One thing that travel ball has taught me is how hard it is for so many adults to have open conversations that might invite even the least bit of anxiety or conflict. The right thing to do is to discuss it with the coach. But that's not any easy conversation, so they bail on that responsibility.
What ever happened to Courtesy & Respect?
- Thread starter CatchTheFever
- Start date
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I am sorry but we agree to disagree. The parents who bug me are the ones who jump teams in late fall or early spring when rosters are pretty much set and teams have no time to make adjustments. This is August, the accepted "free agency period" thoughout TB. Every team goes through this. We just finished top 10 in the country at ASA/USA A nationals, and yet we had two decide not to return. Their choice and i hold no grudges. For those two familes who decided not to return, I think it would have been very awkward if they had announced to the coaches prior to the last tournament that they weren't planning on coming back for the next season. You just don't make those types of announcements during the season.
Again - agree to disagree. Now if this same thread was in November or even October, i would join the party.
- Aug 20, 2013
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JJ hit it on the head. We are the one team in our area that was already set with a full squad of mostly 03' players. Sure, other teams are trying trying out this year, but we were already set. We did not have a need to hold tryouts becasue we "thought" we had a full commited group of players and parents alike.
Leaving to another team is not the issue. But at least respect the people around you to give them a heads up of what you are considering. now, we are in the unfortunate position of needing 2-3 additional players affter the other teams in the are have already conducted their tryouts. Just be considerate of others and stop being so selfish.
Leaving to another team is not the issue. But at least respect the people around you to give them a heads up of what you are considering. now, we are in the unfortunate position of needing 2-3 additional players affter the other teams in the are have already conducted their tryouts. Just be considerate of others and stop being so selfish.
- Jun 19, 2013
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I think people should try putting themselves in the place of the people leaving. Since we recently moved on and have been on the other side. Are we supposed to announce that we are leaving in the middle of a tournament and distract from the task at hand? are we supposed to announce that we would like better coaching to people who are perfectly happy aiming for high school ball and have no beef at all with the current coaching? are we supposed to tell everyone which tryouts we are going to - in case our daughter doesn't make it so they can all ask her how that went and she can share about her feelings of rejection?
Let's be serious. How many teams of 9 year olds are heading to 18 gold together?
When we were asked earlier in the year we said we were going to look at our options. When we accepted an offer from another team we informed them the very next day. What more can you do?
If we told everyone that we were going to shop around and hit every tryout we could make and then we didn't make any of them and we come back to the team how do you think that would work out for the gossip mill?
It doesn't sound to me like these people did anything wrong if they informed the coaches in mid August right after the last tournament they would be playing in. From what I've seen with friends with older daughters this is a normal part of TB.
Let's be serious. How many teams of 9 year olds are heading to 18 gold together?
When we were asked earlier in the year we said we were going to look at our options. When we accepted an offer from another team we informed them the very next day. What more can you do?
If we told everyone that we were going to shop around and hit every tryout we could make and then we didn't make any of them and we come back to the team how do you think that would work out for the gossip mill?
It doesn't sound to me like these people did anything wrong if they informed the coaches in mid August right after the last tournament they would be playing in. From what I've seen with friends with older daughters this is a normal part of TB.
JJsqueeze
Dad, Husband....legend
Whether it be a friendship, marriage, girlfriend, business relationship etc. There are two ways you can conduct yourself when you want to make a change
1) You can look out for your own interests at all costs and conduct yourself in a way that you think preserves your own self interests best.
2) You can factor other people in and give some measure to their interests and how your decision may affect them and act accordingly.
From your response I imagine that we just have different paradigms and you are comfortable with 1. I prefer 2. So in this sense we agree to disagree and both opinions are equal...but which one seems like the "right thing to do" regardless of what is "accepted" because there is a lot that is "accepted" and completely friggin wrong these days.
If you tryout for other teams with the intention of leaving but dont get an offer you return to the same team that you wanted to leave on.
That doesnt sound like commitment-that sounds like those other familes are your second choice. Do them the courtesy of not returning as that becomes cancerous.
And I bet they all knew you were trying out -so you tryout-dont get an offer-return. Hows the rumor mill gonna handle that.
That tells the families and coaches as soon as you get a better offer you will leave eventually.
For whatever reason if you dont want to be somewhere then straight up say we are leaving. Dont stay ONLY if you dont get a better offer. Thats insulting to the existing players and parents. Queen Bee mentality.
That doesnt sound like commitment-that sounds like those other familes are your second choice. Do them the courtesy of not returning as that becomes cancerous.
And I bet they all knew you were trying out -so you tryout-dont get an offer-return. Hows the rumor mill gonna handle that.
That tells the families and coaches as soon as you get a better offer you will leave eventually.
For whatever reason if you dont want to be somewhere then straight up say we are leaving. Dont stay ONLY if you dont get a better offer. Thats insulting to the existing players and parents. Queen Bee mentality.
Looking from the coaches side I agree with you all, but it's a little different from the players side. There is a short window for tryout and everyone has around the same time. If a player is basically happy with the current team, but wants to pitch more or play more SS they may tryout for another team. I'm sure all coaches will say it wouldn't affect them, but I am pretty sure that if you didn't make the the other team and stayed, in some way it would affect how you are treated. If you really want transparency, let them know they can tryout for whoever the want as long as they let you know. If they come back show them they will be treated as before and you'll have more loyalty. I'm glad we didn't have to go through this with my DD.
Maybe I misunderstood the OP. The way I took it is that all players committed to playing on the team (thus the team didn't do tryouts), then the players left leaving the team high and dry needing more players.
The original poster didn't state whether this was the last tournament. If that was the case, then that's business. If there were tournaments remaining on the schedule, then not. ...
Also, not all teams operate on the August start/finish line. I've seen teams go JAN to DEC and play 'down' in the fall in tournaments that allow it. Some don't have tryouts. It's as though they're a continuous team that replaces only when somebody else drops off. And that somebody, out of courtesy, should provide warning. I think this team has to be judged on its particular situation. Which I'm not sure what it is.
