I know the problem that some parents can cause, but at younger ages it's as much teaching the parents the game as it is kids. The best players tend to be the ones who have parents who work with them on the off days. That doesn't mean you just let them instruct, but if you can get them to shag balls or pitch BP so you can work with a kid that really needs it I think it helps. You might find some good coaches out of the group. TB is much different but still if they can help with field maintenance or shagging,etc I think it helps the team much more than it hurts them.
New Coach - will welcome any advice. Working on letter to parents.
- Thread starter KCPhoto
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There. Fixed it for you.
my impression this was rec/LL, so not really an option to kick a girl off. I am always willing to listen, just not right before, during, or immediately after a game or practice. Too much emotion, too many ears around, etc. Got to be willing to listen to reasonable concerns (not saying you have to give them what they want, just listen and acknowledge).
I had hoped the little winky-thingy would convey my sarcasm. I guess I failed.
In rec, I fully agree with you. On my team, it is the law of the land, but it can be at that level and with that law communicated very clearly at the beginning of the team's formation.
I fully encourage the girls to ask about such things, though. I like for them to be confident and strong and willing to fight their own battles. Parents sometimes get in the way of that. However, if a girl comes to me with questions about PT or maybe getting some time at another position, I answer her honestly and then i tell her parents about the conversation so they're aware. Seems to work really well for the girls, and mostly well for their folks.
Good to set that expectation up-front. When they decide to talk anyway, here's how I handle it. I stop talking and then look at whoever is talking. Sooner or later she notices she's the only one talking. I will then tell the girl (and everyone else) in a calm voice, "Only one person can talk in the huddle. It doesn't have to be me. If you want it to be you go ahead. We're all listening." That usually shuts down any extraneous chatter.
- May 29, 2013
- 50
- 0
10U rec is a great age to coach. I looked back on some of my old emails to respond to this and got a little nostalgic. I still have a picture on my desk from our last 10U spring season 2 years ago. Anyway...
Here are some random thoughts:
The only parent helpers/ACs that cause trouble are ones who think they know what they don't actually know. When I first started in all this, I was a parent helper and I told the HC up front that I didn't know anything about anything, but would be happy shag balls, throw soft toss, haul equipment, rake basepaths, whatever. I wound up learning a tremendous amount from the HC. I even managed to not screw up too badly later on when our rec league was desperate for coaches and I was a HC for a few seasons. Bottom line: Even no-nothing ACs can be plenty helpful. You just have to coach and develop them along with your players. If you do, your players and your league will reap dividends way down the line.
Definitely check league policy re: parent helpers. Insurance is another big issue -- in my league they were clear that coaches and players were covered by insurance but random parents on the field were not.
Be rigorous about starting and ending practice on time. No parent will say it, but they hate it when practice goes 20 minutes late because they have Billy to pick up from soccer or a lasagna in the over or whatever.
There are some things you should cover not in email, but in a parent meeting at the first practice so they're not read the wrong way. e.g.:
- Cheering should be positive - but generic (see next item)
- No advice/coaching to players in the field, batters in the box, or pitchers in the circle. I told parents if they see something that their kid is doing they think is wrong, they should come tell me and I'll decide whether it needs correcting right away or can wait -- I explained that no 10 year old needs multiple adults yelling sometimes contradictory advice when they're already in a pressure situation
- PT/position questions should come to me, but not before/during/immediate after a game
- When we have youth umpires, they are to be treated with kindness. They're learning that part of the game as much as our players are learning theirs.
Finally, here are some of the notes I emailed to my 10U rec team at the start of the season:
"Attendance: Since registration is still open, we may get a few more
players, but right now we have only eleven - so PLEASE be sure to let
me know if your daughter will be missing any games so I can plan
accordingly. If you already know of a conflict, let me know now, but also
remind me a week or so prior. Also try to let me know in advance if
you'll be missing practice.
