Daddy Ball

[FastPitchCat]

The best way to fight "daddy ball" is to get off your butt and manage a team yourself if you think your kid is getting unfair treatment.

from what i've heard, DD's current team did just that. they were treated unfairly by their former team and so they formed their own team. now they're doing the same thing. ironic isn't it?

 

[cuzmail]

The best way to fight "daddy ball" is to get off your butt and manage a team yourself if you think your kid is getting unfair treatment.

and now you have two teams playing Daddy ball.

 

[LeftiesDad]

The best advice I have seen regarding this is "If the coach has a dd on the team make sure she is the best in that position and she doesn't play the same position as your DD" The daddy coaches are volunteers and generally started the team for their DDs to be able to play the position they want (or the daddy wants them to play, not always the same).

The worst "daddy ball" experience DD has ever had was actually going into HS. The favoritism given to upper-class students is shocking. One would think the coach would build the team to win, what really happens is the Jr's and Sr's are entitled and given positions, while better players sit on the bench. Half the Sr's don't even play summer or fall ball because they have no intention of playing in college.

 

[YoungBuck]

Tell her to out work the coach's kid. The cream will rise to the top.

Couldn't agree more!

I have found I'm much harder on my daughter when I'm her coach. Quicker to pull her out of the game than another kid. That being said I think she'll flourish now that dad is in the stands!

 

[canyonjoe]

You have 3 options.

1. Stay on daddy's team. These guys put in countless hours of work and not only don't get paid, but pay to play just like you do. Most are great guys who do the best they can. If it's close in ability tie will go to them.
2. Start your own team.
3. Find a team that doesn't have parent coaches. It will cost you more money.

 

[About Them]

When dad/coach elevates a significantly weaker player over another for any reason (except heart/dedication/attitude), it is time to move on. When we decided to move my DD to another team (after she was asked to join), we went in with a list of questions. One of those questions was, "If my daughter outplays your daughter (both pitchers), who would you start in a championship game?". We asked about daddy ball as well. We also "scouted" the team last year just to watch interaction between coaches and their daughters.

Without dads as coaches who would be running these teams.? It's a difficult task and I thank all of you that do it (with the exception of DD's coach last year and the coach @ 10u who put my daughter into pitch (#2) after we were down 16-0 in the world series and the other 3 coaches daughters #1,#3 and #4 pitchers had already gotten us destroyed). I'm not bitter...really...well maybe a little.

 

[Rocketech1]

and now you have two teams playing Daddy ball.

It doesn't have to be that way. I don't think coaching is as easy as parents think, especially those parents that have never coached. IME, most for the complaints about "daddy ball' are unfounded because the parents cannot be objective as they see their DD through rose-colored glasses and their own frame of reference. The reason you see most of the coaches DDs playing the "key" positions is they are the same ones who have been working very hard on their game, "behind the scenes" for years. They are the first ones at practice and last ones to leave, and are required to attend all "optional" practices, etc.

Here is an example in PONY baseball. 8YO DS wants to play catcher this season. Coaches DD also plays catcher and another teammate, DS is #3. We have kid pitch for two innings, than coach pitch The first few scrimmages #1 and #2 catchers caught both games. DS played outfield, no time at catcher position. So I told my DS that if wants to get playing time at catcher, he has to practice a lot! I bought him catching equipment and a catchers glove, and we have been practicing several times a week in the backyard and during pregame warme-ups. He is improving and the coach has recognized this and has given him 2 or 3 innings at catcher these past few weekends. The added benefit for DS is he is getting valuable "practice" catching and throwing the ball back to the pitcher. I could have complained that the coach was playing daddy ball by having his son play "my kids position" but instead, DS and I worked hard at helping him improve his catching skills. Someone said you have a choice, "You can get bitter, or you can get better". There is a lot of wisdom in that statement....

 

[obbay]

I agree- Find another team.
Another facet of daddyball is the friends of dd getting preferential treatment as well.

When my kids have been victim to daddyball, in the worst cases there was no alternative. With DD #1 it was LL all-stars. With DD#2 it was travel basketball. In the latter case, she just finished the 4th and final season and it would've been the perfect team for her if I had wanted to make her give up on basketball.At least in the last game she got to play, she showed everyone what she could do. she scored the 3rd highest for the team for the season before the girls stopped passing to her. The coaches had to play her because one player was injured and 2 were on vacation. The AC on the other team couldn't believe she was not a starter because she played circles around everyone. I hear HS is just as bad- skill is not as important as popularity.

 

[FastPitchCat]

It doesn't have to be that way. I don't think coaching is as easy as parents think, especially those parents that have never coached. IME, most for the complaints about "daddy ball' are unfounded because the parents cannot be objective as they see their DD through rose-colored glasses and their own frame of reference. The reason you see most of the coaches DDs playing the "key" positions is they are the same ones who have been working very hard on their game, "behind the scenes" for years. They are the first ones at practice and last ones to leave, and are required to attend all "optional" practices, etc.

"You can get bitter, or you can get better". There is a lot of wisdom in that statement....

Rose colored glasses? where do you buy those things?
so what do you say when DD's HC who admitted to one person (not the entire team) that his DD is 1/2 a pitcher and that my DD works harder than his own? still rose colored? i think not.

kudos to those parents who volunteer as coaches with their time and effort. however as coaches, they also have their own list of rules that they have to abide by, just like the parents.

one of them is to remember to be FAIR to all the players in the team. if the team was built for the coach's DD's only, then go ahead and play ball with 3 or 4, which obviously will not work cause you need the other 5 or 6 players to complete the "TEAM". yes, some will sit on the bench, but give them the equal opportunity by rotating them. too hard to be "FAIR"?

hmmm... now that's interesting. DD's team had rules of conduct for parents, but i never read any rules for the coaches.

 

[Rocketech1]

One of them is to remember to be FAIR to all the players in the team. if the team was built for the coach's DD's only, then go ahead and play ball with 3 or 4, which obviously will not work cause you need the other 5 or 6 players to complete the "TEAM". yes, some will sit on the bench, but give them the equal opportunity by rotating them. too hard to be "FAIR"?

I'm not sure what you mean by being "fair"? Is it fair to the team to give exact equal playing time to all the players and have every single player bat in every position in the line-up no matter what? A kid that never pitched, is it fair to the team to put her in the circle to the detriment of the teams ability to be competitive.

I think there is a balance between giving the individual player opportunities and giving the team an opportunity to play at a competitive level.

Again, I have seen some blatant daddy ball and its a shame that it sometimes happens but I look at the teams that my DD has been associated with and many times the coaches have it right. The kids in the key positions have worked hard to play those positions and are the more skilled players. Is it "fair" to these players to give equal playing time to kids that miss practices and don't put in the effort to be skilled at their desired position?