What ever happened to Courtesy & Respect?

[Classof2020]

New maybe but not naive. It was mentioned earlier that not every team has the same schedule, goals, routine, etc. I am aware that after Nationals, many teams begin to transition to the next level, etc. In our case, there wasn't a particular season or a need for one. There are tournaments year round here.

There obviously is need for one. Because this wonderful happy family obviously wasn't perfect for everyone, but it sounds like the people leaving tried to do so in a way that didn't cause huge waves on the way out. Instead of saying that the AC was lying maybe people should think about the alternative which would be for her to announce that the coaching team was dividing and cause an uproar and lots of unrest which could have imploded the whole team. You probably wouldn't have any team left if people would have begun sharing that they were leaving in 6 weeks, and so was the 3rd baseman's family.

 

[11smom]

We had a similar situation last year. We lost a couple of girls, and one of them was totally unexpected. Again, as someone said, it most likely was the parents' choice and not the girls, and I have mixed feelings about this. Sometimes there are reasons to leave a team and find the right fit for your family, but the "grass is always greener" attitude is one that we discuss with our dd, and hopefully instill in her that commitment and dedication are important traits to have. The thing that hurt us most on our team was the way these folks left us, without notice or letting the girls say goodbye. They were very hurt.
That being said, talent can be replaced. You might just end up being better off in the long run.

 

[Classof2020]

Ok can we now discuss the idea in a few of the above posts where people say "it was the parent's choice and not the girls". At the 10U and 12U age group who lets their kids decide if they want to brush their teeth, take a shower, what time they go to bed, what school they go to, whether they will do their homework, etc. So why would it be solely up to the player what team they would play on? Wouldn't the parent guide that decision and ultimately make that decision if necessary. Since they will be paying for that decision, driving them, hanging out with those parents, putting up with those coaches, and last and most importantly expecting that team to help their child reach the next level of softball based on that decision. How is a 9 year old supposed to know what is the best decision for their future?

 

[SoftSocDad]

I've been on this forum a few years now. One common mantra among many (not all) is that you have to do what you feel is best for your DD, regardless of timing or how anyone else might be impacted by your decision. It's not so black-and-white for me, but many softball parents do feel that way, so you need to be aware of that.

If tryouts are going on now, then now is the time to look at options and possibly make a move.

It sounds like two of the better players on this team left to go join a team they feel looks stronger on paper and now one of the parents who was left behind is upset. This sounds very much like what happens when a strong player leaves rec to go play TB instead.

 

[canyonjoe]

I will caution parents not to leave a good situation. We had a player leave in the winter because the family couldn't handle the distance to practice. Great kid and Dad. We saw them at several tourneys in the summer and you could see how much the kid wished she was on our team. To be fair we wished the same. As far as asking the kids what they want, they have to have a say in it. If you have a kid that wants to play SS but the team has 2 studs ahead of them, it becomes a question "would you rather play 2b here or try and find a team you can play SS on". It's a tough decision, but from what I've seen on this board, most parents really want the kids to enjoy themselves.

 

[11smom]

Ok can we now discuss the idea in a few of the above posts where people say "it was the parent's choice and not the girls". At the 10U and 12U age group who lets their kids decide if they want to brush their teeth, take a shower, what time they go to bed, what school they go to, whether they will do their homework, etc. So why would it be solely up to the player what team they would play on? Wouldn't the parent guide that decision and ultimately make that decision if necessary. Since they will be paying for that decision, driving them, hanging out with those parents, putting up with those coaches, and last and most importantly expecting that team to help their child reach the next level of softball based on that decision. How is a 9 year old supposed to know what is the best decision for their future?

I understand completely what you are saying, as I am one of those parents who is driven nuts by parents just being their kids' friends and giving them too much freedom and being afraid to be the parent.
My take on this, though, as least in our team's case, is that SOME parents are way overboard trying for that "better opportunity, next level" for their dds, and their egos are what is driving them. Our girls did not want to leave our team, but were convinced by their parents that their entire college future was at stake! (they were 7th and 8th graders) In reality, if my dd is happy playing for team "A", and is developing her skills, and HAVING FUN, than I am not going to mess with that. Opportunities have come up for my dd that we have discussed and weighed as a family, and while we take into account her feelings, we, her parents do make the ultimate decision. We think that sports, and being part of a "team" teaches great lessons for life. Working through challenges and commitment being two of those lessons.

 

[CatchTheFever]

It sounds like two of the better players on this team left to go join a team they feel looks stronger on paper and now one of the parents who was left behind is upset. .

Not really the case at all. Too be honest, many of the other parents and coaches had tighter relationships with the families. The girls are replaceable although one of the girls was probably our best overall player. The only purpose for my post is that I feel people should be more considerate of others and the impact their actions can have on others. Personally, if my daughter is ever going to change teams (I'm sure it'll happen someday on some team), then I will be as upfront and forward to the coaches as possible. That's just how I feel this stuff should be handled.

 

[PGSAKen]

I understand completely what you are saying, as I am one of those parents who is driven nuts by parents just being their kids' friends and giving them too much freedom and being afraid to be the parent.
My take on this, though, as least in our team's case, is that SOME parents are way overboard trying for that "better opportunity, next level" for their dds, and their egos are what is driving them. Our girls did not want to leave our team, but were convinced by their parents that their entire college future was at stake! (they were 7th and 8th graders) In reality, if my dd is happy playing for team "A", and is developing her skills, and HAVING FUN, than I am not going to mess with that. Opportunities have come up for my dd that we have discussed and weighed as a family, and while we take into account her feelings, we, her parents do make the ultimate decision. We think that sports, and being part of a "team" teaches great lessons for life. Working through challenges and commitment being two of those lessons.

This usually doesnt happen till the parents 2nd time through the "process" (second child). Alot is learned the hard way on the parents part the first time around if they dont have anything to refer to.

 

[PGSAKen]

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Originally Posted by CatchTheFever
New maybe but not naive. It was mentioned earlier that not every team has the same schedule, goals, routine, etc. I am aware that after Nationals, many teams begin to transition to the next level, etc. In our case, there wasn't a particular season or a need for one. There are tournaments year round here.
There obviously is need for one. Because this wonderful happy family obviously wasn't perfect for everyone, but it sounds like the people leaving tried to do so in a way that didn't cause huge waves on the way out. Instead of saying that the AC was lying maybe people should think about the alternative which would be for her to announce that the coaching team was dividing and cause an uproar and lots of unrest which could have imploded the whole team. You probably wouldn't have any team left if people would have begun sharing that they were leaving in 6 weeks, and so was the 3rd baseman's family.


Do you two know each other?

 

[29dad]

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Originally Posted by CatchTheFever
New maybe but not naive. It was mentioned earlier that not every team has the same schedule, goals, routine, etc. I am aware that after Nationals, many teams begin to transition to the next level, etc. In our case, there wasn't a particular season or a need for one. There are tournaments year round here.
There obviously is need for one. Because this wonderful happy family obviously wasn't perfect for everyone, but it sounds like the people leaving tried to do so in a way that didn't cause huge waves on the way out. Instead of saying that the AC was lying maybe people should think about the alternative which would be for her to announce that the coaching team was dividing and cause an uproar and lots of unrest which could have imploded the whole team. You probably wouldn't have any team left if people would have begun sharing that they were leaving in 6 weeks, and so was the 3rd baseman's family.


Do you two know each other?

I must be missing something (I'm not terribly bright) because I have no idea what this post means.