Daddy Ball

[guero_gordo]

First time(first TB experience) we finished the season and moved on, everyone else did as well and the team imploded.
The last time, we had her finish the first tournament(when it became obvious to us), packed all their cr@p in a box, and shipped it to the facility Monday morning, medal included.

 

[YOCOACH]

First time(first TB experience) we finished the season and moved on, everyone else did as well and the team imploded.

I fear our TB team is going to go that route as well after this season.

 

[JJsqueeze]

we left our first team after two weeks because of rampant daddy ball and hideous coaching. Joined another, better team and are very happy. I was reluctant to pull the plug since it was her first team and I thought I might be misreading the situation and her skills, but I went with my gut and was right. On the new team she still is a middle of the pack player but everything makes sense now, the girl playing her preferred IF position is BETTER, the no #1 pitcher is BETTER, the girls ahead of her in the lineup are BETTER. That is all I care about. DD is in the same relative position as before, backup pitcher, backup 1st, starting OF, bottom third of lineup, but now it is because the girls ahead of her are better than her so I am fine with it. I was absolutely not fine with watching coaches daughters get more circle time, bat higher etc when they did not perform as well. Go with your gut and don't look back. The bonus is that now the team actually competes and wins so that is fun.

 

[FastPitchCat]

I heard a DJ on the radio this AM as I drove to work, talking to a caller about a problem. He gave the following analogy ..
"If you were in the middle of the road and you saw a bus coming, would you stay there and let it run you over, or would you jump out of the way?" No offense FPC, but it seems to me that you stayed in the road.

I did stay on the road, but the bus made promises to swerve

This is the second year for your DD on a team where, by your own observation, she is clearly the better pitcher but does not get mound time. If the stats support that fact (and you get 3 DFP demerits if you are a pitching parent and not tracking your DD stats BTW), what would make you think that the coach would change? Maybe you left your DD there because she was not ready to be a #1- but if your DD is to develop as a pitcher- she needs to pitch, and not just to come in and mop up someone else's mess.

I agree she doesn't have to mop up someone else' mess but that's most of the opportunities given to her. We stayed because HC made promises of change for this very early new season. Maybe I'm a sucker for promises. even darth vader had some good left in him "You were right luke, there is some good left in me"

I have had good experiences with a parent coach and bad experience with non-parent coach. Best experience is someone who is tracking performance, makes expectations known and is even handed when expectations are not met. This can be a parent or not- but as your DD's parent- it is YOUR job to do the homework to find out what the coach's style is, and make sure you are clear on how decisions are made by the coach on the team- It is clear that this coach is not meeting their commitment to you (or you didn't ask?).

performance was tracked by the team but it didn't make a difference. DD didn't get her share.
Yes, it is getting quite obvious that the team's coaching staff is not meeting their commitment not just to my dd, but some of the other team members as well. shame because 1 coach is pretty good, but can't change HC's decisions.

I think your DD would benefit most (as a pitcher and a player) by being treated fairly, even if it means finding a new team. In the long run, your DD will be happier and her development as a player will be better. Just my 2 cents. My DD is 16 and a sophomore in HS, hence "a lotta water under the bridge, Mr. Rick"

yes, you're absolutely right. let's see what the next tournament will bring.

 

[chrispots]

As the coach...I'll tell you that I'm very conscious of this and my DD is pretty talented...She threw a 3 hitter, struck out 11 and almost hit for the cycle on a fractured ankle 2 weeks ago (we didn't know it was fractured because she never complained about it).

She pitched the least of any of my pitchers last year and batted 3rd with the 4th best OB % stat and I still caught crap from my parents. I publish innings pitched and on base % stats every 3 weeks from September to July. In spite of this, I still lost 3 girls because of my obvious "favoritism." LMAO

On the flip side, there are 2 coaches within my organization that showcase their daughters in spite of their mediocre ability. I don't have a DD on either of their teams but it is bleeping painful to watch...9 runs in one inning given up and you don't pull her? REALLY?!? My advice: have a talk with the coach - don't make it about his\her daughter...make it about yours. Ask him\her what she has to do to move up in the lineup\play this position\pitch more, etc. I would also recommend having this talk NOT after a game or practice. Meet for a coffee or a beer or whatever...but meet outside of a softball realm...go in with an open mind, but if you get ANY attitude in their response...move on.

