Sex Offender Spectator

[JJsqueeze]

None specifically coachBob, just a general comment that there are some dicey areas and dicey parents out there. Add to the fact that some of the parks have transients milling about and you get a situation where it is not exactly Disneyland and kids need to be watched closely as they do in all situations.

Also, statistically, extended family members, family friends, coaches, teachers and others in a position of authority or someone familiar are FAR more likely to pose a danger to a kid than a stranger or say the brother of a teammate. Also sexual assault is under reported so my fear is mostly of what I don't know about the people my kids come into contact with at school etc. more than of strangers or a teammates brother. With the brother of the teammate I simply point him out and tell my kids he is a convicted rapist and to not talk or go near him and I watch him closely.

Sad to say, but if you just talk statistics then all of our daughters have been on at least one team, or in a girl scout troop etc where the father of a kid was a rapist or child molester but has simply not been caught so I am leery of any situation where one of my girls is alone for a minute with a male over the age of 12.

Call me paranoid, but I'd rather be safe than sorry and when I can see a threat I am less concerned than when I can't because I have control of the situation. So I would be less concerned about my girls being at a game in this situation then I am say when they have a sleepover at a friend's house.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Wow. What a problem. But, for this very reason, is why teams don't just let anyone help at practice. People might want to help, but unless you background check everyone (and then, you still can't be certain) you just never know.

 

[coachbob]

JJ, I agree with you; I don't much like sleepovers where there are older brothers around. My DD's have a fair number of sleepovers, but it's almost always with two or three team members. One of the great things about this socal TB insanity is that we get to be with our kids so much.

 

[slingnit]

I think the shark you see is less dangerous than the shark you don't. I guarantee that your team has been around plenty of dangerous sex offenders at games. Many friendlies in SoCal look like they are sponsored by prisons if you were to judge by the spectators.

100% agree!!! This hit the news a few days ago. Second degree rape in OK is consensual sex with minor 14 & over but under 16(the age of consent). That is my youngest dd's age and I'm sure the age of some of your kids. I think suicide was a great choice, sad to say.

It really sucks to have to be so cautious of every single person your kid comes in contact with but that is the world we live in. What makes it worse is when that person is one that is supposed to be trusted with your kids well being. These are your sharks you can not see: teachers, neighbors, good friends, family! Not just that strange tatted up guy with no kids watching games. Hell, he may just be a fan. Would think a predator would try drawing as little attention as possible.

Sapulpa softball coach charged with rape found dead | News OK

 

[Jojo]

100% agree!!! This hit the news a few days ago. Second degree rape in OK is consensual sex with minor 14 & over but under 16(the age of consent). That is my youngest dd's age and I'm sure the age of some of your kids. I think suicide was a great choice, sad to say.

It really sucks to have to be so cautious of every single person your kid comes in contact with but that is the world we live in. What makes it worse is when that person is one that is supposed to be trusted with your kids well being. These are your sharks you can not see: teachers, neighbors, good friends, family! Not just that strange tatted up guy with no kids watching games. Hell, he may just be a fan. Would think a predator would try drawing as little attention as possible.

Sapulpa softball coach charged with rape found dead | News OK

That is really sad for the player. She must be going through so many confusing emotions. Stuff like this is why you want to protect them so badly.

 

[bucket pinata]

If you spend time with your kid, give them self confidence and a stable family structure you have protected your child from 99% of all child Molesters, the other one percent a snatch/grab types and your kids are more likely to be hit by lightning. When they pick a potential victim they don't just anybody, Just like all predators they pick the weak members of the heard. They are not interested in getting caught. They find the child that gets no love at home, has been told or treated like they have no Value, These kids are willing to do ANYTHING to have a actual adult make them feel wanted. Take a random group of kids in any school or sport and put them in an organized setting, quickly you can spot the introverts, the ones that cant socialize, have issues at home, they are the ones in the back, not talking not smiling ,giving off the vibe they are very much alone. Those are the vulnerable ones.That's why the vast majority never get reported. They have nobody to trust. So if you want to keep your kids Molester proof, make sure they know how much they mean to you, make sure they have piles of self worth and respect for life. Trust me, the scum bags wont want anything to do with them.

 

[Me_and_my_big_mouth]

I think the shark you see is less dangerous than the shark you don't. I guarantee that your team has been around plenty of dangerous sex offenders at games. Many friendlies in SoCal look like they are sponsored by prisons if you were to judge by the spectators.

I think the real thing to guard against is the tumult this can cause within the team. I would respectfully talk to the mom and let her know that while his debt will have been paid, being convicted of rape is something that he will have to live with forever and one of the things that is perfectly natural is for people to not want the guy convicted of rape hanging out with a girls softball team, so while you understand the family's desire to allow him to support his sister, you would really appreciate it if he kept a nice distance (watch from the fence in the outfield), not go on any away tournaments and show respect for the other parent's desire to keep their daughters safe and not have to feel on edge because of the presence of someone convicted of rape in the stands or close proximity to the team.

Begrudgingly, the non-lunatic, rational smart person in me agrees with this ^^^^^^^^
It's probably the best answer so far, although the inner crazy parent in me is screaming HECK NO NOT AROUND MY KID. The lunatic, irrational, psycho in me says, "Mention his name to a couple of BIG dads on the team. The problem will take care of itself."

Not knowing the circumstances and the details of his conviction is also a tough one - and also agree that sex offenders hanging out at our parks and practice fields are probably way more common than we really even want to know. Unfortunately, once you DO know, you can't un-know - and therefore it will always be awkward, and even potentially dangerous.

I don't envy you your position. Tough one.

 

[Jquick823]

Talk with the parents of the team. You have a duty to protect those kids. Everyone needs to be made aware and they can make their own decision.

 

[riseball]

Talk with the parents of the team. You have a duty to protect those kids. Everyone needs to be made aware and they can make their own decision.

Following that out to its logical conclusion, how do you see this playing out?

 

[Jquick823]

Following that out to its logical conclusion, how do you see this playing out?

Option 1: Say nothing, people will find out anyway and when they learn you knew you lose your team and reputation in the local community.

Option 2: Ask the parent that came to you with the news to please keep this family member away from other players and practices. Possibly effective but I think you lose a player

Option 3: Talk with all the parents and let them know the full situation. Receive feedback and make a decision or let them make a decision. Probably lose several players.

My answers are based on what I morally believe to be the right thing to do. I try not to read into posts much as I understand it's impossible to understand the exact situation. But as coaches I believe its our job to protect our players.

So I would talk with all the parents and let them know there is a possibility this individual will be around your players and that it is legal for him to do so. (If it's illegal that's different, but it's based on state law). It's up to the parents to then determine if they are ok with that or not because if he's attending legally then there's not much else I can do except make people aware.