What ever happened to Courtesy & Respect?

[CatchTheFever]

Hello everyone, my daughter has played softball for 3 years now and began playing 10U TB about 3 months ago. I've been lurking on this forum for some time now and we finally experienced a situation that irritated me. We joined a team that was one of the younger 10 U teams in our area (all 03' with the excetpion of 2 04's and 1 02' player). Most of the girls had been together for about a year and everyone gets along well inlcuding the parents. (Lot's of sleepovers and other activities outsie of SB)

I was very excited about the potential of this team growing together as the team has really progressed in the short time that we've been a part of it. Well, we finally experienced some drama as 2 of the girls unexpectedly switched teams this past weekend.

What bothers me about this is the way the parents went about leaving the team. They both completely caught the coach off guard as we only started hearing rumblings of this taking place about a week ago from parents on other teams. IMO, if you are going to pull your DD from a team, at least have the decency to give the coaches a heads up on what your plans are and possibly the reason. At the very least, this would allow time for the current team to start planning and searching for replacement players instead of just dropping the bomb on them after a weekend tournament and leaving the team shorthanded with only 8 girls now on the roster. Especially, on a team where everyone had been cordial and drama free up to this point.

I just don't understand why everyone feels the need to be so sneaky and misleading in girls TB, especially at this age group.

 

[CoogansBluff]

What was the reason given? When was the decision made by these parents vs. when it was announced?

 

[CatchTheFever]

What was the reason given? When was the decision made by these parents vs. when it was announced?

Word around was that they had been attending tryouts for 2 other teams in the past 2 weeks. Sad thing is the mother of one of them was actually an AC until about a month ago when she stopped coaching because she had to "get a part time job". The only reason I heard from them (second hand) is they didn't think their DD would improve anymore with this team. The other mother indicated to me that she wanted a strong team that her daughter would be able to stay with into her teen years. (Ironically, I personally believe she left the team that could have had that - she was a very key player)

Neither parent mentioned anything to the coach until after our elimination game on Sunday.

 

[CoogansBluff]

That's a shame. Parents should communicate with the coach regarding any tryout that the player attends, IMO.

Another question would be when does one season end and another begin in your area? This is the time of year in most places where players find new teams. But no excuse not to communicate with the coach, out of respect.

I would say it's highly unlikely that a 10-year-old with parents who would secretly look for other teams during a season will find a team that they'll stay with into her teens.

 

[CoachKevin]

Welcome to the world of instant gratification. I bet if you really asked the player she probably wanted to stay.... It's the parents. I know in our area team jumping was rampant this last year. It's sad really.

 

[JJsqueeze]

I just don't understand why everyone feels the need to be so sneaky and misleading in girls TB, especially at this age group.

We live in an age where we as a society are in large part -fat, dumb and lazy. The path of least resistance is the most common travelled and loyalty, sacrifice and the concept of delayed gratification are becoming rare. Our professional athletes cheat through their entire careers and then lie when caught. Our political leaders put politics before the common good (on both sides) and we file a lawsuit whenever something bad happens to us. People's morals are corroded and too many people lack the courage to look someone in the eye and tell them the truth.

These parents left in this manner because they are cowards. Thankfully not everyone is like this, but many are and I am never shocked at how weasel like people can be.

dismounting soapbox now...

 

[PGSAKen]

For a minute I thought the OP was one of my coaches lol because the same exact situation happened this week.

Instant gratification.

heres a good one. A team wins 70 games in a season including just about every tourney they enter. Goes to state and places. Prior to state coach ask everyone if they intend to return or look for opportunity (in private). All specifically say they are returning and some are insulted I even asked lol.

Goes 3 and 3 at Nationals. Not bad.

After Nationals 2 girls who have been going to tryouts the whole month leave-no notice. Reason was to advance their softball career. Leave a National team for a newer team.......

Grass is always greener isnt it

 

[29dad]

I don't get it. This is tryout season. This IS the time to either commit to your previous team or to find a new team. It's mid August.

 

[WARRIORMIKE]

Some people will never get it. Very irritating.

 

[JJsqueeze]

I don't get it. This is tryout season. This IS the time to either commit to your previous team or to find a new team. It's mid August.

Leaving is not the problem, but if you are part of a TEAM that you have relationships on, you owe it to the coaches and the other families to give a heads up as to what you are thinking because your departure affects them. How hard is it to say that you have had a wonderful experience but you want to explore other teams to see what they have to offer and you will keep the coach posted on what you decide to do? This gives the coaches a chance to think about a plan and possibly see that his team is vulnerable to being shorthanded and maybe put out some feelers.