- Aug 20, 2013
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That's my whole point. Just because its the "norm" for some doesn't mean It's courteous or respectful. It is what it is though. To each their own...
What ever happened to Courtesy & Respect?
- Thread starter CatchTheFever
- Start date
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I would have left your team for this reason alone. A never ending season with no scheduled time off? Thanks, but no thanks.
I agree that the title of this thread could've been worded a little differently.
We have been around travel softball going on our fourth year, starting in 8u. It has been our experience that families(or should I say parents) can be deceptive and sometimes downright shadey going into the last few months of the season. Heck, sometimes long before them. Most are always looking for a better offer at the end of the season. Mostly, due to win/loss record or playing time.
That said, there is always two sides to every story. There are almost always hurt feeling when girls choose to leave a team. Especially, a team as close as this one sounds. We all spend sooooo much time and energy working toward a common goal. The best you can do is wish them well and move on. No sense in holding onto it. Doesn't do anyone any good.
We have been around travel softball going on our fourth year, starting in 8u. It has been our experience that families(or should I say parents) can be deceptive and sometimes downright shadey going into the last few months of the season. Heck, sometimes long before them. Most are always looking for a better offer at the end of the season. Mostly, due to win/loss record or playing time.
That said, there is always two sides to every story. There are almost always hurt feeling when girls choose to leave a team. Especially, a team as close as this one sounds. We all spend sooooo much time and energy working toward a common goal. The best you can do is wish them well and move on. No sense in holding onto it. Doesn't do anyone any good.
Players change for all sorts of reasons. We have 2 seasons, summer and fall. Older players move all the time. It is neither disrespectful, or not courteous. Commit for the season. Change after each if you want.
The people who get their feelings hurt are the ones with the players who are not good enough, are being carried by the good kids, and have difficulty finding teams.
Commit for the season. We changed for the following reasons;
1. 12U team disbanded because the best girl left. We ended up with the team the good girl left for.
2. One year later, in 16U, we left to join with old coach as DD was not swinging well. I knew he could fix it, and he did.
3. Left that coach one season later to join big org. Coach understood, as I told him up front why we joined him in the 1st place.
4. Left big org. 1 year later because high school coaches (and friends) wanted to tune up together for high school season.
Every one of these changes were done with respect. Old teams would take us back in a heartbeat, because coaches for some odd reason like to win.
Please CatchThe Fever tell me what I did wrong.
- Aug 20, 2013
- 265
- 0
SCDad, it appears the way you handled things were fine. When did I indicate that no one should ever change teams? It's the way some people go about it that I have a problem with.
No one has said that it is disrespectful or not courteous to leave a team.
What CoachTheFever said, if I understand it, is that it is disrespectful and not courteous to leave a team during the season without any warning or communication with the coach. People are free to leave. No one is debating that. This team was in the middle of something. Not finished. You can still leave, but it would be courteous, IMO, to let the coach know of your plans of leaving before the season is over ASAP so he can better plan for the 8 that are left behind while the season is still going on.
We have never left mid-season. For us we have summer, and fall. NOW is the silly season.
Once players get to high school, for us, fall becomes about getting ready for High School spring softball. we have a good program here. The girls lift weights, and run (have been all summer) twice a week. Then we joined the travel team the high school coaches wanted, in this case, there are no practices, just show up and play. (some girls play volleyball, not us).
The big org. travel teams want us to play, and practice all year with them so they can keep the money stream going. For us it is about getting our goal in High School spring. The rest takes care of itself (college recruiting).
Our good high school program trump big travel org's for us. But we are sort of the exception.
Once players get to high school, for us, fall becomes about getting ready for High School spring softball. we have a good program here. The girls lift weights, and run (have been all summer) twice a week. Then we joined the travel team the high school coaches wanted, in this case, there are no practices, just show up and play. (some girls play volleyball, not us).
The big org. travel teams want us to play, and practice all year with them so they can keep the money stream going. For us it is about getting our goal in High School spring. The rest takes care of itself (college recruiting).
