What ever happened to Courtesy & Respect?

[chinamigarden]

Wait until someone starts telling the people in your org that you are moving your dd to another team. Even though you never even had that thought. Or when someone tells the board that your house is being foreclosed and you are moving. Even though there was never a mortgage payment late.

Yep I had both of these happen. Having people leave the te in August is the least of your concerns when it comes to the politics of softball.

 

[SCDad]

I hear ya. It is amazing how fast your DD goes from a starter to the bench. That is why I caution the young 12U parents. They ain't seen nothing yet.

 

[MsDinosaur]

It still surprises me how many people insist on disagreeing with me when I am so clearly consistently correct on all matters of opinion and musical taste.....on that note....I still say "90% of the best rock n roll was in the seventies...and all Rock n Roll from the year 2000 on absolutely sucks"....to quote Bill Hicks..."this is a fact....I can prove it on an Etch a Sketch"

The best rock and roll was clearly in the 70's!

DD insists on listening to this modern dreck instead. Blah, blah, blah. Every now and then I'll think something's ok, but most of it is one dreary, whiny monotone after another with no noticeable background rhythm. It reminds me of what songs from the 50's and early 60's sounded like before the British Invasion. (I took down my shower radio after the one Oldies station it received wouldn't stop playing "This Diamond Ring Doesn't Shine For Me Anymore" every stinking morning.) This new stuff is so boring. Where's the beat??? Disclaimer: I had to come to work early this morning. It is possible that I am grumpier than usual.

 

[cmustangsfp]

So let me pose this situation. If you "commit" to a team for a year and find out that after you have joined and paid the fees that you were lied to, the team misrepresented themselves, there is incredible amounts of daddy-ball (including AC DD's daddy ball), the coach wasn't very knowledgeable in teaching the girls how to better their skills or in softball in general (made lots of base running errors, expected the girls to already know "everything" so he wouldn't teach correction), the players and parents were very cliquish (meaning if your DD was better than their's, then you and your DD were kept out of the "club"), the atmosphere on game days was toxic with parents bad mouthing the coaching decisions behind his back but too afraid to say anything to the HC for fear of being kicked off the only TB team in the area, etc, etc that you would leave your DD in such a mess because "we commited for a year"????????
Please, if you found yourselves in that situation most of you would leave in a heartbeat. Now I am not saying that you walk out in the middle of a tourney, but after the tourney you approach the coach a couple of days later and inform them that you are leaving the team. I noticed afterwards that the team was full of mediocre players because the parents felt better about themselves because their DD's were not "rec ball" players anymore, they were TB players. Well their DD's were on a TB team anyways.
Sometimes you leave a team because you can see the dysfunction and do not want to be a part of it anymore. We were with one org and the daddyball and ACball became more apparent as the season progressed, finally boiling over in one tourney and we decided that we had enough reason to leave the team. Sometimes teams are very good at hiding dysfunction, but then when you pull the curtain back or circle back to the huddle when the other parents think you went to the snack bar, you find out some disturbing things. I notice that this becomes more of a problem the better your DD becomes. For those of you that have found that "perfect" TB team, congratulations. I had to build my own team before finding that team. I have learned many lessons from those bad teams that I avoid in my current teams.

 

[CoogansBluff]

you would leave your DD in such a mess because "we commited for a year"????????

Of course, there are times when it is appropriate to leave in mid-season. I and others are simplifying things when we say 'keep your commitment'. That's really another thread - When is it appropriate to break a commitment? There are times when you have to go. If a coach says he'll bat the full roster every game, then sits your DD out all weekend, that would be an example.

But if you do have to break a commitment, there are respectful and courteous ways of doing it. The example given here - a 10-player team that loses two players right after a tournament without the coach having a clue that might happen - doesn't sound so good.

 

[cuzmail]

Devil's advocate:

Is there another side to the story?

Was there previous communication between this family and the coach that either was not responded to by the coach or the answers provided weren't satisfactory? If that was the case, then the decision to leave the way they did was justified. If that wasn't the case then the decision to leave the way they did was wrong. Just sayin...

 

[cuzmail]

So let me pose this situation. If you "commit" to a team for a year and find out that after you have joined and paid the fees that you were lied to, the team misrepresented themselves, there is incredible amounts of daddy-ball (including AC DD's daddy ball), the coach wasn't very knowledgeable in teaching the girls how to better their skills or in softball in general (made lots of base running errors, expected the girls to already know "everything" so he wouldn't teach correction

Did your DD play on the same team as my DD this spring?

 

[softball_mom#7]

In some TB situations we have been in courtesy and respect seem to be a trade off for the big "W". To some the grass is always greener no matter what the cost.

 

[Pdiddy]

The best rock and roll was clearly in the 70's!

Have to disagree there....the 90's alternative rock scene had some amazing bands and songs....plus recordings finally got good....

 

[canyonjoe]

I think this has diverged into 2 questions.

1. Is it OK to leave after the season without notice or at least mentioning to the coach your intent? IMHO it's OK to leave at this time. If you have a good relationship with coach, try and do so without burning any bridges. Coaches, if you really want kids to tell you they are trying out for other teams, you need to make it clear that if they tell you and stay it won't affect them. This is done through words and actions when someone does tell them. It also might clear up problems that are causing them to leave. Just because someone doesn't complain doesn't mean that aren't upset about something.

2. Is it OK to leave Mid Season? I think it's OK if you have first tried to talk to the coach about your concerns. Also, I believe you owe it to the team to offer to stay on until they can find a suitable replacement and get unis,etc. We had 3 kids leave early spring and had to miss a couple of tourneys until we could replace. Not fair to the other kids.