Was stuck in daddy ball for a long time. Best thing that ever happened is when a coach took over the team that didn't have a daughter playing. My daughter sees the field on her merits alone. When she's had to ride the pine it was because of bad hitting. She doesn't like to ride the pine. Nobody does in competitive sports.
Daddyball-ism
- Thread starter NVfishing
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You all are really "getting it." Good for you.. NO Daddy ball. I've coached alot, and went to the highest levels several years ago in 16s and 18s Rec. Awesome times and had NO kids period at that time. Took a long coaching break, and got back into it a few years ago and loved it even more. However, my dd became interested in playing and we started her at the 12U level. Was hesitant, but did it vs letting a mom / dad duo take charge. I refused to be "Dad" on the field and made sure everyone knew that. My DD and another player got kinda snotty one time and thought it was a goof off time during a skills demo. Both girls were asked by me to leave practice and not come back until next practice. My DD sat in the car, and the other girls parents understood and took her home. NEVER had another problem, and was never questioned if I was playing daddy ball. If any other player or dd was having their "off" day, it was their time to sit. Wow, did my dd hate to sit. So its pushed her to work harder to minimize any off days. She caught the eyes of some TB teams and they came to games to watch her and each offered her spots on their teams. She / we chose one and was awesome. That next season they moved up to 14s and she was a beginning 12 and thought to fast too soon. Next team was DADDY ball at its finest. Ugh.... It was horrible. I've stepped away from team coaching and only have 5 girls privately and my dd has just went NUTS with softball. She played as a guest on a dozen or more teams while honoring her own team, but just couldn't find a team that matched her level. Imagine Troy Tulowitski playing with the Bad News Bears. We REFUSE to play on a daddy / daughter team ever again. Its evident why. She is 14 1/2 now playing at the 18A level and feeling like a rockstar. Every coach we interviewed, that was our first question.... Do you have a kid on the team. If yes, we simply said thanks for your time, goodbye. How many coach dad's bench their kid for seriously goofing off after the coin toss or after their 7th error. Not many. You all have the right idea in my eyes. No Daddy Ball.
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It doesn't have to be daddy ball. In my experience, most of the coaches that I have worked with and played against that have a daughter on their own team are very aware of the appearance of favoritism and go out of their way NOT to treat their DD any differently. If fact, more often they are harder on their own DD than any other player because they have higher expectations for her and they want to be fair to the other players.
My DD recently played for a manager who at the beginning of the year told the parents that all playing positions will be earned. Manager's DD historically had played 1B for his team but there was a new girl who worked harder at practice and played the position better than Manager's DD. So after a couple of games he replaced his DD with the better player. I now have complete respect for this manager because he actually followed through on his word and I trust that he will do the right thing.
My DD recently played for a manager who at the beginning of the year told the parents that all playing positions will be earned. Manager's DD historically had played 1B for his team but there was a new girl who worked harder at practice and played the position better than Manager's DD. So after a couple of games he replaced his DD with the better player. I now have complete respect for this manager because he actually followed through on his word and I trust that he will do the right thing.
I saw a girl at a position recently, that truly I could have beaten out in my old age. Here is what she did. She stood with her glove on her knee and never moved. So, the ball had to be hit right at her for her to field it. Then, she would stand up, go thumb to thigh, etc. and throw to first - after the runner had crossed the bag.
When, I started griping to the woman next to me, she said "Coach's daughter."
When, I started griping to the woman next to me, she said "Coach's daughter."
While you might respect the manager as a coach, I have to wonder about him as a parent.
First, he allowed himself to be put into a position of having to decide between his own DD and someone else's DD. A parent should be advocate for his/her children.
Second, while he was out putting his time and energy into the team, he should have been putting it into his own DD.
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sluggers - come on...First of all, you are assumming that he doesn't put in the time with his daughter away from the field (he does). Secondly, what's your issue with him having to choose between two players (if he is being objective which every manager should strive to be), who cares who the parents are of those two players?
Are you suggesting only adult coaches with no kids should be the only people coaching players? If that was the case you would lose about 95% of the softball teams in the nation because there would not be enough adults to coach all of these teams.
I would agree with you that at a certain age it might advisable to walk away from coaching your own DD, but at the younger ages I think it's wonderful that parents have made the commitment and sacrifice to work with these young girls. Again I have the utmost respect for this manager and would have no reservations with him taking my daughter on his team in the future. These are the coaches we need not the daddy ball types.
I was under the impression we were talking about an 18U A team. At 14U and 12U, there are going to be a lot of daddy coaches. And, again, at all ages of rec league, there are going to be daddies coaching. I'm talking about serious travel ball teams.
Coaching takes a lot of time and energy. A coach has many tasks other than managing practices and coaching games. Coaching takes twice as much time off the field as it does on the field.
If a Daddy were to take the time he devoted as a coach and put that focus solely into developing his own DD, the DD would be very, very good.
All you have to do is find a father who is completely objective about his DD. I haven't met one yet, but who knows? Maybe Diogenes can find one.
In my experience, Daddy-coaches are either (1) so lenient that his DD doesn't have to do anything to bat 4th and pitch, (2) so unrelenting that his DD never gets a break or (3) a psychotic combination of (1) and (2).
