Awesome......Worth a shot? OF COURSE it is...
Thanks
Thanks
First Year 12U - First time coaching girls - Need reassurance/Help
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Thank you, I am aware that only I can change the way people perceive me. So if these girls are seeing me in a bad light, I need to refocus and alter something. I am always looking to learn and just want what's best for them. In order to do that I need to ask questions, listen to replies and try to apply the ones I like. SO far I think next Wednesday is going to be different.
- Jun 24, 2013
- 1,059
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It takes a long time to change their perspective, do not get too frustrated.
I wish you luck!
If you figure all this out please post the answer.
(Girls read body language really good, it doesn’t matter what your month is saying it has a lot to do with attitude)
I wish you luck!
If you figure all this out please post the answer.
(Girls read body language really good, it doesn’t matter what your month is saying it has a lot to do with attitude)
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Greenmonsters
Wannabe Duck Boat Owner
Just a couple thoughts at this point in the thread.
What is a tough coach i.e., what makes them tough? Do you have to be tough to be effective?
For the OP:
IMO, no need to formally recognize the "extra" effort of your 3 Wed practicers - positive feedback at the time and the results are reward enough
If Coaches 1 and 2 say that Wed practice is mandatory, but there are no repercusions (positive or negative) for those who do/don't attend, what's the point? All coaches should have defined roles and outwardly send a consistent message to the team as determined by the Head Coach, but this should evolve on the basis of coach-only meetings/discussions should be on-going with input from all re goals/strengths/weaknesses/planning/criticisms.
How serious is your team? What are the player's (not the coaches') goals? It is always difficult when the goals aren't aligned i.e., some are perfectly happy being successful at rec while others will more fully commit to putting in more time and effort to be successful at the next level(s). You're DD will be happiest if she finds a team whose players have similar goals and, then as a coach, you need to adjust your coaching to help them meet those goals.
What is a tough coach i.e., what makes them tough? Do you have to be tough to be effective?
For the OP:
IMO, no need to formally recognize the "extra" effort of your 3 Wed practicers - positive feedback at the time and the results are reward enough
If Coaches 1 and 2 say that Wed practice is mandatory, but there are no repercusions (positive or negative) for those who do/don't attend, what's the point? All coaches should have defined roles and outwardly send a consistent message to the team as determined by the Head Coach, but this should evolve on the basis of coach-only meetings/discussions should be on-going with input from all re goals/strengths/weaknesses/planning/criticisms.
How serious is your team? What are the player's (not the coaches') goals? It is always difficult when the goals aren't aligned i.e., some are perfectly happy being successful at rec while others will more fully commit to putting in more time and effort to be successful at the next level(s). You're DD will be happiest if she finds a team whose players have similar goals and, then as a coach, you need to adjust your coaching to help them meet those goals.
- Jun 24, 2013
- 427
- 0
Congrats on seeking help. If you help yourself you help the team.
#1 Make yourself a better coach by learning and making sure you are teaching the correct fundamentals. Softball and baseball have differences, learn them and teach the right ways. When the DW and I started coaching we bought the USA Softball DVD series and made ourselves better coaches. We made sure what we were teaching was the right thing. We plan on adding the NECC DVD this year for our catchers instruction to get better. We also attended several camps to make ourselves better.
#2 Learn the rules. I also immersed myself in more alphabet soup rule and case study books than I care to mention. Learning the rules has also kept me from being "that" coach who questions the umps. It has also allowed me to cool down the parents by explaining the rules to them. Makes for a lot less ump drama from the peanut gallery.
3# Learn to criticize the error in mechanics and not the girl. If all you say is "Sally, why did you throw that ball too high for the 1B?", Sally hears that she sucks and can't throw. If you notice she had a flaw in her mechanics that caused the throw to sail high, then you point that out and work on changing that. Instead try "Great hustle getting to the ball and controlling the ball. Way to not let it get past you. That throw to first went kind of high didn't it? I noticed that you are holding the ball in towards you when you throw, when someone does that the throws tend to go high. Now normally with your athletic ability you are able to compensate and make that throw, but let me show you how to make it easier on you. Turn the ball like this (Show her the correct way to throw) and your balls will be on target more often and you will be even faster than you are now. We'll work on this in practice OK? Nice stop out there.". I also believe in the good-bad-good sandwich.
