Let's not have coaches!

[mosh]

I have also noticed several coach bashing threads lately and I understand why many of you coaches might take offense or naturally take the side of the coach being bashed. But let me throw this out there. It may be that a lot of parents read many of the great coaches on this board and they expect their coaches to be on the same level. However, what they encounter just doesn't measure up to what they read here. In fact, from what i have observed I would say the vast majority of coaching out there is very bad. You know how I know the coaching is bad? Because you all have taught me what bad coaching is!!!

You are the ones telling us parents that bug squishing and hello elbow is wrong. You all tell us that 12 kids standing around while one kid flails away during "batting practice" is no good. You all said that its wrong for a coach to scream at an 11 year old for not throwing off her hockey-style catchers mask quick enough for a play at the plate. I have seen these things and more in the past week alone! It is much more common than you think.

Most of you are great coaches and you probably coach with or against a bunch of other great coaches. So it's possible you are shielded from a lot of the nonsense. But I believe you are a very small minority in the coaching universe.

I found this site a few years ago looking for advice to help in coaching my daughters rec team. I quickly realized how little I knew! I learned enough here to be able to do an adequate job but a year ago I figured I was at my ceiling and it was best for her development to find her a more competitive team with good coaching. I just assumed that the things discussed on here daily that most here would consider "best practices" would be common knowledge among experienced coaches. But they just aren't. I've been watching a lot of games around here and talking to a lot of people trying to find a good fit but it's tough. It's been a frustrating year but I'm still hopeful we'll find the right fit.

Sorry for the long winded post, I know this sounds like just another parent bashing a coach rant. But it's mostly a result of reading many of you all and thinking, "Man, I wish that person could be my daughter's coach!"

 

[cmustangsfp]

We have had an abundance of coach bashing threads. To their defense, I've seen some coaches I'd NEVER let my DD play for, some coaches I might let her play for, and some I was honored she played for. Some of the posts might be legit, some might be too much sun and rose glasses. But like we've said many times, DFP is a lot cheaper than a therapist..........and in some cases a lawyer.

That's why I always held tryouts for the parents. The best parents are whose girls were on my team.
I looked for who had a truck that also had a towable grill (they made the team "for sure")
The team mom who cooked good snacks (for the girls you know, I only ate the "left overs")
Quiet parents with no softball knowledge, yep come on board little Suzie.
Parents that had never coached before, express lane to TB team.
Dads that had never played baseball, you're in.
Also, parent that understood what TB was all about (pay your money, shut up and let me do my thing!)

Oh yeah, what they rolled up in also made a difference. Brand new Escalade (Hey Suzie needs that latest Xeno model).

If they had successful businesses that also made a difference. Team needs some new $ponsor$.

All kidding aside.. I really did interview the parents and look for indicators. I let some good talent walk and took on some developmental talent due to those interviews.

 

[cmustangsfp]

Paid team coaches will help this problem. Then the resumes will be checked more closely and professionalism would be expected. Seems if we volunteer for something in this world, we think we can do a crappy job, while we claim to know it all.

Or at least providing coaches with instructional videos or instructional clinics. The pitching coach I worked with for my DD's would give free clinics to the local rec league to help the girls improve. She never handed out her business cards at these events. She did this so the coaches could all get on board to get these girls to improve. One of the rec leagues I worked with also held a skills clinic day for a minimal fee to help the girls improve, but also to make sure the coaches were teaching the correct things.

Like any thing in life, some volunteers will take on more than they can chew, some will do ok at it and some will go above and beyond to ensure the success of the girls. I personally wanted to make sure I was teaching the correct things and not just remembering things from my youth. Look for those coaches.

 

[sluggers]

People always want what is not.
When it is hot, they want it cold.
When it is cold, they want it hot.
People always want what is not.​

It is the time of the season for parents to start complaining about TB coaching. It'll shift back to HS coaches in January.

In January, we were hearing how horrible the HS coaches were and that everyone couldn't wait until their DDs were back with their wonderful TB coaches. In June, we are now hearing that (surprise!) not all TB coaches are perfect.

 

[RetiredCoach]

I am a coach who came out of "retirement" this year to AC my oldest DD's team because they needed help. The HC of this team is a good guy who stepped up to help the girls out but is still a bit challenged by the game of fast pitch. The bottom line for both of us is that we are there to help the girls develop their skills and to have fun playing some softball this summer.

