What ever happened to Courtesy & Respect?

[29dad]

Whether it be a friendship, marriage, girlfriend, business relationship etc. There are two ways you can conduct yourself when you want to make a change

1) You can look out for your own interests at all costs and conduct yourself in a way that you think preserves your own self interests best.
2) You can factor other people in and give some measure to their interests and how your decision may affect them and act accordingly.

From your response I imagine that we just have different paradigms and you are comfortable with 1. I prefer 2. So in this sense we agree to disagree and both opinions are equal...but which one seems like the "right thing to do" regardless of what is "accepted" because there is a lot that is "accepted" and completely friggin wrong these days.

You are seriously trying to equate changing teams IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE SEASON with looking out for your own interests at all costs??

 

[Greenmonsters]

Just because the team was a good fit for the OP's DD, it doesn't mean that necessarily was the case for all the other players. Would I be wrong if I guessed that the 2 players that left were competing for playing time at positions played by the coaches' kids or coaches' kids BFFs?

IMO when you commit to a TB team, its for 1 season/year. A team announcing what players will be retained or players making known their intention to move on before the end of the commitment can be very disruptive and divisive. At the end of that 1 year commitment, BOTH the player and team are free and entitled to re-assess the fit and re-sign for another year or part ways for whatever reason. IME, this can be handled maturely by both parties so that future options remain and no bridges are burned. Handled poorly by either side, it will become a hot topic of conversation/gossip in the local FP universe and/or memorialized here on DFP.

 

[CatchTheFever]

Just because the team was a good fit for the OP's DD, it doesn't mean that necessarily was the case for all the other players. Would I be wrong if I guessed that the 2 players that left were competing for playing time at positions played by the coaches' kids or coaches' kids BFFs?

.

Yes & no. One of the girls was our #1 pitcher and starting 3rd baseman when not pitching. She always batted 3 or 4 in the lineup. The other was actually the backup catcher and starting 3B when the other was pitching. She usually batted around 5 in the lineup.
I could see them possibly wanting her to be the # 1 catcher but to be honest, she was probably the 3rd best catcher on the team.
All of these girls were basically BFF's. They literally all were very close.

 

[CatchTheFever]

It doesn't sound to me like these people did anything wrong if they informed the coaches in mid August right after the last tournament they would be playing in. From what I've seen with friends with older daughters this is a normal part of TB.

The month shouldn't matter. There wasn't a start or end date, just commitments from a group of families that seemed to be close nit. And remember, one of these parents was the AC until about a month ago and she lied about the reason she stopped coaching.

 

[29dad]

The month shouldn't matter. There wasn't a start or end date, just commitments from a group of families that seemed to be close nit.

You really ARE brand new to TB, aren't you??

 

[JJsqueeze]

You are seriously trying to equate changing teams IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE SEASON with looking out for your own interests at all costs??

No, but I am SERIOUSLY equating not informing people who are affected by your decisions of your intent as looking out for your own self interest...once again it has nothing to do with changing teams, it is about treating the people around you with respect and communicating well.

I was forced to layoff a guy on my staff once and I was told by upper management that "he cannot know until the day of the dismissal", this is also "normal" and acceptable these days. But I still took him out for beers a week early and told him to his face what was going to happen so he could prepare. It was a risk and it was not comfortable, and it was very unacceptable behavior on my part. It was still the right thing to do.

 

[PGSAKen]

You really ARE brand new to TB, aren't you??

We all were once. I wish there was a universal rule and orientation video

 

[CatchTheFever]

You really ARE brand new to TB, aren't you??

New maybe but not naive. It was mentioned earlier that not every team has the same schedule, goals, routine, etc. I am aware that after Nationals, many teams begin to transition to the next level, etc. In our case, there wasn't a particular season or a need for one. There are tournaments year round here.

 

[MsDinosaur]

We all were once. I wish there was a universal rule and orientation video

There should be, Ken. Think of all the mistakes, bad feelings and frustration that could be avoided! ;-)

 

[MsDinosaur]

The month shouldn't matter. There wasn't a start or end date, just commitments from a group of families that seemed to be close nit. And remember, one of these parents was the AC until about a month ago and she lied about the reason she stopped coaching.

It's natural to mourn and be a bit angry and disappointed. Having a team full of friends and a close knit group of families is a gift that doesn't happen every day. Hopefully you can all move on and eventually remember only the good things about the folks who left. Some day it may be your daughter's turn to go too and IMO the way your team doesn't have a clear break in the season would make it difficult to find the "right" time to leave. Perhaps this is something the coaches need to address going forward.