What ever happened to Courtesy & Respect?

[fastpitch5]

My experience has been that a lot of people try to make someone leaving a team into more of an issue than it really is. Just because an athlete decides to move to another team doesn't necessarily mean she dislikes or has any issues with anyone on her previous team. She wanted to move on for any number of reasons. I don't see why this barrier has to be thrown up...the girls can continue to be friends. I think parents tend to make it more of a big deal than it really is in some cases.

In this case, it is tryout season. Select sports are generally 1 year commitments. Some teams have a lot of turnover, some don't. I don't think the family had any obligation to tell the coaching staff what was going on until they had all of their ducks in a row. The exception would be if they all ready committed for the next season.

This year, my son's coach said no spots are guaranteed and everyone must try out. No problem...we tried out for this team, and several others. Took an offer from another team. It works both ways.

 

[marriard]

\ I don't think the family had any obligation to tell the coaching staff what was going on until they had all of their ducks in a row. The exception would be if they all ready committed for the next season.

This is my opinion as well. Many coaches - actually lets call it as it is - MOST coaches - if told a player is looking for another team or is playing for someone else next season will start treating that player differently including if they end up staying with the team (because you KNOW that player could leave any time for another team as they have expressed they will but couldn't find anything LAST time). My DD was leaving at the end of the season a few seasons ago and the coaches knew it - it effected her game time as they wanted to develop replacements for when she left.

This year, my son's coach said no spots are guaranteed and everyone must try out. No problem...we tried out for this team, and several others. Took an offer from another team. It works both ways.

Absolutely agree with this as well. If you say it is open, then it open. If you don't mean it - or don't mean to for some players - then tell them privately. Know a team who is about to lose 3 girls because of this. Players have options and good players have most of the power when it comes to who they play for. Also good players follow other good players to teams.

I say the same thing to everyone - the only players I can absolutely control who they play for is the one who lives in my house. And the same goes for everyone else.

 

[CoogansBluff]

In this case, it is tryout season. Select sports are generally 1 year commitments. Some teams have a lot of turnover, some don't. I don't think the family had any obligation to tell the coaching staff what was going on until they had all of their ducks in a row.

The title of the thread is not obligation. It's courtesy and respect. Big difference.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Many coaches - actually lets call it as it is - MOST coaches - if told a player is looking for another team or is playing for someone else next season will start treating that player differently including if they end up staying with the team

Not sure that I can agree.

First of all, we're not talking about a case of telling a coach that the player will be leaving next season. Or that she'll be leaving at all. It's a case of telling a coach that the family is looking at options. Might leave, might stay. Just going to tryouts. It's tryout season.

Why, as a coach, would I penalize that player if I wanted to keep her?

IMO, if there's a tournament on the schedule that you don't plan to make, I think you owe the coach to tell him as soon as you know so that he can plan. Not talking about next season, but the season that you're playing. If the coach has sent you a schedule, there is an understanding that you are playing. If you're not and the coach doesn't know it, then you are responsible for that misunderstanding.

 

[Classof2020]

I think the point that some of us are making is that we don't believe it is discourteous or disrespectful to move on in a careful manner. And the facts that were laid out didn't sound like the people who left did it in a harsh way.

 

[CatchTheFever]

Classof2020

Do you two know each other?

Not at all. At least that I'm aware of

 

[CatchTheFever]

I think the point that some of us are making is that we don't believe it is discourteous or disrespectful to move on in a careful manner. And the facts that were laid out didn't sound like the people who left did it in a harsh way.

Fair enough, there are plenty of other facts that I didn't take the time to write that played a part in the leave seeming shady. particularly from one of the families.

 

[Rocketech1]

Well, we finally experienced some drama as 2 of the girls unexpectedly switched teams this past weekend.....I just don't understand why everyone feels the need to be so sneaky and misleading in girls TB, especially at this age group.

If you think this is drama you apparently haven't been around too many youth sport teams. After a year with this team, two families decided to look at other opportunities for their DDs and decided that this was a good time to leave, being fall developmental season anyways. I really don't see this as drama at all. Drama would be if they were unhappy, decided to stay one more year and complained excessively every tournament, and was a disruption to the team. What you described seems very mild to me and didn't show disrespect or a lack of courtesy to the coach. In fact these two families may have been unhappy for months but as you said no one knew otherwise and they were not a cancer to this team, maybe you should give them some credit. In the long run your current team will be better off without them and maybe its a blessing in disguise. You could land a few extra players that may be a better fit for your team. There is lots of player turnover in travel ball so you need to get used to it. This won't be the last time a player leaves your team, but on the flip side you may get a solid player that decides to leave their current team and join yours. It's up to the coaches to develop a program where players don't feel they need to leave. Good luck this season, your team will be fine.

 

[PGSAKen]

Fair enough, there are plenty of other facts that I didn't take the time to write that played a part in the leave seeming shady. particularly from one of the families.

Sounds like they did you a favor. if they didnt want to be there I am sure the other girls knew and felt it. I bet your atmosphere is better next practice.

 

[Txwalt]

I agree with 29Dad. Kids leaving for another team is the norm. Coaches will rarely know its coming. When i was a tb parent i didnt think anything of it. HC always seem to handle it well. Had a AC leave. Then 3 or 4 girls defected and the parents started a new team. Left us real shorthanded for a bit. My dd left the team before tryouts for the upcoming season. I called the coach and we had a civil conversation.