how quickly some quit and move on

[bmakj]

yes, if sitting every game, I would have DD change mid stream as well (but this means HC would have lied to us, because if they cannot after watching her promise at least 50% PT overall, and say 30% at her primary position, we would not join).

this girl sat maybe one inning per game (and was CBO on offense), which just about everybody on the team did. maybe did not get the inning she should like at primary position, but still got about 40% of innings there.

 

[Strike2]

Having a roster full of capable players on a really good team is a blessing, and potentially a problem.

Those sitting at the bottom of the lineup of a really good team might be at the top of the lineup of a pretty good team. If the coach doesn't shuffle the lineup and keep the opportunity balanced, players used to playing every inning will inevitably start looking around. Even if the coach does it perfectly, some may decide to go to a team where they won't sit at all.

 

[FP26]

yes, if sitting every game, I would have DD change mid stream as well (but this means HC would have lied to us, because if they cannot after watching her promise at least 50% PT overall, and say 30% at her primary position, we would not join).

this girl sat maybe one inning per game (and was CBO on offense), which just about everybody on the team did. maybe did not get the inning she should like at primary position, but still got about 40% of innings there.

The only promise I ever made to players was that they would have the opportunity to compete for the spot they wanted.

50%/30% seems like a reasonable ask. I'm really not sure how I would have reacted if a parent asked me for that. It never came up, so I don't know. Some requested more substantial promises and I refused. In most cases those players went to other teams, and I was fine with it. I simply would not make a promise unless I knew for a fact that it was possible. It just opens up a can of worms I would prefer to keep closed.

 

[Eric F]

Meh. It is what it is. Peoples' only loyalty is to what they think is right for their kid.

I've seen numerous of players leave mid-season (we did once, but not to find another team), pretty much every season my DD has been playing TB. I've seen 2 quit mid-tournament. I've seen 2 players get pulled out of the dugout by their parents mid-game at PGF Nationals in front of a bunch of D1 coaches (including Patty Gasso), with one of the moms screaming and cursing at our coaches as they left.

In your case, I suspect that the player from the core group was used to being the top dog, and didn't like being pushed down the ladder by a better player. This happened on my DD's team this year, too. I know parents who have done this repeatedly with their DDs.

 

[Westwind]

What @Eric F said above is 100% correct.

Players come, players go.

DD quit summer travel softball the summer before her senior year. It was the week before her team was supposed to go to Colorado. She was still not committed. She thought she no longer wanted to play college softball. It DID factor into our decision that she played for a large org with a large roster and while she was a starter that played most innings, she was easily replaced. We felt we were not hurting the team.

She was burned out, worn out and felt like she was missing out on life outside of softball. She found out that what she was missing wasn’t as good as what she thought it was. She missed the game. She played on a local team I coached in the fall and we pretty much won all of our games and she found out she missed playing better competition- even if that meant not winning every game.

She ended up being invited back to her “big org” travel ball team in the winter. There were some promises made that appealed to her as an unrecruited 2020... She left my team and hit the road. I stayed with the team I was coaching. I missed most of her summer after not having the chance to see her play high school in the spring (cancelled due to Covid.). Yet it worked out. She ended up at the school she wanted to go to the entire time, a school that was not available to her had she kept playing on my team. It worked out.

So... “loyalty”. The only obligation I felt in all this was to the team I was coaching. I didn’t leave that team. While we had a staff of me plus four assistants that could have EASILY picked up the slack, I had made a commitment and wasn’t going to bail out. On the other hand we did what was right for dd and we won’t apologize for that. I did not hear any complaints. I have friends who had players on the team. Some had been on high profile teams that travelled. They had the experience to understand why we did what we did.

Parents are going to do what they think is best for their kids.

Some times their motivation is not as pure as we would like. It’s not our job to worry about that and the longer you are around the game, the less you care.

“You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need”

Players come. Players go.

 

[OsDad]

On top of the kid @pattar mentioned, two other kids quit two different teams in the same tournament- one of them mid GAME, and the other kid was already on her second team in the last two months or so. Both kids will land somewhere, I'm sure, because there will be a coach who thinks they'll be the ones to be able to make the parents happy. I imagine they're wrong, but like @Westwind said- Players come. Players go.

 

[efastball]

In the long run, none of this stuff is important.

 

[_MIA_]

In the long run, none of this stuff is important.

In the long run softball doesn't matter..but the parenting failures often involved in said decisions do have consequences..I see it in how kids handle cognitive dissonance in my classes every year...

 

[Westwind]

Quitting during a game is mighty over the top!

I do also agree that there are some drama majors involved with changing teams.

You can’t always lump people who are changing teams into that category though.

Changing teams for better competition and better opportunities isn’t automatically team hopping. Timing is everything in that deal.

Yet I do know that in the current age of the transfer portal, college coaches do notice it and you may have to explain it.

I‘m not sure if this is relevant but there has only been one coach that ever made dd cry. He made a lot of players cry and there were some days I hated being his assistant for that reason. DD recently told me he was her favorite coach.... A lot of players left his teams. He was/is a lot of players fav coach.

 

[FP26]

In the long run softball doesn't matter..but the parenting failures often involved in said decisions do have consequences..I see it in how kids handle cognitive dissonance in my classes every year...

I currently supervise a staff of nearly 300 associates. In our industry, turnover is generally high, while our company's is extremely low (by industry standards). That is something I am proud of. Because of the industry we are in, an applicant is required to provide a detailed job listing for the past 10 years. When it is time to interview someone the first thing I look at is how often the applicant moves from job to job. That information is part of our decision. Because of the industry, I'm sure another company will be willing to offer them a job if we decide not to.

Some of these applicants may have very good reasons for their movement. That's fine. But it is unlikely we will become part of their list.