Target on DD's back

[wild man]

Sadly this kind of thing happens all the time. What most of these poor uninformed "freinds" of yours dont realize is their kids can work hard and get better also, They just choose to try and bring your DD down instead. Also as your DD gets older the talent she plays against will even out. They may or may not surpass her but will most likeley at least catch up.

We had a dominating pitcher in our league some years back and after two no hitters against her we took way more BP and ended up beating her in 9 innings 5-6. Weather its TB orLL The opposing players and parents need to realize they can only get to her level by practice.
If you could find a league with a team that got 7-10 hits a game off of her then she would have to get better. It works both ways.
These kind of parents just dont get that this is a game of hard work and practice. Those who dont wont get better.Ignore them and have your DD bear down even harder. I personally like to play against good compitition it makes for better everything.

 

[starsnuffer]

It's pretty common, unfortunately.

The best thing you can do is make sure your daughter is being challenged. If she's dominating so much in her current league/agegroup, it's a good idea to move her up an age-group or to a more competitive league like ASA "A" level ball and away from little league.

-W

 

[SoftSocDad]

Have any of you had this experience?

My DD, through a lot of hard work and dedication, has become one of the best 12U pitchers in our area as an 11yo. She routinely throws no-hitters; shutouts. She is also one of the area's best hitters for this 12u age group in both LL and travel. My DD, wife and I try to be low key about it. We don't brag, (except anonymously on a forum) or even get too excited during games. Honestly, we don't have to brag. She is successful on her own and everyone knows it.

What we've been noticing though now... is that I feel like parents of players (that are not on my DD's LL or travel team) that we used to be friendly with before our DD emerged as a top talent in our area hate us now and pray for my DD's failure. If anyone gets a hit or even just puts the ball in play they get super excited and overly celebrate. I sometimes want to tell my DD just to put a fastball between their DD's shoulders next time the parents celebrate like that. I haven't. But I'd be lying if I said it didn't cross my mind.

Basically there's a target on her back. I think she senses it mostly in LL. It started last season... but she's gotten a lot better since last season so its much worse now. The other night after probably her 5th no-hit shutout this season and a triple and HR at the plate she told me she didn't want to play LL anymore. It wasn't enjoyable. One of her good friends was the opposing pitcher and she didn't enjoy beating her for the 3rd time this year. The coaches and parents on the other teams (who we used to be friendly with 1-2 years ago) in LL are so vocal about "beating" her that it's become uncomfortable and it's a lot of unnecessary pressure on her for something that's supposed to be recreational. Our LL is pretty competitive and everyone wants to win (except me; I truly don't care what happens in LL). Except the other teams don't win (or haven't won yet) when my DD's in the circle. We have other travel players in that league and with that a bunch of crazy parents that we used to be friendly with. I should add that their kids tried out and didn't make my DD's travel team (which is one of the more competitive ones in our region).

I'm not sure I know what I'm asking for here. It's just been bugging me. Knowing people who you thought were friendly with before are rooting for your daughters failure and have distanced themselves from you now that your kid has surpassed their kid in level of softball play. I guess I just wanted to vent a little and see if anyone has any insight or advice or experienced anything like this. I know its jealousy of some sort... and they aren't worth my time... but I guess when it comes to DD... well... you know... we all can become a little crazy.

Living in a fairly small town, too, I know exactly what you're talking about. Even though you want to be the bigger person and certainly do not wish to be bothered by anyone else's petty jealousies, it's hard not to take it personally.

But thinking or wishing your kid would hurt their kids just to get back at the parents for boorish behavior is never warranted. I know how mad you are at the parents, because you're human, but wanting to hurt their kids because of it isn't cool. Don't be that guy. Don't ever become that guy.

At 11, your DD has outgrown 12u rec ball as a pitcher. If she wants to play another year of rec just to be with friends, don't let her pitch. As Sparky said, she's bored with LL, because the games are too easy for her, but maybe there would be more of a challenge with her catching for a beginning pitcher. Or maybe you avoid all the drama by ending her LL career for her if you aren't able to move her up to 14u and then just stick with TB.

