Daddyball-ism

[Country Boy]

dd's catcher- It is unfortunate that my previous post was right behind your's. I was not attacking you or your post. It would seem that you handled your daughter's situation in a perfect way. Deal with it until the season is over and then move on. I applaud you.

What I am annoyed at is many's belief that all Daddy coached teams are inferior. Some are no doubt. But some are pretty darn good. A person cannot promote that belief without stepping on some pretty good coaches toes.

What if this thread had instead been entitled, "All coaches that don't have daughters on the team are perverts." Every year there are instances of coaches acting inappropriately. So is it fair to lump all of them together? I think many would be insulted at that insinuation. How is it different?

What if I make the claim that every dd that changes teams is a prima donna and an emotional head case? That is clearly not true. But it is in some cases. Fair to lump everyone together?

This is apparently a national forum. Softball in CA, FL, AZ is much different than the rural area I live in. We don't have a number of teams that my dd can pick and choose from. We play at 18 but my daughter is probably the only one going to play in college and that is at a low level. Our team has fun and we play some pretty good ball. How is that wrong just because I am a Daddy coach?

 

[obbay]

"Daddyball" is only daddyball when there's a problem with it. if the coach has a daughter on a team and the team is successful, then it's not a problem. the problem comes in when everything revolves around the chosen few. You might say that it doesn't make sense to overlook talent, that a coach would be shooting himself in the foot. that may be true but he does it anyway.

I've seen several good players almost leave the game because of Daddyball coaches who came with a predetermined agenda and taught them that they were no good.

The most important skill in any sport is "how to get playing time". Unless a kid learns how to win playing time, she will not get on the field in college.

you can't earn playing time if the coach doesn't want you to.

 

[Dave D]

Country Boy, you took the words right out of my mouth. Well stated. I coached for a long time (12 years HS) before I ever had a DD on a team, and ended up coaching her TB team because no one else within 50 miles was willing to do it. Greatest group of kids and parents I've ever been around. I'm out of HS ball now, partly to not have the political pressure of deciding DD's fate in that program, but I've continued with the TB group because the whole thing works so well. My wife constantly reminds me of Sluggers' advice about focusing on your kid if you want her to be great, and I'm working toward that. DD will probably move to 16A ball next summer, and I definitely won't follow her there as a coach.

Overall, though, I would say this: I've watched hundreds, maybe thousands, of coaches over the past 15 years. To be honest, the percentage of jerk (a blanket description) "daddyball" coaches out of all dad coaches is roughly the same as the percentage of jerk "non dad," or "organizational," or (ahem) "professional" coaches out of all coaches who aren't dads. There are bad coaches everywhere for all kinds of reasons, and great coaches everywhere for all kinds of reasons. "Daddyball" is a scourge. So is "Egomania." So is "ineptitude." I could go on.

 

[Momo'sDad]

Lots of generalizations and stereotypes, but if I'm going to err with generalizations, I believe its safer and more productive to err on Slugger's side. IMO, after 14U, you can help your DD more by not coaching her team, but working with her independently. Its all a part of letting go and giving her the chance to make her own way and develop into an independent young adult. A number of the ones who have taken this approach are found at TB games far from the dugout/stands and have half bitten off tongues.

I think a lot of the coaches here - even the to-the-core 'daddy coaches' - agree that 14U is generally the right time to go ahead and place our superstars into the capable hands of another. It doesn't mean anyone stops caring or stops helping their kids progress, it just means that someone else has the reins on some of the larger aspects of the player's development, like the things laid out by Sluggers.

I never intended to coach, but now that I've got the job, I fully intend to keep coaching for another 2 years beyond this one, unless a better option comes along. That 'better option' is unlikely to appear in our rec league next year (although someone could appear), but I will not yet rule out a return to my chair way out down the left field line in 2013.

 

[BB875]

Well said Dave D. Not everyone has the opportunities the Slugger is talking about. Those of us who do not made the best of what we had. Last summer, my TB team played against this guy (and I say guy because the team was all about him) that was some "professional" baseball hot shot guy. Not sure what he ever accomplished, but he thought highly of himself. I believe my girls put 10 runs on the board in the first inning & he switched pitchers 3 times & berated everyone of them in front of everyone...No daddyball in his dug out, just a jerk coach with a very short life-span as a youth coach. So, I agree with Dave D, jerks come in every walk of life...