Practice: I will run practices with multiple stations and keep things
moving along. Many hands make light work (and also keeps kids from
standing around bored) so I welcome parents who want to help. I only
ask that you let me know at least a day in advance so I can adjust the
plan. I have been known to grab parents from the bleachers to help
out in a pinch (though feel free to say "no").
Equipment: If you are thinking about getting new softball stuff but
aren't sure what you need, please contact me. The league site has some
good info on selecting equipment. The team will have bats, helmets,
and catcher gear. Players need to supply their own glove and cleats.
At Opening Day, there is usually an exchange table where people leave
gear they no longer need. We've picked up a few things that way.
Finally (for now anyway) -- Spring softball is meant to be a little
more competitive than the fall. The league will keep standings, and
there will be a playoff at the end of the season. While I will still
focus more on skill development than winning, I am going to start
introducing the idea that playing time is earned, especially in key
positions. I will still move players around a lot (infield and
outfield), so if girls are trying hard in practices and games, they
should get to play plenty of innings in the positions they most enjoy."
Here are some random thoughts:
The only parent helpers/ACs that cause trouble are ones who think they know what they don't actually know. When I first started in all this, I was a parent helper and I told the HC up front that I didn't know anything about anything, but would be happy shag balls, throw soft toss, haul equipment, rake basepaths, whatever. I wound up learning a tremendous amount from the HC. I even managed to not screw up too badly later on when our rec league was desperate for coaches and I was a HC for a few seasons. Bottom line: Even no-nothing ACs can be plenty helpful. You just have to coach and develop them along with your players. If you do, your players and your league will reap dividends way down the line.
Definitely check league policy re: parent helpers. Insurance is another big issue -- in my league they were clear that coaches and players were covered by insurance but random parents on the field were not.
Be rigorous about starting and ending practice on time. No parent will say it, but they hate it when practice goes 20 minutes late because they have Billy to pick up from soccer or a lasagna in the over or whatever.
There are some things you should cover not in email, but in a parent meeting at the first practice so they're not read the wrong way. e.g.:
- Cheering should be positive - but generic (see next item)
- No advice/coaching to players in the field, batters in the box, or pitchers in the circle. I told parents if they see something that their kid is doing they think is wrong, they should come tell me and I'll decide whether it needs correcting right away or can wait -- I explained that no 10 year old needs multiple adults yelling sometimes contradictory advice when they're already in a pressure situation
- PT/position questions should come to me, but not before/during/immediate after a game
- When we have youth umpires, they are to be treated with kindness. They're learning that part of the game as much as our players are learning theirs.
Finally, here are some of the notes I emailed to my 10U rec team at the start of the season:
"Attendance: Since registration is still open, we may get a few more
players, but right now we have only eleven - so PLEASE be sure to let
me know if your daughter will be missing any games so I can plan
accordingly. If you already know of a conflict, let me know now, but also
remind me a week or so prior. Also try to let me know in advance if
you'll be missing practice.
Practice: I will run practices with multiple stations and keep things
moving along. Many hands make light work (and also keeps kids from
standing around bored) so I welcome parents who want to help. I only
ask that you let me know at least a day in advance so I can adjust the
plan. I have been known to grab parents from the bleachers to help
out in a pinch (though feel free to say "no").
Equipment: If you are thinking about getting new softball stuff but
aren't sure what you need, please contact me. The league site has some
good info on selecting equipment. The team will have bats, helmets,
and catcher gear. Players need to supply their own glove and cleats.
At Opening Day, there is usually an exchange table where people leave
gear they no longer need. We've picked up a few things that way.
Finally (for now anyway) -- Spring softball is meant to be a little
more competitive than the fall. The league will keep standings, and
there will be a playoff at the end of the season. While I will still
focus more on skill development than winning, I am going to start
introducing the idea that playing time is earned, especially in key
positions. I will still move players around a lot (infield and
outfield), so if girls are trying hard in practices and games, they
should get to play plenty of innings in the positions they most enjoy."
