she wanted to move to outfield, what would you tell her ?

Also, I know it's different, but one of my DD's had always played at F2, but when she got to college she had to move to F3 if she wanted to see any playing time ... As much as we would like to know, we just don't know what their journey is, but it ain't ours.

 

[HunterMO]

DD quit pitching after 5-years of throwing. I could see it coming during her second year of 12u, so when we finally had the conversation late in her first year 14u TB season it wasn't surprising. While she was a good pitcher, she never wanted to put the work in to take the next step. The glass half full is that the time she spent working on pitching, she put into her overall defense. Finding a real passion to excel at 3B.

Pitching is now something she does for "fun" at the end of a hitting session or team practice. "I want to see if I still have it". 10 minutes later, she's good to go home with a smile on her face.

 

[Dabears17]

DD quit pitching after 5-years of throwing. I could see it coming during her second year of 12u, so when we finally had the conversation late in her first year 14u TB season it wasn't surprising. While she was a good pitcher, she never wanted to put the work in to take the next step. The glass half full is that the time she spent working on pitching, she put into her overall defense. Finding a real passion to excel at 3B.

Pitching is now something she does for "fun" at the end of a hitting session or team practice. "I want to see if I still have it". 10 minutes later, she's good to go home with a smile on her face.

My daughter is similar. She enjoys throwing batting practice at times and about once a year gets to pitch an inning or two in a game.

 

[_MIA_]

I quit playing alltogether in college. I was miserable...it was no way to live.The only thing you need to tell her is that you will support whatever she wants to do but to take a week or two to think about it before making any decisions and that you are there to help with
whatever she thinks she needs help with should she decide to continue.