Coaching takes a lot of time and energy. A coach has many tasks other than managing practices and coaching games. Coaching takes twice as much time off the field as it does on the field.
If a Daddy were to take the time he devoted as a coach and put that focus solely into developing his own DD, the DD would be very, very good.
All you have to do is find a father who is completely objective about his DD. I haven't met one yet, but who knows? Maybe Diogenes can find one.
In my experience, Daddy-coaches are either (1) so lenient that his DD doesn't have to do anything to bat 4th and pitch, (2) so unrelenting that his DD never gets a break or (3) a psychotic combination of (1) and (2).
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- Feb 3, 2011
- 1,880
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Although I gladly welcome the challenge, I'm being pressed into service this year because of a coaching shortage at 10u. My daughter has wanted me to coach her for a long time, but I've always felt she was better off on teams being handled by other people.
She practices a lot. I catch for her whenever she wants and in addition to the batting work we do together, she goes into the backyard after school and practices on the tee, where she judges her performance on the way her body moves and the way it feels when she makes contact.
A girl can grow as a player on her own, but you cannot replicate the team experience in a vacuum. If daddy and daughter spend 4 hours alone together playing ball each week, and then have another 3 hours of team practice, that might be more than enough softball time for the two. Some girls will need or want more time, while others will want less. That's something each girl should be allowed to decide for herself.
I think it shows strength and integrity to not allow nepotism to affect coaching decisions. I want my DD to learn the importance of TEAM goals and that in TEAM sports, her success will be dependent on the success of her teammates.
Speaking only about my own child, she knows playing up means she will only be rated as a #2 starter, but she's fully committed to becoming a #1 and could very well achieve that during the season. The time I spend working to hopefully develop other pitchers is time when her arm should be resting anyway.
She practices a lot. I catch for her whenever she wants and in addition to the batting work we do together, she goes into the backyard after school and practices on the tee, where she judges her performance on the way her body moves and the way it feels when she makes contact.
A girl can grow as a player on her own, but you cannot replicate the team experience in a vacuum. If daddy and daughter spend 4 hours alone together playing ball each week, and then have another 3 hours of team practice, that might be more than enough softball time for the two. Some girls will need or want more time, while others will want less. That's something each girl should be allowed to decide for herself.
I think it shows strength and integrity to not allow nepotism to affect coaching decisions. I want my DD to learn the importance of TEAM goals and that in TEAM sports, her success will be dependent on the success of her teammates.
Speaking only about my own child, she knows playing up means she will only be rated as a #2 starter, but she's fully committed to becoming a #1 and could very well achieve that during the season. The time I spend working to hopefully develop other pitchers is time when her arm should be resting anyway.
- May 14, 2010
- 213
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So if you buy a car and it breaks down, you'll never buy a car again- because it might break down? Because you may have had one bad experience with a dad that coaches, it is ok to condemn all of us?
One of the biggest challenges that Fathers who coach face is all of the 'experts' in the stands. Face it, if your daughter does not play as much as mine, it might be because your daughter sucks. I am sure it has nothing to do with the hours I spend with my DD in the back yard while you are drinking with your buddies, etc. There are 9 positions on the field. So unless your dd specializes at the same position as the coach's dd, if she is as good as your ego suggests, she should make it onto the field. (Either that or the coach has 9 dd on the team???)
I am sure that there are some poor coaches that are also father's. Much like some coaches are child molester's, alcoholic's, drug abuser's, etc. But as SoCal suggests, if you remove the parents from the coaching ranks, 80-90% of all teams will fold.
I am not the best coach on the planet. But until Mike Candrea chooses to resign and come volunteer for my team, my players need me. There are a lot of better coaches than me. Most just choose to sit in the stands and display their knowledge. Easy to be perfect from there.
One of the biggest challenges that Fathers who coach face is all of the 'experts' in the stands. Face it, if your daughter does not play as much as mine, it might be because your daughter sucks. I am sure it has nothing to do with the hours I spend with my DD in the back yard while you are drinking with your buddies, etc. There are 9 positions on the field. So unless your dd specializes at the same position as the coach's dd, if she is as good as your ego suggests, she should make it onto the field. (Either that or the coach has 9 dd on the team???)
I am sure that there are some poor coaches that are also father's. Much like some coaches are child molester's, alcoholic's, drug abuser's, etc. But as SoCal suggests, if you remove the parents from the coaching ranks, 80-90% of all teams will fold.
I am not the best coach on the planet. But until Mike Candrea chooses to resign and come volunteer for my team, my players need me. There are a lot of better coaches than me. Most just choose to sit in the stands and display their knowledge. Easy to be perfect from there.
My DD has had 4 different managers; all of them have had at least 1 child on the Team. My DD has been treated very fairly on all her Teams. Occasionally their DD would get some extra batting during practice but nothing I thought worth worrying about. A couple had a few extra opportunities during the season, but it was more trying to find them positions then Daddyball. People that were not at practice every day might have seen it differently.
When someone attends almost all the practices and games they have might have a “right” to bring up the daddyball topic, unfortunately it seems to be the people that do not attend any practices or many games.
When someone attends almost all the practices and games they have might have a “right” to bring up the daddyball topic, unfortunately it seems to be the people that do not attend any practices or many games.