 

[dd's catcher]

country boy-My apologies for misunderstanding. Did not mean to come on so strong. MY BAD.Our one experience with daddyball pretty
bad to the point of dad holding up flash cards from stands for what pitchs his dd threw in middle school games.
Went over real well with school coach. I do agree with your post.
If people believe that just because a dad or mom(don't forget them) is coaching a team that it is daddyball they are
going to run out of teams to play for.
It sounds like you are one of the good ones since #1 the girls are having fun and #2 they are playing some pretty good ball.
That is in no way shape or form a bad thing and is a credit to you as a coach.
Good luck to your dd in playing at the next level. It is an accomplishment she should be very proud of as I know you are!
Now I'm going to go oil up that chair I use way down left field line, not because dd wants me to but because the old heart
just can't take it

 

[Lozza]

My mother coached me from the age of 7 to 14. Best coach I ever had. She was harder on me than anyone but it meant I earnt the position I played under her. (first)

I was a pitcher at first from age 10 to 12. I never put in enough time and effort so I never got put on. I always pitched at rep level though because of nautral talent. But my mother had a rule that a girl had to pitch outside of practice once a week and since I didn't I didn't get to go on.

I also had a coach whose daughter was a catcher. She was OK but to everyone but her father she was the third best catcher. Guess who caught nearly every game? We lost one of the best catchers in my association because she would never be put on and finally her parents got fed up and left.

If a father is objective it's fantastic. If they're not? They do more harm that good.

 

[changeupskill]

Slugger, once again you spew intelligence. 8s - 14s, Dads / Moms get them off to a good start, then if they are still into it, let them fly with someone else. I did, and I've been coaching long before DD was born. Now, just helping keep score and watching her grow. Our 10 - 14s experience with daddy coaches have just been horrible. Not that my DD doesn't get to play enough. In fact, my DD has never missed an inning. OUR problem with mommy / daddy ball was their DD making 8 - 10+ errors in one game in KEY positions like catcher or short stop. I mean RIDICULOUS errors. 5 dropped third strikes, throwing to 3rd from SS instead of 1st on an empty base hit. Errors and mistakes happen, but with 13 players on a team, ANYONE could do better. Here in Colorado, I can count on one hand the objective daddy coaches. We have over a hundred teams near the Metro area too. If the top 10 winningest 16/18U coaches in this state were named, at least 9 of them do not have kids on the team. As I said, my DD doesn't miss any innings, but she just HATES the whispers as several people posted in here, "its the coaches kid" (that is late, goofing off, texting etc) amongst the team members. So, no daddy ball for her for her own reasons. Daddy ball in little league is KIND of regulated by that pesky "every kid plays" rule. (being funny) No daddy can bench any player for good or an entire game regardless if they are objective or not. Everyone plays, and thats awesome. Rec is great, (was for us) and has its place just as TB does. We'd have to seriously study an upper level daddy coach in order to consider playing for them. In OUR area. Just in this thread, it sounds like there are several great mommy / daddy coaches we would play for because they don't seem to be solely hung up on thier kid. To THOSE coaches, keep up the great work. Good luck.

 

[3'sDad]

I "retired" from coaching at the end of DD's LL season last year as she also plays travel ball and needed to play at that level to improve. The travel ball team is a Mommy-Ball team, coached by one of the players mom's and 2 dads. Recipe for disaster ?

No. Mom pitched for a DI school, is the local high school varsity softball coach and the pitching coach at the local college. Playing time is earned, circle time more so. Mom has a very quick, fair hook on whoever is pitching, including her daughter. There is no parent grumbling revolving around playing time, batting order, etc, as these are all earned thru either practice or game/tournament production.

We're in the midst of winter training and one of the pitchers has not been diligent on her practice. Coach mom pulled the kid and poarent aside and said, " if you don't step up your practice time, you will not be seeing pitching time once we start playing".

 

[changeupskill]

3'sdad. SO many coaches around here WANT to say that to alot of kids and parents, but they can't. There are SO many teams here that parents get their feelings hurt, mommy or daddy storm off and start their own team to do it their way. I can't count the number of teams advertising they have only 9 or 10 players and are looking for a few more. Parents and kids know this and use this to their advantage against the coaches to get their way and threaten to leave for any of the dozens of teams needing players. If our area could cut down on the number of teams, ESPECIALLY 10s-14s, we would have much tougher teams and kids would actually learn how to work hard for something. The girls that can't play or don't want to play real hard are pretty much weeded out by 16s and 18s, and its LESS of a problem at those levels. Weeded out meaning, chose volleyball, honor society, boyfriend or just watching tv etc, and not getting picked up for the upper teams they hoped to make. There are only a handful of coaches here that have the luxury of saying "you don't run this team, I do - so shut up or leave." (or the similar) Our coach now will fire players in a heartbeat if they think they or their parents run the team and will play with 8 if it came to that, or shut the team down. Not that he has that problem, but all involved knows he will and keep their attitudes in check. Pat your Coach mom mentioned above on the back when you get a chance. Good for her.