Simo
Former High School Coach
If you were up front as mentioned, tell the mom to go along with the program and keep her mouth shut or take her daughter and leave, if she stays, she'll be a constant distraction.
Oh boy, what to do
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Well I would agree with you if the girl's Mom said that her DD could start on another A team, but she told us that SHE thought her DD was a B player and needed to be on a B team. So the whole Bla, Bla, Bla you posted doesn't even fit into the conversation. Where in the OP did I say anything about College Athletic Requirements? No where did I say anything about my DD playing College ball, in fact she is pretty sure she doesn't want to based on what she wants to go to school for.
The only thing I was questioning is that the Mom wanted this and that, and when we talked to the player what she wanted was different. So maybe Mom should listen to her DD.
"I'm that guy" I have had nothing but trouble from the beginning. But who hasn't. HC's can tell you all the trouble they had when they were AC's. PC's can tell you all the trouble with the HC. Boardmembers of Leagues can tell you all the bad experiences they have at their meetings. I understand, and recognize the root causes @ church, school, and even around our house.
In context with this post, the OP says parents should let their DD's do what they want. I'm opposing that. When she is 18 maybe. If she thinks and acts like her mom, no.
I have learned to turn a disdain for the fundamental structure of our game (Daddy Ball) in to love. I have been able to prove to DD that almost every parent (99%) we have come into contact with playing Fastpitch, loves their little clone, and or love their redheaded stepchild,grandchild ect....When we get overwhelmed by the pushy people, we just simile knowing that is because they love them. DD came to the conclusion, that they even love them more than I do her. She said it easy for me to set back, and never say a single negative word to anyone, even the ones the coach is having trouble with. She loves to try new things that she can't do, just to calibrate my love for her. Watch me squirm, then watch me do the same things that the others do. I push everyone to let her say the prayer, I had a custom dress made for the beauty contest, Sing even when she didn't practice, get up and lead the exercise at Karate when she didn't even know it... She loves to see me throw my hands up and stomp off, I guess.
But with ball, I got her going so early, like reading, and riding a bike, she didn't even know what was happening. You tell her she is #2, and you got a war on your hands. She will not rest until she is the best. She does get that from her mom, the attack mode. I will count the losses, and work out how her and I are going to win in the end. Which always leads to more practice.
I guess this all boils down to "My dads better than your dad" When you tell me, she's not good enough to play "A". 12U, 16Gold, D1 college ect... I say you weren't at the nationals this year, and you don't represent a college. I do have plans to be in a business that will allow me to be mobile enough to follow her thru college. If I was a coach, I would be dreaming of her being so good, that I was part of the package. Since I don't have to do the grunt work of a coaching, I'll have the energy to keep DD pitching lessons, speed and agility, strength and conditioning. I will be remodeling a house in the campus area, that she'll be living in and helping with while she goes to school.... I'll be there!
10U... if you have 2 competing for catcher. It doesn't matter how you judge them as long as both girls understand what your criteria of evaluation is, and happening now to settle it...with a stop watch, or drag the tape, or compile a chart....Just like all the tailbacks are doing today and tomorrow, to see who gets the start Sat...Win or lose, they'll be back next week to try again, or be looking for another school...I'm guessing that this Lady is mad, because she was told something, that didn't happen. This is a competition for catcher..."the Field General" it is not trying to get off the bench and out towards the fence. I doubt that the lady would be fighting if her Daughter was clearly less than the other girl. And it is plain to see that she has to be pretty good to let her catch a whole game. If she couldn't, he couldn't let her.
We have a scrimmage this weekend, after 3 practices on our new Team. Two in the field, and one at the batting cage. We have 2 catchers, 4 pitchers, 2 younger girls...twelve in all. 3Coaches DD's...This will be when everyone gets to see if they are going to get what they are wanting... In all honesty, I made no deals, and I have no idea what is going to happen.... Let the games began. Lets see the pigeon holes !!!