Our good high school program trump big travel org's for us. But we are sort of the exception.
I just read 4 pages and couldn't go anymore, so if this was covered sorry...I was brought up old school, make commitments and honor them till the end of your "contract". One thing that I do think drives this bail out of the blue mentality (if that's even the case here) is the workplace. The absolute right thing to do in the workplace is to give 2weeks notice min. that you intend to move on. The problem anymore though is as soon as you announce a departure, you are shown the door way more often than not immediately. It becomes such a Catch-22. You're an rear if you leave without warning, but give them warning and they show you the door before you're ready.
We all love our softball here and our DD's play for love of the game...but make no mistake about it..it is a job to play at the travel level...their "job". Once the last of the spring/summer tourneys are over, your "commitment" to the team is over..wether they were banking on DD's return or not
That becomes the time where everyone needs to decide if the fit is right and either sign on again or seperate.The softball years are short, everone has tough decisions to make. You just need to keep an open mind and not be bothered by the things you can not change
We all love our softball here and our DD's play for love of the game...but make no mistake about it..it is a job to play at the travel level...their "job". Once the last of the spring/summer tourneys are over, your "commitment" to the team is over..wether they were banking on DD's return or not
That becomes the time where everyone needs to decide if the fit is right and either sign on again or seperate.The softball years are short, everone has tough decisions to make. You just need to keep an open mind and not be bothered by the things you can not change
JJsqueeze
Dad, Husband....legend
I think everyone agrees that in TB you can leave if you want once you've finished a season. I think there is also pretty good agreement that leaving mid season is pretty bad form. The main thrust of the two camps is whether or not you should discuss this with the coach and let him know of your intentions before you tryout for another team or do you just tell him once you've found a team and made the final decision.
One camp says- "no obligation, it's TB. Just inform them when you leave" another camp says "common courtesy dictates you should give them a heads up that you are looking". It looks about evenly divided between the "common courtesy" (also known as the rights) and the "it's TB anything goes" (also known as the wrongs). It still surprises me how many people insist on disagreeing with me when I am so clearly consistently correct on all matters of opinion and musical taste.....on that note....I still say "90% of the best rock n roll was in the seventies...and all Rock n Roll from the year 2000 on absolutely sucks"....to quote Bill Hicks..."this is a fact....I can prove it on an Etch a Sketch"
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You are "paying" to play travel ball. It is not a job until you are getting paid (college).
As your DD gets older 16U, 18U, someone is getting the money being paid. It is perfectly within your rights to refuse to pay for a service.
The Daddy's who coach, and do not get paid, are using this priviledge to put their DD in a more favorable position. Like it or not, it is the truth. If a daddy is not coaching, these coaches are getting paid in some way. I won't get into the many ways they get paid that the consumer (player) is unaware.
The respectful thing is to only change in between seasons. No need for a heads up for everyone knows when silly season is, and do not really know who they have until the next season begins.
Sure it was a shock to us after 12U. But as I say before, after 12U it becomes a business. Money is exchanging hands. Daddy's keep pumping (coaching) their kids. And the game changes, so be aware, expect it, learn how to deal with it, and be nice to everyone.
As your DD gets older 16U, 18U, someone is getting the money being paid. It is perfectly within your rights to refuse to pay for a service.
The Daddy's who coach, and do not get paid, are using this priviledge to put their DD in a more favorable position. Like it or not, it is the truth. If a daddy is not coaching, these coaches are getting paid in some way. I won't get into the many ways they get paid that the consumer (player) is unaware.
The respectful thing is to only change in between seasons. No need for a heads up for everyone knows when silly season is, and do not really know who they have until the next season begins.
Sure it was a shock to us after 12U. But as I say before, after 12U it becomes a business. Money is exchanging hands. Daddy's keep pumping (coaching) their kids. And the game changes, so be aware, expect it, learn how to deal with it, and be nice to everyone.
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