#4 Give them an opportunity to take out some frustration on you. Things we have done include practice throwing by hurling water balloons at the coaches, renting a dunk tank, pie fights, water gun fights, etc. Make it fun and not always about SB. Find some fun/competitive drills that incorporate some of the skills you want to teach. We ususally try to end practice on a fun note with some kind of game. I bet if you told them that if they give you 100% tonight then at the next (optional) practice they get to throw water ballons at you, you will see some pretty focused girls! If you make it at the next optional practice you might get a higher participation rate!
#5 Rule out underlying issues. Sometimes stuff happens outside of SB that has an effect on them. Try to find it out before issuing punishment, correction or criticism. I once had my best hitter in a slump in a championship game. She was making all kinds of errors in the field as well. Seems mom and dad had decided the best time to tell her they were getting divorced was right before the game. Had I not pulled her aside in private and found out what was happening and just yelled at her for her "lack of performance" I would have been addressing the wrong issue. I also would have been a complete donkey. Luckily "yelling" is not my style. There were other times where the issues were not as serious, but had a serious effect on the girls.
#1 Make yourself a better coach by learning and making sure you are teaching the correct fundamentals. Softball and baseball have differences, learn them and teach the right ways. When the DW and I started coaching we bought the USA Softball DVD series and made ourselves better coaches. We made sure what we were teaching was the right thing. We plan on adding the NECC DVD this year for our catchers instruction to get better. We also attended several camps to make ourselves better.
#2 Learn the rules. I also immersed myself in more alphabet soup rule and case study books than I care to mention. Learning the rules has also kept me from being "that" coach who questions the umps. It has also allowed me to cool down the parents by explaining the rules to them. Makes for a lot less ump drama from the peanut gallery.
3# Learn to criticize the error in mechanics and not the girl. If all you say is "Sally, why did you throw that ball too high for the 1B?", Sally hears that she sucks and can't throw. If you notice she had a flaw in her mechanics that caused the throw to sail high, then you point that out and work on changing that. Instead try "Great hustle getting to the ball and controlling the ball. Way to not let it get past you. That throw to first went kind of high didn't it? I noticed that you are holding the ball in towards you when you throw, when someone does that the throws tend to go high. Now normally with your athletic ability you are able to compensate and make that throw, but let me show you how to make it easier on you. Turn the ball like this (Show her the correct way to throw) and your balls will be on target more often and you will be even faster than you are now. We'll work on this in practice OK? Nice stop out there.". I also believe in the good-bad-good sandwich.
#4 Give them an opportunity to take out some frustration on you. Things we have done include practice throwing by hurling water balloons at the coaches, renting a dunk tank, pie fights, water gun fights, etc. Make it fun and not always about SB. Find some fun/competitive drills that incorporate some of the skills you want to teach. We ususally try to end practice on a fun note with some kind of game. I bet if you told them that if they give you 100% tonight then at the next (optional) practice they get to throw water ballons at you, you will see some pretty focused girls! If you make it at the next optional practice you might get a higher participation rate!
#5 Rule out underlying issues. Sometimes stuff happens outside of SB that has an effect on them. Try to find it out before issuing punishment, correction or criticism. I once had my best hitter in a slump in a championship game. She was making all kinds of errors in the field as well. Seems mom and dad had decided the best time to tell her they were getting divorced was right before the game. Had I not pulled her aside in private and found out what was happening and just yelled at her for her "lack of performance" I would have been addressing the wrong issue. I also would have been a complete donkey. Luckily "yelling" is not my style. There were other times where the issues were not as serious, but had a serious effect on the girls.