Even though I am a coach, I still enjoy bashing coaches because, IMHO, some of them desperately deserve it! I "retired" from coaching about a year ago because I was fed up with the bum rap my DDs were getting with the local organization. The politics, the favoritism, the back stabbing is all real and apparent. However, even though they are "B" teams my daughters have good teams to play on with good coaches. They will have a fun summer! And they can still rely on the greater objectivity that the local high school team has who finished second in the state this year. It's good that they have two teams to play on.

As a coach, I have had very few problems with parents. If I have a successful formula it is this:

(1) Know what I'm doing (DFP helps a lot!!!)
(2) Don't play favorites with my DDs. (I tell them that you know that you're my favorite but I am a coach and I am here for ALL of the girls not just you.)
(3) If a parent has a suggestion they usually find they have themselves a job. (So, I'm not teaching batting correctly so why don't you help us out next practice with batting?)
(4) Give every girl a chance. (My attitude is that any girl that's willing to show up and work I am willing to work with regardless of what I think her long term possibilities are. There have been many pleasant surprises over the years).

 

[Country Boy]

Teams usually only have 2-4 coaches. But a 12 player team can have 24-48 'parents'. Odds of encountering bad parents is higher than bad coaches...

 

[indianafp]

As a coach I have come to many conclusions over my 16 years of coaching. One, you can't make everyone happy. Once I got past trying, my job got easier. Two, we are coaching young athletes and at any given moment their moods will change and now what was once a highly competitive team is now struggling to get on base and hopefully the parents see that as well. And three, Thick Skin. Fair or unfair, everything comes back to the coach. I have learned to admit to my mistakes and say, "you know what, that one is on me and it won't happen again." But I am also not shy about talking to a parent about a girls performance. It's a two way street.
I have set on the other side of the fence though. My boy plays baseball and I don't coach him. I've tried, it just doesn't work. So I sit and watch. Never one to say anything. Never one to openly question. I may think, "hmmm..what's he doing." but never out loud. If someone asks my opinion, I give it, but I try to avoid giving out free opinions without being asked. I have also went so far to defend coaches in all sports when I hear "Why doesn't he or she have them do this or that." Well, you don't know what he or she is telling them. They maybe saying the same thing. They are kids, at times they have selective hearing."
I am very patient with parents. Some people ask how I can be, well, I have to be. Sometimes they don't understand and that is my fault or as in rule one, there is nothing that will make them happy which in the end they will leave. Oh well.

Sorry for rambling. LOL!!

 

[Huskerdu]

This is incredible. Last year I cut three parents from the team and unfortunately they had to take their daughters with them, one was a cancer, the other two, the best kids on the planet.

When it comes to my DD I am learning every day the power of realization that I wear a coach's hat and a daddy hat, and I need to make sure I darn well know when to take one off and put the other one on. I never wear the dad-hat in the dugout, never...even when she has an acute injury. On the ride home, I make sure that coach's hat is buried in a bucket in the back. She knows the difference, I know the difference. The coach will never compromise the dad's relationship with his daughter. It may sound bi-polar, but I diagrammed it out, and we discussed it so both of us understand. She doesn't have a last name on the field.

It helps to have been a player, to have the player's swagger and the professionalism and presence on the field, if for no other reason than for parents to know they will have a hard time challenging what I do on the field from a technical standpoint. Now it doesn't do anything to help when little Debbie isn't even hitting her weight and balls are going through the wickets...

 

[Doug Romrell]

As a baby softball parent and coach for my young daughters, I've got to admit finding this forum has been eye opening. I know parents are harsh, but I'm a little put off with the prospect of putting myself out there. With the depth of complaints, it appears parents forget that coaches are human, no one person knows it all, and above all, the coach is giving his or her time to try to make a team and the individuals successful. While coaches are not perfect, they are typically trying to do something good. Apparently there is no benefit of the doubt for coaches.

Yes, all the time coaches put in on behalf of the parents' kid is usually donated time (free). Many parents just expect the time to be free and cut the coach no slack. It's one thing if the coach is paid, it's quite another if the coach simply donates his/her time on behalf of the parents' kid.

 

[Doug Romrell]

Paid team coaches will help this problem. Then the resumes will be checked more closely and professionalism would be expected. Seems if we volunteer for something in this world, we think we can do a crappy job, while we claim to know it all.

People around here are very cheap. So cheap that there is not way a program with a paid coach would fly.