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OK, that explains a whole lot where you're coming from. Yes at 10U we would be developing catchers... not so much at 16U. At 10U, sure parents should be getting involved more than if the player is 16U... you too will change your ideas when things like this happen to you. I hope it doesn't, but I have a feeling that it will.
You are really not getting what this whole conversation is about. What if your DD said "I don't want to play anymore?" Would you still make her? Would you continue to make her practice pitching with you on days off if she didn't want to pitch anymore? What will happen if your DD is 14, a Freshman, and decides she like Volleyball better than Softball, will you still make her play Softball during the Summer? You state in context I said the girl should do what she wants... the answer is yes, she is 16, if SHE decides she doesn't want to catch anymore then why is Mom pushing it? This isn't the case, just using it as an example. You see her Mom is the one saying she isn't an A catcher, not us. She is having a little problem holding on to the movement pitches, but that is something we can work with. Mom wants her DD to move to a B team instead.
This team is basically new, we only had 4 returners as the rest had to move up to 18U. The 4 returners play RF, CF, SS, and Utility so we did evaluate players during tryouts. And NO the Mom or the kid wasn't promised anything like you suggest. And NO the #1 catcher does not take lessons from either the HC or AC, so your conspiracy theory isn't correct either.
You are really not getting what this whole conversation is about. What if your DD said "I don't want to play anymore?" Would you still make her? Would you continue to make her practice pitching with you on days off if she didn't want to pitch anymore? What will happen if your DD is 14, a Freshman, and decides she like Volleyball better than Softball, will you still make her play Softball during the Summer? You state in context I said the girl should do what she wants... the answer is yes, she is 16, if SHE decides she doesn't want to catch anymore then why is Mom pushing it? This isn't the case, just using it as an example. You see her Mom is the one saying she isn't an A catcher, not us. She is having a little problem holding on to the movement pitches, but that is something we can work with. Mom wants her DD to move to a B team instead.
This team is basically new, we only had 4 returners as the rest had to move up to 18U. The 4 returners play RF, CF, SS, and Utility so we did evaluate players during tryouts. And NO the Mom or the kid wasn't promised anything like you suggest. And NO the #1 catcher does not take lessons from either the HC or AC, so your conspiracy theory isn't correct either.
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In hindsight I shouldn't have pulled my DD from a team she was playing with in first year 12U. Four catchers and DD wasn't getting much playing time. We skipped spring season with this team and did a season of rec where DD caught almost all the games. So, why in hindsight should I have kept DD on the other team? That team became one of the better teams in our area. Alot of girls left and the core stuck together. Of those four catchers only two really catch now and guess who has emerged as a top catcher? Yep, DD. Anyway, I understand the mom's perspective, especially with those rose colored glasses. I've thrown my away since those days. These days, I hang around and watch. Say very little. DD is now fighting for a 1 or 2 position as a catcher on her new team. She's caught the eye of one of the AC who was a catcher in HS and college.
What would happen is the team lost #1 because of a foultip to the hand and broke a bone? #2 would step in I would assume. Poor girl. I told my kid I would never do anything to embarrass her. The mom is a problem which really sucks for the girl. #2 catcher and 3B, I'd take anyday. Heck, I'm happy my DD is happy playing softball.
What would happen is the team lost #1 because of a foultip to the hand and broke a bone? #2 would step in I would assume. Poor girl. I told my kid I would never do anything to embarrass her. The mom is a problem which really sucks for the girl. #2 catcher and 3B, I'd take anyday. Heck, I'm happy my DD is happy playing softball.
- May 25, 2010
- 1,070
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Oh brother, not this again.
You constantly complain about daddy ball with this 'I'll show them', I mean, 'WE'LL show them' attitude, but do you ever stop to think about the coaches - and other parents - who have to deal with the chip you've got on your shoulder and which you're attempting to pass on to your DD? I'm not saying anything against having an edge or a little attitude, but whenever I read your posts, it always seems like there's more to the story than simply trying to look out for your daughter who has been wronged before. It's as if you're trying to get revenge on coaches you may have dealt with some 25-30 years ago. If I'm wrong, forgive me, but that's what I take from your repeated statements.
