Daddy Ball

[Jojo]

We found another team.

Hate to say it but, yeah.

I had a 9yr old last year that only received 3 innings of pitching time over the entire spring season, and every inning she pitched she pitched well. But daddy coach would make no moves about giving her more time even after his own DD hit 6 batters in a row one game.
Her mother and I talked and decided that the league where she played was all daddy ball. It wasn't going to change and those same coaches were going to be the coaches again this year and nothing was going to change.
So she signed her DD in the neighboring league, much bigger organization, from 4 teams in her old league to 9 teams in this one. She's the only pitcher on the team (the head coach DD's was actually a pitcher but is out with an injury), she pitched every game in the pre-season tourney and came in 2nd. Only losses were to the #1 team, season has started, she's undefeated including beating the #1 team.

It took a move, and she's a fantastic pitcher for it, not just from getting more mound time, but emotionally as well.

 

[FastPitchCat]

I'm not sure what you mean by being "fair"? Is it fair to the team to give exact equal playing time to all the players and have every single player bat in every position in the line-up no matter what? A kid that never pitched, is it fair to the team to put her in the circle to the detriment of the teams ability to be competitive.

I think there is a balance between giving the individual player opportunities and giving the team an opportunity to play at a competitive level.

Again, I have seen some blatant daddy ball and its a shame that it sometimes happens but I look at the teams that my DD has been associated with and many times the coaches have it right. The kids in the key positions have worked hard to play those positions and are the more skilled players. Is it "fair" to these players to give equal playing time to kids that miss practices and don't put in the effort to be skilled at their desired position?

Rocket - i can see where you're coming from and i agree that those who miss practice and don't do well in the field should NOT be given more play time. but what happens when those players who do that are the coach's DD's? they don't ever MISS ANY PLAYTIME.
FAIR?

 

[FastPitchCat]

Hate to say it but, yeah.

It took a move, and she's a fantastic pitcher for it, not just from getting more mound time, but emotionally as well.

JJ, this is something i haven't really seen much into, and thank you for bringing it up.
the emotional scars are much harder to heal.

As i've said, it's early in the season.

I'll see if promises come to fruition or end up as lip service.

 

[canyonjoe]

Here's a positive daddy story. I went to my DS little league practice last night. It's the third one, but only the second one I've been to. I saw a kids make a good play and asked one of the other dads who that kid was and he gave his name and said he was the coaches son. To me that said a lot about the coach that I couldn't even tell which kid was his. We'll see how it plays out.

 

[toquin]

The mental aspect is one that's often ignored (I think). I've been on both sides of this equation as both a coach and a spectator and I'd like to think I tried my best to allow any players who put in the work the opportunity to play whatever position they worked for (providing it was safe for them and didn't completely make us uncompetitive). That being said, My DD has been on a team where the coaches DD would get the lionshare of playing time regardless of her work ethic or skill and it takes a great deal of mentoring to motivate them to keep plugging away regardless. My DD is now on the middle school team and still dealing with similar situations (asst coaches are fathers who also coach their DD's TB teams). My advice to her, when you get your chance make yourself so important to your team that the coaches would be idiots not to play you....

 

[Jojo]

My advice to her, when you get your chance make yourself so important to your team that the coaches would be idiots not to play you....

And prove to them how good you think you are. You have to drill this into kids heads these days, as nowadays kids are brought up to make excuses for their actions and not own up to them.
I had a high school player that was decent pitcher on her travel ball team but she was being black balled on her HS team by the coach due to her older sister having bad experiences with the coach and her dad causing trouble with the coach.

Every week when she would come to lessons I'd ask her if she practiced and she'd say, "No, why should I, she's not going to let me pitch". I would tell her that's exactly why she should practice, because if she ever wanted to prove you are a poor pitcher and put you on that mound to make an excuse as to why she won't put you out there, you HAVE to prove her wrong. Don't make her right about you. But the kid wouldn't listen and a few times over the season the coach put her in and she failed due to numerous excuses she came up with and her mental state.
The good news is that the dad did put her in a private school and she pitched her private school all the way to a state championship win, so again that mental area is a BIG BIG issue.

 

[Cobb_of_Fury]

Tell her to out work the coach's kid. The cream will rise to the top.

Amy - I wish this was always true - But sometimes the cream sinks and all that rises is the curdled milk.

 

[LeftiesDad]

The mental aspect is one that's often ignored (I think). ...My advice to her, when you get your chance make yourself so important to your team that the coaches would be idiots not to play you....

This can backfire as well. It puts unnecessary performance stress on the player. They become fearful of making a mistake because they know as soon as they do they get to sit on the bench. This is seen a lot in HS ball, causes a lot of great freshmen to falter. A better attitude IMHO is to "show them how much you love the game, play fearlessly" that is what it is all about anyway right?

 

[CoachKevin]

Rose colored glasses? where do you buy those things?
so what do you say when DD's HC who admitted to one person (not the entire team) that his DD is 1/2 a pitcher and that my DD works harder than his own? still rose colored? i think not.

kudos to those parents who volunteer as coaches with their time and effort. however as coaches, they also have their own list of rules that they have to abide by, just like the parents.

one of them is to remember to be FAIR to all the players in the team. if the team was built for the coach's DD's only, then go ahead and play ball with 3 or 4, which obviously will not work cause you need the other 5 or 6 players to complete the "TEAM". yes, some will sit on the bench, but give them the equal opportunity by rotating them. too hard to be "FAIR"?

hmmm... now that's interesting. DD's team had rules of conduct for parents, but i never read any rules for the coaches.

Wow, at the start of every year I have coached I have said what is expected from the Players, from the Parents and then what they can expect out of me.

 

[MandM]

she already has outworked HC's dd on the mound. last season, DD would have to come in during bases-loaded walks. she would let a run or two in but got thru the inning. DD would pitch in nasty weather and get the win. all that was noticed by the other non-coaching parents, but HC did nothing.

we'll see what happens this new season.

I heard a DJ on the radio this AM as I drove to work, talking to a caller about a problem. He gave the following analogy ..
"If you were in the middle of the road and you saw a bus coming, would you stay there and let it run you over, or would you jump out of the way?" No offense FPC, but it seems to me that you stayed in the road.

This is the second year for your DD on a team where, by your own observation, she is clearly the better pitcher but does not get mound time. If the stats support that fact (and you get 3 DFP demerits if you are a pitching parent and not tracking your DD stats BTW), what would make you think that the coach would change? Maybe you left your DD there because she was not ready to be a #1- but if your DD is to develop as a pitcher- she needs to pitch, and not just to come in and mop up someone else's mess.

I have had good experiences with a parent coach and bad experience with non-parent coach. Best experience is someone who is tracking performance, makes expectations known and is even handed when expectations are not met. This can be a parent or not- but as your DD's parent- it is YOUR job to do the homework to find out what the coach's style is, and make sure you are clear on how decisions are made by the coach on the team- It is clear that this coach is not meeting their commitment to you (or you didn't ask?). I think your DD would benefit most (as a pitcher and a player) by being treated fairly, even if it means finding a new team. In the long run, your DD will be happier and her development as a player will be better. Just my 2 cents. My DD is 16 and a sophomore in HS, hence "a lotta water under the bridge, Mr. Rick"