My wife and I never brag about our DD. We don't have to. Her skills speak for themselves and she's the sweetest kid on the field. Yet you have those parents, even some coaches, who are obsessed with their kid being the darling of the age group. We went ahead and moved her up a year early to get away from all that crap. And this was going on when she was only 7!

We cheer all the kids and encourage them when we see them struggling. I don't get why some people think there's so much at stake in rec softball. Once you go full-time TB, you should be seeing a lot less of this around you.

 

[fastpitch]

I think I'm getting over it. I suppose I was just disappointed in the way parents I expected more from were acting toward my DD and wanted to rant. Thanks for the responses. Next year those girls who's parents are nuts are all moving up to 14. I guess I could move my DD up an age group to 14 just to strike them out some more.

 

[Coach JV]

Parents are only your friends when their dd is on the same team as
yours. Yes, there is a target on her back, this target is composed of envy and
jealousy. Those of us who are parents of pitchers have all seen it and it can be ugly.
Ignore the tunnel vision and support your daughter and her team

 

[dbias]

I think I'm getting over it. I suppose I was just disappointed in the way parents I expected more from were acting toward my DD and wanted to rant. Thanks for the responses. Next year those girls who's parents are nuts are all moving up to 14. I guess I could move my DD up an age group to 14 just to strike them out some more.

14u HS and 16u is where a lot of dominant 12u pitchers get a wake up call. 43 feet, and a combination of weaker players dropping out and batters coming into their own will level the playing field quite a bit. I know this as my DD who is now 14 has experienced the same thing. The sixteen plus strikeouts and perfect games in tb are over... lol. Enjoy it while it lasts. In the next few years the fastball will dissapear and she will then begin to have to "pitch".

 

[sluggers]

I'm not as sympathetic about this as everyone else is.

Your DD is by far the best player in the league. She isn't improving playing this level of competition. She told you it isn't fun anymore. Your DD and you agree that she is getting *NOTHING* out of playing LL.

Why should she play?

Except for the SoCal rec leagues, all TB parents pull their kids from the local rec league. It isn't fair to the other kids in the league, and it isn't fair to your DD.

If you want to have your DD challenged, find a good "A" level TB team to play on. If 12U isn't challenging enough, move her up to 14U.

 

[Carty]

fastpitch, in our small town if you play tb you cannot play rec. Our DD#3 wanted to go to tb after her 10U season. So she simply dissappeared from the softball ranks. I think that realy helped - people saw her practice pitching at the local fields but never really had a chance to compare. Fast foward to freshman year. She spent two games on freshman team and moved to varsity as a dp. We had three good pitchers on varsity so she got her pitching time bouncing to jv. I think it was difficult to put that target in her back since there was a fairly wide difference in her level of play compared to her age group. She fit right in on the varsity team where there were many tb players. She is a very positive teammate also. I think we learned this with DD#1 & #2 after living the same problems you have. If she likes the challenge, just go to tb only, hopefully some of the poor parent issues will go away. When they see her again, maybe they will appreciate having such a strong player on their team.

 

[stephanie]

Well, I know several girls who have ended up playing on different teams than my daughter. One way I have found to keep the parents from getting catty to my daughter or each other is to go and sit with them for the first inning or so. That way, it is a gentle reminder that when all is said and done, we are still friends and it is just a game. Plus, people have a hard time getting ugly about a girl when her mom is sitting right behind them....

 

[Momo'sDad]

Why should she play?

Except for the SoCal rec leagues, all TB parents pull their kids from the local rec league. It isn't fair to the other kids in the league, and it isn't fair to your DD.

In NorCal, in order to be on the league's 'B' travel team, you have to be registered for the spring season. Many of the families in our community cannot afford full-time TB. By going with the league team, the costs are a lot less, because things like field rental and insurance are already covered, and the girls still get a more competitive softball experience without having high monthly fees.

Sure, some girls are really dominant players, but the majority are just really good, better than average, but by no means dominant. Keeping those girls in your rec league helps improve the quality of play overall, as weaker rec players are encouraged to get better.