- Jul 17, 2012
- 1,091
- 38
Just read through the thread. A lot of great advice. What I notice is your reference as wanting to be "tough". I know what you mean by tough..... but if they are crying, and they are resisting your coaching effort, then that "tough" mentality may very well be intimidating to them. You may not be meaning to intimidate them....but you may just have that "look" about you....and you may carry it in your body language. The post about earning their trust is the one that caught my attention. That is my FIRST goal when I am going to be coaching a player that doesn't know me. Get on their level. Joke around with them. They need to see you as a GREAT GUY. Do some drills where the coaches play with them. Make a mistake....and do some push ups yourself. Once you build their trust, and they see you as that GREAT GUY, they'll run through a brick wall for you. Funny story.....during the summer at the end of practice when we were talking about what we learned that day....I ended it with "PNMAF"...they were all like Huh? I said you guys dont know what that means? Practice Next Monday At Five....... TTYL....
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Some more excellent advice guys, Thanks.
This Wednesday was going to be a new approach from me, but we cancelled since everyone wanted to prep for Thanksgiving.
This coming Wednesday is my DD's birthday so I am arranging a surprise cake and pizza for her the girls.
This thread has helped tremendously and I can't thank you all enough for what you have written and suggested.
This Wednesday was going to be a new approach from me, but we cancelled since everyone wanted to prep for Thanksgiving.
This coming Wednesday is my DD's birthday so I am arranging a surprise cake and pizza for her the girls.
This thread has helped tremendously and I can't thank you all enough for what you have written and suggested.
I will always do something foolish in order to let them know its ok to have fun. Ill break into dance or singing to make a point as well.
I think its a delivery thing with my tone and my posture. I believe it intimidates them. It worked with boys, but has the adverse reaction with girls.
This thread reminded me of my first team meeting with my daughters 8u team, I began it by asking the girls "what does this mean?" I then went thru an overly long and fast sequence of third base coach signs that a major leaguer would have trouble keeping up with. I received confused looks on 13 players faces and @ 26 parents faces lol -I then explained it was the hit and run sign and went on to basically explain what hit and run meant. After everyone was totally confused I explained that we had a lot in common, I was going to teach them stuff that they have no clue about BUT they were going to have to also teach me about stuff that I have no clue about....like GIRLS After the laughing stopped, I explained that I could be talking to my daughter or my wife and one minute everything is fine then like magic in one second or one word or look on my face and I could be in trouble with one or both of them for a month. So I explained that I needed them to teach me if I was doing something that hurt their feelings or was making them mad etc. I also understood if they are like my girls then they wouldn't tell and I won't figure it out on my own. So right then I made them come up with a "sign" that they could flash to me if and when I was hurting their or someone else's feelings. They decided on twisting their ear and sticking out their tongue at me. Lol
I am happy to admit I only received four "signals" before the end of the first practice lol!
After coaching only boys I never thought I would say this but these girls are a ton more fun to coach but IMO definitely different than coaching boys (thankfully lol)
I am happy to admit I only received four "signals" before the end of the first practice lol!
After coaching only boys I never thought I would say this but these girls are a ton more fun to coach but IMO definitely different than coaching boys (thankfully lol)
I have to say that all of this advice really helped.
We finished up our Fall season and I have to say that I really learned alot about these girls, their behavior, and the heart they have. They also in turn learned alot about me and what I expect and my coaching style. The girls with whom I worked most closely with(the ones who cried a few times), it was a huge difference on the ballfield and I couldnt be happier to see their sheer joy when making catches and plays they were struggling with prior.
Thank you so much to the board members for their advice on the subject.....HUGE HELP. Thanks
We finished up our Fall season and I have to say that I really learned alot about these girls, their behavior, and the heart they have. They also in turn learned alot about me and what I expect and my coaching style. The girls with whom I worked most closely with(the ones who cried a few times), it was a huge difference on the ballfield and I couldnt be happier to see their sheer joy when making catches and plays they were struggling with prior.
Thank you so much to the board members for their advice on the subject.....HUGE HELP. Thanks
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