As a coach, I'm certainly not perfect but I really strive to keep an open mind...I've had screaming battles with my DW over me not positioning our DD here or there because I don't want to demonstrate any favoritism. As a parent, keep an open mind too...strive to take the higher road...you only have 120 days or so until tryouts for next year start...a pittance of time in the grand scheme of things....CP

 

[FastPitchCat]

As the coach...I'll tell you that I'm very conscious of this and my DD is pretty talented...She threw a 3 hitter, struck out 11 and almost hit for the cycle on a fractured ankle 2 weeks ago (we didn't know it was fractured because she never complained about it).

She pitched the least of any of my pitchers last year and batted 3rd with the 4th best OB % stat and I still caught crap from my parents. I publish innings pitched and on base % stats every 3 weeks from September to July. In spite of this, I still lost 3 girls because of my obvious "favoritism." LMAO

On the flip side, there are 2 coaches within my organization that showcase their daughters in spite of their mediocre ability. I don't have a DD on either of their teams but it is bleeping painful to watch...9 runs in one inning given up and you don't pull her? REALLY?!? My advice: have a talk with the coach - don't make it about his\her daughter...make it about yours. Ask him\her what she has to do to move up in the lineup\play this position\pitch more, etc. I would also recommend having this talk NOT after a game or practice. Meet for a coffee or a beer or whatever...but meet outside of a softball realm...go in with an open mind, but if you get ANY attitude in their response...move on.

As a coach, I'm certainly not perfect but I really strive to keep an open mind...I've had screaming battles with my DW over me not positioning our DD here or there because I don't want to demonstrate any favoritism. As a parent, keep an open mind too...strive to take the higher road...you only have 120 days or so until tryouts for next year start...a pittance of time in the grand scheme of things....CP

CP - i've been there, done that (talk), now just waiting for results or the lack thereof.
thanks.

 

[FastPitchCat]

we left our first team after two weeks because of rampant daddy ball and hideous coaching. Joined another, better team and are very happy. I was reluctant to pull the plug since it was her first team and I thought I might be misreading the situation and her skills, but I went with my gut and was right. On the new team she still is a middle of the pack player but everything makes sense now, the girl playing her preferred IF position is BETTER, the no #1 pitcher is BETTER, the girls ahead of her in the lineup are BETTER. That is all I care about. DD is in the same relative position as before, backup pitcher, backup 1st, starting OF, bottom third of lineup, but now it is because the girls ahead of her are better than her so I am fine with it. I was absolutely not fine with watching coaches daughters get more circle time, bat higher etc when they did not perform as well. Go with your gut and don't look back. The bonus is that now the team actually competes and wins so that is fun.

in 2 weeks, i'll know and post back thanks, JJS

 

[CoogansBluff]

She pitched the least of any of my pitchers last year and batted 3rd with the 4th best OB % stat and I still caught crap from my parents. I publish innings pitched and on base % stats every 3 weeks from September to July. In spite of this, I still lost 3 girls because of my obvious "favoritism." LMAO

Not defending your parents, but having the 4th-best OBA doesn't justify that a player bat third. How did she rank in batting avg and slugging pct?

 

[RetiredCoach]

I have to add some new information on to my previous post on this thread in which I expounded upon the
trials and tribulations that my oldest DD endured in the local softball organization. Last night were the
pitching tryouts for the local high school team who, for as long as I can remember, have finished in the
top five in the state. She's a 9th grader and was trying out for Junior Varsity.

The HC was watching her and directing her upon which pitches to throw and was, obviously, impressed.
He asked my daughter what level she played at last year. She said, "14U B". "What about this year?"
"16U B". He then asked whom the "A" pitchers were.

He then went on a long rant and rave about all the politics in these organizations and how for his team
that he just takes the best. He said I get parents that call me up and say that my daughter should be
starting for his team because she plays "A" ball. He said that it just doesn't matter because it depends
upon politics, etc. etc.

BTW, my ninth grade DD will be doing some pitching for Junior Varsity this year and, as a side note, my
7th grader will be pitching for the 9th grade team. I'm liking the school team better than our local
organization!

 

[maddball44]

We stayed for our commitment and moved on.... alot wiser. DD plays for non-parent team.