Tryout Etiquette-shouldn't what happens in tryout stays in tryout?

[The Man In Blue]

The difference here is they had already committed to one team and then tried out for another. That’s not just ego at that point.

A team that had not even formed yet. There was no guarantee this was even a team yet.

 

[Tide_will_Roll]

If THAT coach did THAT to you ... he made the best decision for you. I am NOT saying it was right, I am saying THAT is not the coach you want to be playing for.

If a coach cannot handle his players exploring options, especially when it means the player is better for it, then that coach is NOT coaching for the KIDS, he/she is coaching for himself/herself.

I'd agree with you. Recently, our team had a player's dad tell the coach his daughter wouldn't be coming back because she wanted to explore other opportunities.

The coach proceeded to bad talk the player to the dad pointing out her flaws and saying they are delusional if they think she is good enough for a team that is better than the one she has been playing for. Mind you, the dad saying they wouldn't be coming back was in response to the coach telling him he'd really like her to continue playing for his team next season.

 

[PapaBear]

Does the coach pay your bills? Give birth to your child? At the end of the season and tryouts are happening you can do what you need to do for your kid and your kid only. Those that chirp, are also the ones who wonder why their kid isn't getting accolades or quick to blame someone else.

 

[Long Baller]

Was there ever any talk/offer with the coach about coming back to the team next year before you went to other tryouts? If he offered a spot, and the response was something like "We love this team, would never leave..." then I could see the coach getting upset hearing about going to tryouts. I've seen this a lot of this over the years. Coaches blow smoke, parents blow smoke, and people end up in awkward situations.

 

[MNDad]

A team that had not even formed yet. There was no guarantee this was even a team yet.

They still committed to it. Not just the coach, but the rest of the families are counting on them being there. I don’t blame the coach for not wanting to risk that they’d bolt on a whim at any point in the season.

 

[_MIA_]

One way to do the whole leave the team/tryout thing is to:

a) make it pretty clear on DFP that your kid is leaving and have it filter back to the org so that
b) at the end of the season the coach puts out an ad looking for your kids' position before any in-person discussion has been initiated but then
c) messages you after the ad has been put out saying he would love to have your kid back but only if you stopped saying mean words about him (even though he is never actually named ) on DFP

Not that I know of that happening to anybody but I figured I would just throw it out there....

 

[radness]

This isnt intended to be snarky, however kinda is...maybe

Hmmm is there such a thing as an all binding contract in travel ball?
That clearly defines and details exactly how the coach is going to treat everyone for the upcomming 6 months- year.
Never heard of such a thing.

(not talkin about tournament venue rules)

Travel ball is a choice.
Take responsibility for the decisions you make cuz it wont help pointing fingers at what others do.

So simple.
But who will start raising their own hand first, coaches or parents, to start taking responsibility for themself...hmmm

 

[Orange Socks]

If you know you are leaving the program. Just "Hissy Quit" at the last tournament and be done with it.

I just spoke with a buddy who said one of their pitchers quit in the middle of the Fireworks tourney and said that they won't be at the next tourney (TFL) in Plano. "Family Obligations" Senior pitcher that parents didn't like the way she was being utilized. Sounds like a case of Senioritis and not wanting to pay for anymore travel. We had 4 2019 Seniors that faded away the last 2 tourneys. Not cool!

 

[The Man In Blue]

They still committed to it. Not just the coach, but the rest of the families are counting on them being there. I don’t blame the coach for not wanting to risk that they’d bolt on a whim at any point in the season.

I can understand this perspective, and I will always say you should think about the team as part of your decision. However I'm getting the sense that the team was not fully coming together. The OP mentioned it was a commitment for a fall team and that late in the summer the team still had not formed. This wasn't an existing team or an existing program; this was a flier on something somebody's dad was whipping up from scratch. (I'm even wondering if "B" was something the coach stated or if it was a legitimate designation.)

In this case, should the player just be screwed when the team never happens (and the coach walks away in much the same manner as what he is criticizing)?

@RADcatcher brought up the idea of a player contract. In another thread (and many other places) I advocated for organizations and teams to have written policies (mainly to govern financial and legal matters as well as to use for behavior issues). I would fully advocate for this. It isn't something that you are looking to use punitively, but it expressly spells out your team expectations.

 

[Orange Socks]

@RADcatcher brought up the idea of a player contract. In another thread (and many other places) I advocated for organizations and teams to have written policies (mainly to govern financial and legal matters as well as to use for behavior issues). I would fully advocate for this. It isn't something that you are looking to use punitively, but it expressly spells out your team expectations.

Our former 16U/18U organization required a notarized contract to be signed. Notary was in attendance at the team/parent meeting. Not one person complained, but there really was no reason to complain. It laid at expectations and the coach was fair and did everything the right way. He did everything on the cheap, recycling uniforms year to year but played in all of the high end tourneys. Every kid that finished out went on to play college ball. Too bad the organization fizzled out once he stepped aside. My DD always says, she loved that coach. Maybe not during those 6 hour sweltering practices.