Tryout Etiquette-shouldn't what happens in tryout stays in tryout?

[Bernmoll]

I’m finding that rher

Why is it a shocker?

A. Did you Speak to the coach previously to address how to develop dd *months ago*.
B. Have a follow up to the development conversation from months ago.
C. If its really a team/coach thing,...Then it becomes up to the family what to do if nothing gets better.
D. Coach would atleast have been in the loop.
E. If All that happened...
Its just emotions.
F. If it didnt...the coach is shocked...because its bad communication which also lead to your concern of coach finding out about tryouts...
of course then rubbing the wrong way.

No wonder.

All this basically. I do have to say that it isn’t always easy. sometimes a fine line to give feedback or voice a concern to a coach without being labeled as the parents that complains a lot. regardless, I would rather err on the side of being open so when DD goes on a try out for another team, it shouldn’t be a ‘surprise’ if people find out. I’ve already talked with DD in length about how players come and go for many reasons and that every year/every other year, you will get new players or have to join a new team. I think it’s very rare that a whole team stays together for a long time.

 

[KrisHur]

We always told, and still tell, DD's coaches before tryout season that she's committed to her team but is going to all the local tryouts (should she hear about it) for the experience of attending tryouts and being evaluated by a stranger. Which so far has been true. She loves her team.

 

[radness]

We always told, and still tell, DD's coaches before tryout season that she's committed to her team but is going to all the local tryouts (should she hear about it) for the experience of attending tryouts and being evaluated by a stranger. Which so far has been true. She loves her team.

Like communication!
Unfortunetly not all folks/coaches will receive that info well.

 

[MNDad]

We always told, and still tell, DD's coaches before tryout season that she's committed to her team but is going to all the local tryouts (should she hear about it) for the experience of attending tryouts and being evaluated by a stranger. Which so far has been true. She loves her team.

This is fairly common and I think it’s a good experience. It’s also why so many programs are charging for try outs. Which I also don’t have a problem with, but it comes as quite a shock to parents just entering the travel world.

 

[erniekru]

Always keep your cards close to your chest in softball! 3 years ago, DD had committed to a B level team in the fall. An A+ level team was having an open tryout at the end of the summer, DD wanted to give it a shot to see what the best looked like and what a tryout of that caliber looks like.

Long story short, it got out that she WAS GOING TO tryout in 2 weeks, which was still prior to the new team being fully formed, and I get the call...

"We've decided to move on from your DD, sorry".

In hindsight, I was extremely naive on the ethics of what we did and now realize that the softball world is SMALL and it was a serious faux pas. We were new to travel and didn't think anything of it at the time. But the moral is, coaches can be very judgmental on the optics of trying out. If you decide to try out, make sure to think of the worst case scenario PRIOR to going, because it will get out!

 

[jsoftballcoach]

Always keep your cards close to your chest in softball! 3 years ago, DD had committed to a B level team in the fall. An A+ level team was having an open tryout at the end of the summer, DD wanted to give it a shot to see what the best looked like and what a tryout of that caliber looks like.

Long story short, it got out that she WAS GOING TO tryout in 2 weeks, which was still prior to the new team being fully formed, and I get the call...

"We've decided to move on from your DD, sorry".

In hindsight, I was extremely naive on the ethics of what we did and now realize that the softball world is SMALL and it was a serious faux pas. We were new to travel and didn't think anything of it at the time. But the moral is, coaches can be very judgmental on the optics of trying out. If you decide to try out, make sure to think of the worst case scenario PRIOR to going, because it will get out!

The B team coach did this? I’m assuming that if you went to the A+ tryout then your DD was at least close to playing at that level and probably one of the better players on the B team. Wow.

I’ve been called into the office for DD attending a tryout also, but the way I see it if DD has not committed to a team then she is a free agent. No harm in seeing what’s out there.


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[The Man In Blue]

Always keep your cards close to your chest in softball! 3 years ago, DD had committed to a B level team in the fall. An A+ level team was having an open tryout at the end of the summer, DD wanted to give it a shot to see what the best looked like and what a tryout of that caliber looks like.

Long story short, it got out that she WAS GOING TO tryout in 2 weeks, which was still prior to the new team being fully formed, and I get the call...

"We've decided to move on from your DD, sorry".

In hindsight, I was extremely naive on the ethics of what we did and now realize that the softball world is SMALL and it was a serious faux pas. We were new to travel and didn't think anything of it at the time. But the moral is, coaches can be very judgmental on the optics of trying out. If you decide to try out, make sure to think of the worst case scenario PRIOR to going, because it will get out!

If THAT coach did THAT to you ... he made the best decision for you. I am NOT saying it was right, I am saying THAT is not the coach you want to be playing for.

If a coach cannot handle his players exploring options, especially when it means the player is better for it, then that coach is NOT coaching for the KIDS, he/she is coaching for himself/herself.

 

[CrazyNani]

We are reluctant to go to any tryout, anywhere. My dgd had little travel softball experience when her current travel coach let her workout with his Fall team, as a practice player. She soon transitioned to having a starting spot on the team, although not at her preferred position. Oh well, she was happy to be on the upper level travel team. Now, a year and a half later, it's tempting to see if she can really reach the potential that everyone agrees she has by trying out for a a more competitive team, however we want to remain loyal to this coach for doing an awesome job in developing her to this point, giving her a chance when she was barely ready and for being the dedicated coach that he has been. They are a 2nd year 14u team, playing 16u this year and seeing some 18u teams as well. Perhaps that's enough of a challenge for her at this point.

 

[Chris8]

We are reluctant to go to any tryout, anywhere. My dgd had little travel softball experience when her current travel coach let her workout with his Fall team, as a practice player. She soon transitioned to having a starting spot on the team, although not at her preferred position. Oh well, she was happy to be on the upper level travel team. Now, a year and a half later, it's tempting to see if she can really reach the potential that everyone agrees she has by trying out for a a more competitive team, however we want to remain loyal to this coach for doing an awesome job in developing her to this point, giving her a chance when she was barely ready and for being the dedicated coach that he has been. They are a 2nd year 14u team, playing 16u this year and seeing some 18u teams as well. Perhaps that's enough of a challenge for her at this point.

This is awesome.

Yet at the same time as girls get older.....need and desires change. starts at 14 and accelerates at 16/18's. Some girls want to play, play local and be "good" but no desire to play beyond HS. And that's OK....Other girls want to play beyond HS. The individual goals don't usually match up. This leads to players leaving to find a team that matches their aspirations. A player that only wants to play local and doesn't mind missing 2-3 tournaments a year...is not a good match for a young lady seeking to play in college and play at higher levels of travel. Nothing wrong with either...but I think it's why you start seeing a shuffle at 2yr 14's and up. Rarely does a team stay "together" through 18's. Maybe the coaches and a core 4-5 players but not the majority of the team.

 

[MNDad]

If THAT coach did THAT to you ... he made the best decision for you. I am NOT saying it was right, I am saying THAT is not the coach you want to be playing for.

If a coach cannot handle his players exploring options, especially when it means the player is better for it, then that coach is NOT coaching for the KIDS, he/she is coaching for himself/herself.

The difference here is they had already committed to one team and then tried out for another. That’s not just ego at that point.