Daddy Ball

[FP26]

You are not alone. I know of one team that is a 90 minute drive that does not use daddy coaches. There are several teams that have an assistant without a relative playing (we have an ex college player helping us) but almost all coaches locally are dads and a few moms. So our choices are daddy ball or switch sports. Apparently it is different in other parts of the country.

 

[FastPitchCat]

This is quite the thread. If Chris hadn't called me out... I probably would let this one be... but... DAMN YOU, CHRIS!!!

Just an observation... and this is not a personal attack on anyone... just a coaches perspective.

AGAIN... just a DIFFERENT perspective. If you read this as negative... well... perhaps that's the problem...

I've coached for awhile... and what I hear on the sidelines is the same stuff I'm hearing on this thread. I see kids playing the game and parents talking about it... from the sidelines. I hear all about the ability of this kid, that kid, and... all sorts of crazy stuff...

I hear lots of parents talking...

Point being... as a coach or parent... I can't control any of that crap, but I can control my experience and POSITIVELY influence hers (DD). I can make sure that all my daughter sees is support, encouragement, and an expectation of her that is slightly higher than her own. If I can control my emotions, I can expect her to. If she asks me a question, I better give her the right answer. If she is giving 100% effort... than why in the heck am I not giving 120%?!

Look, I get it... the world is full of idiots. Just don't forget... that this perception can be universally applied. If her team is run by a bunch of idiots... should I really subject her to that?

In the words of Old Ben: "Who's the more foolish? The fool... or the fool who follows?"

When I hear parents say: "I don't have the time." what I actually hear is: "I'm going to be a pain in your a$$, not help, complain, and... don't be surprised if my DD is developmentally behind with a bad attitude."

Here's another consideration... how do you think it is to be the daughter of a coach? Easy cheesey? What's it like, socially? Do you think the comments made by parents TO their own children don't reach the ears of the coaches daughter? Guess who often feels the most pressure to perform... and questions their own adequacy regularly?

Truth is, communities are falling apart. Leagues are collapsing... all because people 'don't have the time'... and the time they do have is spent negatively deconstructing the efforts of others.

Do most coaches start because of their kids? Absolutely. And you? Do you think that parents make coaching enjoyable? Think again...

We have to ask ourselves... Am I being fair? Am I setting a good example? Am I better for criticizing those that dedicate their time to OTHER children, including the dedication of time to my own?

You ever wonder if everyone feels your way?... and If you got your way... what does that mean for the other player(s)?

As I read parents accounts of "the other people"... I've yet to read anything positive about the other kids that are getting more playing time... just that they make errors. ANd I'm not going to lie... whenever I hear negative... I look around and SEE negative. Too often... we try and sell ourselves as the victim... a positive person in a negative world. But the reality is that it's just more negativity that we're peddling off... only it's different... because... hmmm...

It's a crazy trend... but when we voice our displeasure in front of our kids... lo and behold... they learn to do the same thing.

When we compare our kid to another... we teach them comparison... NOT competition.
When we point out a fault in another, we expose one of our own.
Resolution is attained through actions... not complaints.
What is it we control... if we are controlled by others?

And lastly... how ironic is the derogatory phrase, "Daddy Ball"?

Just some thoughts to ponder on... wish you all the best. ~JS

good post java. but just as you mentioned, there are a lot of idiots out there, and that includes coaches, parents and players.
coaches give their time to the players and kudos to them, but like it or not, there are good and bad situations everywhere.

some folks who have responded to this post have said what they've experienced. however, unless i'm misunderstanding one of your points, you seem to think that parents who complain about it are being "victims".

Too often... we try and sell ourselves as the victim... a positive person in a negative world. But the reality is that it's just more negativity that we're peddling off

yes, some will paint themselves as such, but the truth is, there are situations when some truly are victims.
So what then? Don't complain but get off the road before the bus runs you over?

btw, i like what ol' ben kenobi said

 

[guero_gordo]

i don't know why "daddyball" has a negative connotation but around here if dads did not coach there would be no teams and a player cannot play on a rep team if they do not play on a rec team

Daddyball is not about dad's who coach, it's about dad's who coach AND show favoritism to their own kid.
Fair competition makes players and teams better, and favoritism defeats both.

