Ethics in the tryout season

[MsDinosaur]

I think it's more important for coaches to have loyalty to their previous players than vice-versa.

As a coach, I want my players to be in a situation that's good for them. I don't have a problem with any family that chooses to look for something better, assuming that they don't jump to another team in the middle of the season without warning. (That's never happened.) I hope for loyalty, but I don't think I'm entitled to it.

This is the way I feel too. I hadn't really thought about it. I guess it's not completely fair that I expect more from a coach than I expect to give in return, but I do. If DD hasn't said she isn't returning, I expect the coach to let us know where DD stands. However, even if she wants to stay, I expect to be able to take DD to other tryouts during tryout season without saying anything to the coach unless and until she took another offer.

 

[Greenmonsters]

For some perspective 1) How many prospective students apply to just one college? 2) How many coaches recruit no more players than for which they have roster openings?

Regardless, a little honesty on everybody's part goes a long way.

 

[crystlemc]

We absolutely loved the team our DD played on this season. The girls were great, the parents were fantastic, and the coaches were great guys. That being said, there was a coaching change, since half the girls moved up. We were a little leery about that, but figured, hey... we can deal. Then some other things were done and said by others in the organization that made us rethink things. Our DD has far different goals for herself that what the organization had for her particular team. We were honest about that, and informed the current coach, and incoming coach that she would not be returning. We wish them all the very best and will miss them terribly.

I think, when a team and a player's intended paths diverge, it's time to move on. I think it is silly to make it personal.

 

[Scl1991]

We never wanted to be team hoppers either, and always wanted to find a home. Like many others have said, there are true team hoppers out there and coaches are right to be wary of them. When we first moved to town we looked for a travel ball team to join. We didn't know the area at all and found one team. DD tried out and was offered a spot. 12U. Quickly we realized that this team was a vehicle for 3 dads -5 daughters among them- to play the kids all the time. Nice people though. The organization offered the chance to play thru 18u. After 2 summers, we moved on to a more competitive team and where playing time was a little more distributed (as did 4 other top skilled players. Big surprise- not one of those coaches' kids are still in the game, while all 5 players who moved on will be playing college ball). We nicely told the coaches that it just wasn't a good fit anymore. That left us with a good relationship with them all.
14u- more competitive team, even though two dads were coaching. The organization had teams thru 18u. Good instruction. We jad hoped to stay there forever. My daughter loved it and improved drastically. Too much in fact. After 1 year, it became clear that she alone had dreams of college ball on that team and she needed a more competitive environment. She tried out for a well known established organization, with a history of college placement, and went there. Told the coaches that we had to move on to a team that better matched her goals. They understood and are some of her biggest cheerleaders today, 3 years down the road.
16u- at the new organization. My DD played several positions and pitched too. Was about their top hitter. Played fall and spring and into summer for them. The she got hurt and had to sit out a lot that summer. When August tryouts came around, some of her friends on that team left the organization. Others moved up to 18u. DD got left on 16u because they needed pitching. New coaches took over and they, honestly, creeped me oyt a littke. Had no idea who they were. After injury, she didn't want to pitch anymore, was not happy at all, so we told them she needed to step away for awhile. She guest played with some teams that fall.
By the next summer, she was playing up on an 18u team with history of college placements. I didn't love the new coach at all, but he had a history of success. Had we found a home? No. Coach was an overbearing tyrant who loved 9 starters and the rest- he made their lives miserable. He picked up good players and they got themslves placed in college, in spite of him. And there was NO instruction. None. So, do we stay on a team that is negative, where DD wouldn't play or learn? So we moved on... Told coach it wasn't a good fit for her. He wished us the best but think all involved were relieved.
Gold level- she tried out and got offered a spot on two gold teams. Either one was a great option. She chose one. She has played, learned and improved. We have kept in touch with the other gold team coach and he has also been supportive of my daughter. She Has been with her team for a year and will play another year until she goes off to play DI ball next fall.
We never wanted to change teams like we dud, but situations arose. We had to do hat was best for her. We always left at the end of a season, and always in an honest and professional manner. And it works out. Just trust your gut..

 

[PGSAKen]

Not every style, coach, team, philosophy is going to be a good fit. One must find a culture that they thrive and grow in. If they do not then FIND ONE!

We can not take any of this personal. if we are the right fit and we are fullfilling our obligations to the girls and parents (and vice versa) then the families will stay. If its not a good fit then they will leave.

I see the same coaches whining about losing players every year. Then there are some of us that dont even have to hold tryouts. Actions speak louder than words in this situation.......

Some will never understand the culture and player retention aspect of this or any game (let alone life)....thats just life.

 

[Coach_Paul]

I don't expect loyalty. A player and parents must do what's best for their situation. If it's more playing time, better development, less (or more) travel, better recruiting opportunities, find it.

I would rather a player leave and be successful on another team, than stay on my team and be unhappy. Find the right fit and commit 100%.

 

[Gbucz]

We have tried numerous times to find a home but have been screwed by unscrupulous managers and coaches. We thought we had a great chance twice: once the assistant coach (DD pitcher threatened by my DD talent) emailed us that they didn't need my DD next year after she tried out and was told not to look anywhere else and another coach held out until the last TB tryouts were complete to offer her a spot on their new developmental team(they need a good pitcher). The girls are cattle to many of them.

We treat it like restricted free agency - we tell the current coaches we are trying out in case they decide to cut her. We tell the potential new coaches tat she'll stay put unless she is cut. Some appreciate the honesty and offer her tourney spots if she has open weekends. Others are irritated that she wasted their time being evaluated. Too bad for those coaches.

 

[glf0845]

Being the new kid on a team is difficult so there is usually a good reason when changing teams. Parents want what is best for their kid and coaches want what is best for their team. Sometimes that "best" is not the same. We never wanted our DD to be the best or worst on any team. Most coaches know when a player has outgrown their team or is not happy and are not surprised when that player moves on. We have tried to maintain good relationships with former coaches. You never know when they can help or hurt with the next step.

 

[GTRH8R]

Loyalty? I've yet to see it (hopefully we will on her new team). Been through a couple of teams. One org combined two teams so the person who runs the org could play because her team collapsed, so he took his remaining players and three from DD's team and jettisoned the rest even though they all had committed to coming back and playing. Last minute scramble to find a team. Wound up with a good org and a coach who couldn't hit loyalty if it were a 1000 foot wide wall and he was shooting a BB gun. Moved on once again and believe we have found a good fit with a guy that seems loyal to the girls that play for him. We shall see.

I think it is one thing when you have a loyal coach, I could see where there might be some feeling of betrayal. However, unloyal coach expected the girls to be 100% loyal when he showed little to none back. It's all about the unloyal coach and his/her desire to fill the ego of winning with disposable players who are thrown to the curb when somebody better comes along.

To me, if DD is getting what she needs as a player and the coach is loyal then it is a no braniner to be as loyal as they come. If that is not the case then it is more beneficial (for both sides) to find different avenues to achieve success. It is not an ethical issue - it is a practical decision based on the situation.

In either event, parents and coaches should be honest about what is going on.

 

[EP Dad]

Having been new to club ball this season we became confused at the end of the year. Instead of offering us a spot on next years team the team just sent us an email with the tryout schedule. Even when we talked to the folks that run the organization they would give us no straight answer on our kids future. Since that seemed to put our future in limbo we tried out for a number of teams and ultimately did find a home on a different team.

I would have much preferred just to stay with the known qty then start all over again. Loyalty is a two way street.