Target on DD's back

[Country Boy]

I'm not as sympathetic about this as everyone else is.

Your DD is by far the best player in the league. She isn't improving playing this level of competition. She told you it isn't fun anymore. Your DD and you agree that she is getting *NOTHING* out of playing LL.

Why should she play?

Except for the SoCal rec leagues, all TB parents pull their kids from the local rec league. It isn't fair to the other kids in the league, and it isn't fair to your DD.

If you want to have your DD challenged, find a good "A" level TB team to play on. If 12U isn't challenging enough, move her up to 14U.

Hate to agree completely with Sluggers, but if she is really this good, the only thing you are accomplishing by her playing rec is feeding your family's egos at the expense of other girls. Of course there is going to be some resentment as the other parents can plainly see your daughter doesn't belong. They think you have your dd there to rub their dd's noses in the sand. So would I.

 

[BrianMonk]

I didn't have the exact situation as you as my daughter wasn't a pitcher and not that dominant, but I both witnessed and read about similar situations to yours.

Due to my daughter not quite being wanted locally on the travel team and me not really wanting to be involved locally (you know why), I took her to an organization a little over an hour away to try out. That was as a 9U. It went very well. She's now in her 4th year and both the team and her skills have improved greatly. Enough so her team is playing in the Hall of Fame Qualifier in OKC early next month just after the WCWS ends. I hope we are at least competitive.

We basically have 2 lifestyles. One locally where virtually no travel softball is discussed(only rec. league where another daughter plays). I don't have car window sticker of her team (as all other families do), I rarely wear any team apparel around town, etc....Then the travel softball team where it's softball, softball, softball play and talk all the time.

It works very well for us and something to think about.

 

[Dusty]

What we've been noticing though now... is that I feel like parents of players (that are not on my DD's LL or travel team) that we used to be friendly with before our DD emerged as a top talent in our area hate us now and pray for my DD's failure. If anyone gets a hit or even just puts the ball in play they get super excited and overly celebrate. I sometimes want to tell my DD just to put a fastball between their DD's shoulders next time the parents celebrate like that. I haven't. But I'd be lying if I said it didn't cross my mind.

I've highlighted the most egregious comments in your OP to suggest that the problem may not lie with others at all. People pray for family and loved ones who are going through difficult times or illness, not for the failure of your dd at softball.

 

[CoachKevin]

Dusty, have you been around softball for very long? The Drama is crazy, even in TB when players go to other teams... geez some of the parents.

I have always told my players, if you want to play at a higher level I encourage you to do so. I don't want you to leave but I will understand. There have been a couple players leave to play at a higher level and I had to actually tell other parents to calm down because the players are trying to improve.

 

[Dusty]

Dusty, have you been around softball for very long? The Drama is crazy, even in TB when players go to other teams... geez some of the parents.

I have always told my players, if you want to play at a higher level I encourage you to do so. I don't want you to leave but I will understand. There have been a couple players leave to play at a higher level and I had to actually tell other parents to calm down because the players are trying to improve.

I've had two dd's in travel for 2 years and rec the previous five. I'm certainly aware of the drama that comes with it but I always try to distance myself and my dd's from it as much as possible and I'm not sympathetic to those who create it. Look, I'm not trying to flame out the OP but I'd suggest a lot of self reflection may be in order here.

For the record, my dd was a dominant 10u rec league pitcher and although we didn't encounter any overt haters there probably were a few out there. My dd is still pitching and doing well in travel but she's been humbled on numerous occassions which I think has made her a better ball player and person.

 

[CoachKevin]

This is just plain sad. Heck even as a coach at 3rd, if the opposing team makes a great play, or the pitcher makes a great pitch I tell them or go over and give them a high five. Been coaching ASA for 7 years now, and to this day I still do it. Of course if it's the pitcher I usually say hey, great pitch but please don't do that again. It typically gets a laugh.

 

[Lozza]

if it breathes you can kill it!"

That is the point your coach should have stopped the game. That is unnacceptable. I would be placing a formal complaint about tuis team with as many statements from parents on your team as possible.

 

[knightsb]

Just an update. DD pitched and her team won again last night. DD pitched a one hit (bunt) shutout. Three errors let some runners on base and the other teams parents were so excited you'd think it was the world series. They still lost. On the drive home she was in tears because of how the other teams players/parents were acting. It's hard to describe really... they were just classless trying to get into her head. Howling and saying stuff like... "she's not a machine!"; "if it breathes you can kill it!" I sometimes just can't believe the things that can come out of some parents mouths during a game.

DD still has some ways to go mentally and has to learn to block those things out but if you are a parent reading this and might be guilty of this at some point just rethink what you say to your kids. At the end of the day it's only a game being played by kids.

Fortunately we have not experienced an opponent who behaves like that. Every time I practice with my DD I describe situations that might arise like name calling and things that might happen and how to try an block it out, but I am sure it is still hard. We have told our girls and parents that you can cheer for our team all you want, but absolutely nothing negative or derogatory directed at any player on either team.

 

[Sparky Guy]

This is just plain sad. Heck even as a coach at 3rd, if the opposing team makes a great play, or the pitcher makes a great pitch I tell them or go over and give them a high five. Been coaching ASA for 7 years now, and to this day I still do it. Of course if it's the pitcher I usually say hey, great pitch but please don't do that again. It typically gets a laugh.

I had a situation like that one time. During the week I had been working with my 3rd basemen on how to execute a good fake throw to 1st on a bunt trying to draw a runner off of the base. They could not grasp the concept of "Selling" the fake.

The following weekend we're on offense with a runner on 3rd. Batter puts down a good bunt. Opposing team 3rd base comes in and does a beautiful fake throw to first. She fooled the runner and myself, it was that good. She had my runner dead. Once the play was over I called out to the girl from the dugout and said " Hey #7.. Thank you.. Thank you very much for showing my team how to do that correctly. That was a great play. I'm going to have to send my player back out for her shoe laces because you faked her out of them." It got a laugh from the fielder and all of my kids in the dugout.

 

[ctfastpitch]

Just an update. DD pitched and her team won again last night. DD pitched a one hit (bunt) shutout. Three errors let some runners on base and the other teams parents were so excited you'd think it was the world series. They still lost. On the drive home she was in tears because of how the other teams players/parents were acting. It's hard to describe really... they were just classless trying to get into her head. Howling and saying stuff like... "she's not a machine!"; "if it breathes you can kill it!" I sometimes just can't believe the things that can come out of some parents mouths during a game.

DD still has some ways to go mentally and has to learn to block those things out but if you are a parent reading this and might be guilty of this at some point just rethink what you say to your kids. At the end of the day it's only a game being played by kids.

It would be great if she could learn to block it out...but really, these are just young kids!! It's one thing to learn to block out trash talk from the other kids. It's entirely something else to have to deal with that from adults. That's asking an awful lot from a 11 year old.

Someone really needs to call these idiots out and embarass the hell out of them in front of everyone else as soon as they say something like that! If it was me, and I heard someone say something like that (to any kid), I would start out by asking them (very loudly) something like "DID YOU REALLY JUST YELL THAT AT A 11 YEAR OLD KID???" The ask them how they would like it if you started trashing their kid every time the came up to bat. Shame 'em once and I'll bet that shuts them up for a while.