Your house, your rules, but I hope you allow your daughter to play her game as she gets older.
To the OP - my apologies for participating in the hijack, but I think some of the things said by Perfect Circle - such as setting up a head-to-head throw for distance competition between the players for a captive parent audience - are indicative of a negative brand of sports parent extremism that the perpetrators are often completely in denial about.
Admins - censure me if you must, but if I were behaving badly or suggesting deleterious behaviors to other parents, I would hope to be called on it.
yea... I'm talking 10U only on my Fastpitch level of experience. 54 ys old, with 8 grand kids on my parenting experiences. Not agreeing with letting my kid do what she wants. Cars, boyfriends, all that stuff will be in play. Unfortunately I was divorced with my first family. and yes they had choice. If you want to live with me, you are going to do something... I really didn't care what as long as you commit to being the best at it, and I can see it as being a good investment of my time and money. But once you start, you'll finish. If not you have your moms lifestyle options. So its a matter of my blessing.
I could never see a girl converting to basketball or Volleyball this late. I chose Fastpitch, because of her size, and aptitudes, after we were sent packing from gymnastics at 6, they said she was going to be too big. We chose Fastpitch then. If she wants to change, it will be tennis, or piano. Already had a little tif with her, and pulled her from the team and had her in tennis lessons that week. She will be doing something, voice anything.
Does the girl have her own catching equipment?
Yes she has her own catching equipment, I don't know any 16U catchers that don't to be honest.
You contridict yourself, one one hand you say you do not let your kid do what she wants, but on the other hand you pulled her from her softball team for what reason? I would imagine something to the effect to "I don't want to play". Correct? So you actually did allow her to decide.
And you never know about other sports. Maybe the track coach in HS will recruit her to run track instead of playing Softball, or maybe she falls in love with Choir more than Softball.
You contridict yourself, one one hand you say you do not let your kid do what she wants, but on the other hand you pulled her from her softball team for what reason? I would imagine something to the effect to "I don't want to play". Correct? So you actually did allow her to decide.
And you never know about other sports. Maybe the track coach in HS will recruit her to run track instead of playing Softball, or maybe she falls in love with Choir more than Softball.
You need to get that chip off your shoulder before you ruin it for you DD!
I'll answer you first... She said, she didn't want to play because she showed up to every practice, made the honor roll as always, Won the fundraiser award, and when she seen her and another girl who missed practice to study for state test, where the only ones, and then they brought in pick-up players. The other girl wasn't that good, and had to set bench. She said it wasn't fair, and she was right. I had about 7 other mistrusts on my list, that I didn't share with her. I took her along as as I went about shutting everything down, and she didn't flinch. I actually told the coach I was benching him. Turns out that 2 teams in the org. aren't having teams because of them this year. And when they got on their teams this year, they were AC's.They begged her to come back, and then tried to get her to play back down 9U on the team with her age and with her school friends. She said that won't be fair to them either, that they would not like someone coming in after they worked all Fall and Winter & Spring. I told her I would pick up player's too if I was a coach. She laughed and said you could never coach a team, just pitching. We did win a qualifier, and we quit. But we kept practicing her pitching, and started working on the back flip change up. She got invited to play on a "A" this fall and our first scrimmage is with 6 of the other girls and coach of one of the other teams this weekend. Last year kinda had the same thing, that ended with a show down with her other coach and her new team ... we win 19-4... No contradiction...I tell her she is a pitcher/catcher, or tennis player who is going to be a singing architect. All are individual sports to us. Team or no team we are still going to keep getting better.
Now she knows what a pick up player is, and when I have her be one, our first exposure will to them, will prove helpful. Don't worry about some other coach picking her up, I'm hard to get around...Let me put this in perspective shes is the best around.
I'm still with the Lady, except I wouldn't play B... I would seat it out. Work on catching and hitting, and wait for them to come asking.