 

[javasource]

yes, some will paint themselves as such, but the truth is, there are situations when some truly are victims.

Absolutely. Maya Angelou once said:

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

Too many parents handle these little defeats along the way as tragedies... in front of their kids... and then everyone starts hanging their head... and all hope is lost. It's no longer about what you can do to make the situation better... it's about what others have done to you... and it's because of them that you are in your current predicament. That's when all the negativity and anger starts... and at that point, you've lost... 'they' have won.

Whether it's a good or bad person... it's this understanding that makes them stronger. Case in point... Napoleon once said, "Men are more easily governed through their vices than through their virtues.” Big words for a small dude.

So what then? Don't complain but get off the road before the bus runs you over?

Or conversely... don't stand in the middle of the road... looking to get run over.

My biggest point of that post was... that as parents or coaches... you always have an audience. That audience is kids. Teach them how to handle adversity positively. The negativity, criticism, and anger that MOST people CHOOSE to cope with adversity is a down-right horrible lesson for a kid to learn. Toni Morrison - an incredible woman - once said:

"Anger ... it's a paralyzing emotion ... you can't get anything done. People sort of think it's an interesting, passionate, and igniting feeling — I don't think it's any of that — it's helpless ... it's absence of control — and I need all of my skills, all of the control, all of my powers ... and anger doesn't provide any of that — I have no use for it whatsoever."

Or... less eloquently: If the bus driver is that awful... take another route... and if that bus driver is horrible... well, it might be time to buy your own car.

btw, i like what ol' ben kenobi said

Yeah, Old Ben had his shiznit together... Thanks for keepin' a cool head, FPC!

 

[JJsqueeze]

Great perspective as usual...but are you telling me that Maya Angelou and Toni Morrison are NOT the same person?

 

[FastPitchCat]

Absolutely. Maya Angelou once said:

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

Too many parents handle these little defeats along the way as tragedies... in front of their kids... and then everyone starts hanging their head... and all hope is lost. It's no longer about what you can do to make the situation better... it's about what others have done to you... and it's because of them that you are in your current predicament. That's when all the negativity and anger starts... and at that point, you've lost... 'they' have won.

Whether it's a good or bad person... it's this understanding that makes them stronger. Case in point... Napoleon once said, "Men are more easily governed through their vices than through their virtues.” Big words for a small dude.


Or conversely... don't stand in the middle of the road... looking to get run over.

My biggest point of that post was... that as parents or coaches... you always have an audience. That audience is kids. Teach them how to handle adversity positively. The negativity, criticism, and anger that MOST people CHOOSE to cope with adversity is a down-right horrible lesson for a kid to learn. Toni Morrison - an incredible woman - once said:

"Anger ... it's a paralyzing emotion ... you can't get anything done. People sort of think it's an interesting, passionate, and igniting feeling — I don't think it's any of that — it's helpless ... it's absence of control — and I need all of my skills, all of the control, all of my powers ... and anger doesn't provide any of that — I have no use for it whatsoever."

Or... less eloquently: If the bus driver is that awful... take another route... and if that bus driver is horrible... well, it might be time to buy your own car.



Yeah, Old Ben had his shiznit together... Thanks for keepin' a cool head, FPC!

do you somehow listen to Joel Osteen?

very good points, java.

 

[Jojo]

I had 2 new 9yr olds pitch their first games last week. They both pitch on the same team. They said they each got one inning, that the game went 2 innings. I said, I could understand that, pretty much average for league 10u. Then they said they each struck out the first 3 batters they faced. I said, Wow, What happened to the other team's pitchers that made their innings take so long? I was under the impression that the pitchers were all divided up to make each team equally competitive pitcher wise.

The moms said they were. But the team they faced had a coach and asst. coach that each had DD's as pitchers who were not taking lessons, and they didn't want any other pitchers on their team, they only wanted to pitch their DD's.
Made me feel sorry for the rest of the kids on their team.