Daddy Ball

[FP26]

I think most dads and some moms are harder on their own kids but that normally does not equate to less playing time. I also think mom coaches are more fair (on average) than dad coaches when it comes to their own kid.

Not in my case. When it was time to get another girl into the game, I would often pick DD to come out. I very rarely pitched DD (as a starter) on Sunday even though she was arguably equal to our #1 pitcher. She would often come in in relief of the other pitcher. There were many things I did in order to avoid the perception of daddy ball. It got to the point that several parents on the team would ask why my DD was not playing/pitching more!! What I finally realized is that I was treating someone unfairly, but it was my own daughter!! The thread I started a few months back was met with great responses for and against daddy ball and how it is perceived. And I believe I am a better coach (and dad) today because of the advice of some of the people at DFP.

 

[FastPitchCat]

If you've got kids playing or batting twice as much as other kids and it's not a team where everyone knows you're trying to win national titles, then there's objective evidence either daddy ball or coaches who aren't in it for the right reasons.

you hit the nail right on the head. how can you fault a player if you give her one chance the the others get multiple chances?
coachs'd DD gets 2x as much mound time and performs worse. this has TONS of stats, but they don't use it. go figure.

Also, I wasn't criticizing you for lack of stats. Just saying that an argument is better when you do have them.

not at all and i agree about the use of stats.

 

[FastPitchCat]

Not in my case. When it was time to get another girl into the game, I would often pick DD to come out. I very rarely pitched DD (as a starter) on Sunday even though she was arguably equal to our #1 pitcher. She would often come in in relief of the other pitcher. There were many things I did in order to avoid the perception of daddy ball. It got to the point that several parents on the team would ask why my DD was not playing/pitching more!! What I finally realized is that I was treating someone unfairly, but it was my own daughter!! The thread I started a few months back was met with great responses for and against daddy ball and how it is perceived. And I believe I am a better coach (and dad) today because of the advice of some of the people at DFP.

maybe you can tell my DD's coach to do the same?

 

[FP26]

in a nutshell, yes. example: coach's DD doesn't give much effort going after fly balls and misses them MOST of the times, get's a yell from Daddy Coach and continues playing. non coaches' teammates struck out swinging in a pool game, doesn't get to bat in the next. Fair or stupid?

These are things that I would classify as "daddy ball", and I would be looking for another team if in your situation. I do feel very strongly that a team can be coached by "daddies" without being "daddy ball". But it takes people with open minds that are willing to work together and accept input from the parents. A term I like to use is transparency.

 

[RetiredCoach]

My oldest daughter has had a terrible "daddy ball" coach suppress her softball career since
fourth grade rec ball. That was the year that my DD decided she wanted to pitch. At first
it looked like a disaster then she got better and better and the AC, who's daughter also pitched,
suggested that his daughter get most of the innings to increase our wins. The current HC
did not go for this and we saw my daughter become the ace of the team.

The next year this guy became HC of the team and shutdown my DDs pitching career in
favor of his daughter and her friend. He claimed that my daughter couldn't pitch and seemed
to have the entire team convinced. Fortunately, he moved on to travel ball and my DD, lit up the
league with about a 90% strikeout rate and was the best player in the league. As a side note, my
youngest daughter also pitched for the team and became our #3 pitcher, as young as she was.

We moved my DD to travel ball the next year but, unfortunately, this guy was the HC the "A"
team, hence, my daughter never made the "A" team but lit up the "B" league. For travel ball this
is how it has stayed. I remember the contrast between my DD and this HCs daughter when they
were pitching on adjacent fields one day. I daughter was flinging the ball 50+ with a changeup
and a drop ball. This other girl threw mid to upper 40's without much movement on the ball.

Then enter school ball and no daddy coaches. My daughter was selected as the ace of the freshman
team and this guy's daughter didn't even get to pitch. It felt sweet! And still does.

 

[JAD]

"Daddy ball" exists, but there are also a lot of parents wearing "rose colored glasses" when it comes to their DD and her abilities. You might want to seek out an unbiased 3rd party opinion before you jump to conclusions. When you are looking for a team it is always a good idea to find one where your DD will not be competing with the coaches DD for playing time.

Sidebar: My DD is the #1 pitcher on her TB team, but her ERA is higher, and her W/L record is not as good because we always pitch her against the better teams we face in a tournament. Do not read to much into stats because you are not always comparing apples-to-apples.

 

[FastPitchCat]

does a parent of another team who comes and asks if DD gives pitching lessons count as an "unbiased" 3rd party opinion?
i have no issues when my DD doesn't do well on the mound. take her off, but just be fair with all the players on the team, be it on defense or on offense. i've spoken to the HC using the team's diplomatic protocols. some promises have been made, but it's looking like lip service. as i've said, the season is young. we'll see where this goes.

btw, JAD, you are absolutely right on the stats thing.

 

[RubberBiscuit]

We found another team.

+1............

 

[starsnuffer]

I tell them that being "better" is never good enough. They have to be at least twice as good as the next kid. If they are twice as good, then no coach can ever put up with the fact that every single player and parent will be pushing for them to play the position instead of the other kid they are twice as good as.

-W

 

[Rocketech1]

The best way to fight "daddy ball" is to get off your butt and manage a team yourself if you think your kid is getting unfair treatment.