Daddy Ball

[Slappers]

i applaud you then. in my DD's team, when errors are made by the coach's dd's, all they get is a yell and they stay on the field and continue to make the same stupid mistakes.

So a player makes a mistake and you bench them? Yeah, that will teach them...

I'm a "daddy ball" coach. My oldest is one of the best players on the team and my youngest is the best pitcher on the team. That's not me thinking my kids are better because I'm their dad, it's because of the stats on the field.

I treat everyone the same. I'm coach at the field and daddy the rest of the time. If either the coach or his DD's can't separate the two then the coach shouldn't be coaching. I have a responsibility to the girls that work hard for me as well.

 

[CoogansBluff]

I've not experienced much of it. I've seen it on other teams, but never had a complaint on my DD's teams.

My suggestions -

- Understand that all complaints of daddy ball are cases of a parent having a difference of opinion about the abilities of the coach's daughter, usually in relation to the parent's daughter. Somebody is right, and somebody is wrong. One poster suggested that the coach is right 75 percent of the time. I don't know if that's correct. Maybe it's closer to 50-50, but my guess is that the coach more often is correct because he/she on average is more knowledgeable and spends more time evaluating the situation than the parents. I'm not doubting you, as what you're describing definitely exists, but understand that no one on this forum knows what's really going on. Except hopefully you.

- I would not complain or express your concerns to other parents. It's just your opinion, and it's divisive to the team to have the coach's decisions second-guessed publicly by parents, especially when it involves evaluating other people's daughters. It's called drama, and it's bad for the team. If you feel strongly enough about it, discuss it with the coach in a respectful way. Also, it's fine on an anonymous forum to describe other players as making stupid mistakes, but I would not say those things to anyone else associated with the team.

- Does anyone keep statistics? If so, it will mean more to a coach if you have objective information to compare your DD to another pitcher or player. Maybe keep your own stats to see if what you believe you're seeing is accurate.

- Coaches who have daddy-ball issues usually go one of three ways -- They figure it out over time and realize they're DD is not as good or valuable as they assumed and they change (I've seen that); they are tolerated because their other qualities are strong enough to make parents accept it; or they go out of business because daddy-ball is not good business. The chances of change are probably not high, so the option of finding another team certainly should be considered.

 

[softball88]

I'm daddy ball to my 8u team. I'm not dad when we arrive at the park. I'm coach. My wife or my mom is there 4 her if she gets hurt. Every girl will play every position....it will be a rotation. I have moms and dads that have problems with this because their princes is better than everyone.

Grass is not greener on the other side either. If u find the right mixture of dad or mom coaches it can be a great experience. My oldest found this in daddy ball and she wont leave that team . The coaches r great...and I'm not one of the coaches.

 

[Sweet Lou]

I think fastPcat is upset with the difference in treatment. Coaches kid makes error, not pulled; non-coaches kid makes error gets pulled. But maybe I'm wrong in reading the OP.

 

[FastPitchCat]

I think fastPcat is upset with the difference in treatment. Coaches kid makes error, not pulled; non-coaches kid makes error gets pulled. But maybe I'm wrong in reading the OP.

in a nutshell, yes. example: coach's DD doesn't give much effort going after fly balls and misses them MOST of the times, get's a yell from Daddy Coach and continues playing. non coaches' teammates struck out swinging in a pool game, doesn't get to bat in the next. Fair or stupid?

 

[klamath632]

I had to move DD somewhere else after last season. Daddy ball was the name of the game, and after a season of watching the HC's daughter play every inning and bat leadoff every game, I had had enough. She couldn't field a grounder to save her life and couldn't hit the ball out of the infield. HC also had a heated relationship with DD's pitching coach which didn't help things.

Here is the average and OBP of every girl on the team. The one at the very bottom was the HC's daughter. DD was #4 on the list but seemed to be benched more often than not.

AVG/OBP
.571/.613
.545/.630
.478/.600
.423/.483
.375/.464
.316/.480
.316/.350
.292/.370
.286/.524
.273/.273
.250/.478
.200/.375

 

[CoogansBluff]

Here is the average and OBP of every girl on the team. The one at the very bottom was the HC's daughter. DD was #4 on the list but seemed to be benched more often than not.

AVG/OBP
.571/.613
.545/.630
.478/.600
.423/.483
.375/.464
.316/.480
.316/.350
.292/.370
.286/.524
.273/.273
.250/.478
.200/.375

Good effort. It's hard to argue when you've got the stats.

 

[FastPitchCat]

statistics is a good thing, BUT only when you have sufficient data to support the stats. if some players don't get to play, the only stat they'll get is how many times they didn't play and it wouldn't be fair to use that stat, would it?

how can you prove your worth when you don't even get a chance to prove it?
this season is young. we'll see how it goes.

 

[fastpitch]

When its true daddy ball and your child is being negatively affected there isn't much you can do except stay and accept it or find another team. The parent coaches guilty of daddy or mommy ball are probably not going to change anytime soon no matter what stats you show them. They are in it for their kid... not so much the other kids.

If your kid has the same position as a "daddy ball" coaches kid, either your kid learns a new position or leave. The worst case usually is when the coaches kid is one of the weaker players and doesn't sit accordingly.

I know of one team where the daddy ball coach didn't recruit anyone at his DD's position. He was a great technical coach and got along great with the players but his kid was the worst player on the team. Just didn't have the athletic ability. The only way he could keep her at that position was purposely not recruit for that position. Some true top players tried out and never made the team because they played his kids position. He also never wanted to look at any stats and got defensive if someone talked about it. It was a very good team. Eventually the team disbanded and that girl found a bf and stopped playing softball completely. She was the only one from that team who didn't continue to play.

 

[CoogansBluff]

statistics is a good thing, BUT only when you have sufficient data to support the stats. if some players don't get to play, the only stat they'll get is how many times they didn't play and it wouldn't be fair to use that stat, would it?

how can you prove your worth when you don't even get a chance to prove it?
this season is young. we'll see how it goes.

What age group is it? To what extent are players not playing? How big is the roster?

Those can be damning statistics, as well. If you've got kids playing or batting twice as much as other kids and it's not a team where everyone knows you're trying to win national titles, then there's objective evidence either daddy ball or coaches who aren't in it for the right reasons.

Also, I wasn't criticizing you for lack of stats. Just saying that an argument is better when you do have them.