Bit of Dilema - Could use opinions!

[SoftballMomof2]

Thanks so much! I am amazed at all the replies!

I know what we should do and we are moving forward with the new team! Our commitment for the season with the current team is over.
I know in my heart my daughter will have more fun, have more competition, play at a higher level, have more experienced coaches at the new team.

Thanks again everyone! I know it was a no-brainer but I needed reassurance plus sometimes its easier for someone outside the situation to have a better view etc!

SoftballMomof2

 

[sluggers]

One word of advice--be classy. Thank the coach for his work with your DD. Don't bad mouth the guy, and just say, "Hey, she had a great time, but she found a better opportunity."

 

[SoftballMomof2]

We will do that for sure!

Thanks for the advice, it is greatly appreciated!

SoftballMomof2

 

[Coach JV]

My DD has tried out and been invited to play for a new team. They want her for fall,
but she is fulfilling her obligation to her current team thru December. The new team
practices more and top to bottom of the roster is more solid than current team. Her
current team is fun but she wants more.

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

Once you have completed a season there is no obligation to play for the team again.

If the new team feels right TO YOUR DD, make the switch. Simple.

Like others have stated here; Even though the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it may not be. There is (almost) always a daddy coaching for a team and there is (almost) always some level of daddy ball going on. It happens much less at older levels (16U up). Get used to it and good luck finding one that is (mostly) fair.

 

[TimothyJ]

we played near 50 reg season games.

I feel like I owe it to the coach, like maybe I am throwing the coach under the bus way too soon. Not giving the coach a fair second chance etc.

Seems to me the coach had 49 "second chances"

Like the others have said, you've completed the season, and thus her commitment. You can move on and sleep well about it

 

[irishluck]

Hi there:

I don't think you have dilemna. My daughter is 16 playing ASA. Each team we've been on has had issues (mostly parent issues) and with one team there was obvious "daddy ball" happening. Change in teams is difficult even in the worst of situations, however, it is part of the growth process for the girls and us moms. It sounds to me like the girls are ready to make a change. If there is one thing that I've learned the older the girls get and the better the play becomes, they need to be loyal to their goals. I recently attended a college camp with my daughter and the coaches were extremely open. She shared that the goal is to play on the best talented teams, then worry about the politics and the relationships. The better talented teams get the better fields and ultimately, if your girl's goals are to play college ball, to be seen. Few coaches remain loyal to players anymore. I had to face the fact that the coaches want to win first and foremost. Please don't misunderstand me. My daughter has and had coaches that worked with her, allowed her to thrive, gave her a lot of play time, trained her in alternate positions and always has asked her back. HOWEVER, if other players' tryouts are better, or my daughter is having a bad day, or they hear of her trying out for other teams they will make it clear she needs to step it up or go. I guess my message is that you need to allow your girls to be part of the decision process, have them talk to their current coach if they decide to change, acknowledge these are difficult decisions but sometimes change is good, and that if they want to be the best they need to play with the best. Another quick opinion: If you daughter is a good pitcher, but not being taught a second position, you should look for a team that believes in teaching and allowing her to play an alternate position. After 14U, girls are expected to be proficient and competitive in at least 2 positions. I hope this helps! Good luck!

 

[flamethrower]

Irishluck, paragraphs are your friend.

 

[jacketsfan]

One thing you need to know - in spite of expert testimony to the contrary, there is nothing 'natural' about softball pitching. You accelerate and decelerate much quicker than young shoulders are meant to do. DO NOT let your daughter pitch that much at this age!

BTW - the above was told to me by my DD's orthopedic surgeon after my DD had surgery on her throwing (pitching) shoulder at age 15.

Also - win at all costs at 10U is more for parental bragging rights than it is for kids. Don't take chances - it's not worth it. She has plenty of softball left in her.

It is very difficult and emotional to leave a team. If you do it for the right reasons, though, it can be a really good thing.

 

[SoftballMomof2]

Jacketsfan -

Thanks for the reply.

We have been displeased with a number of things all season.

But to name a few;

1) Coach has repeatedly lied to both my daughters and multiple times.

2) We feel he singles our youngest DD out. He would argue otherwise, but I started paying attention to it more when another mom mentioned it.

3) Last year we were competitive which is what my oldest DD really wants. This year was barely more then rec league. Girls were on the team that could not throw, swing a bat NADA! It was more or less letting the coaches DD's friends on the team. Yeah it is good to learn to lose, however when you are losing 90% of your games it gets old and QUICK! The girls want to win. Winning is healthy! We should all go out there with the mind set of winning and putting forth 110% - Now with that being said I am not saying that winning is everything.

4) There is MAJOR "Daddy Ball" going on. His DD wants to play a position she whines til she gets it. We played our final tourney a couple weeks ago, because it was such a BIG DEAL he brought in some "other girls" as pick up players and in turn sat most of the reg girls except his daughter only sat once(out of 30 + innings). And being completely unclouded here in my judgement, his DD is no better then some of the other girls on our team. She played a position that she had never played before, bobbled the ball like crazy, made bad plays (at this age I know they are more prone to doing this), struck out EVERY at bat, yet was the #2 batter the ENTIRE tourney, every game. The girl who normally plays the position she played sat on the bench most of the time, only batting twice and playing 2 innings. Thats not fair and un-called for.

His DD back talks all the other coaches(assistants) etc. She rolls her eyes, gets mouthy and gets away with it. Every time someone calls her on it then tells her dad (the head coach) he does diddly squat. In my softball years, or any sport that I played for that matter, if I got mouthy I sat. My parents coached me for years. Beleive me, I seen my share of the bench. I don't think behavior such as this should be tolerated. She is very rude to the other kids, bosses them around. Outside of softball and away from her dad she does not act like this. With that being said, I know it can be hard coaching your kids, but you cannot let this stuff happen, and when it does nip it in the rear.

Maybe I am completely wrong. Of course I want me DD's team to win. But so does she. She pitches her butt off, and then when girls hit off her, her team cannont back her up or make plays, including catching and the drop 3rd strike. She is at the point skill wise that she needs to move up, infact probly could have this year. Her coach made comments to some other people that he felt that my dd might move up. So in some regards he expects it to some degree. I feel that whatever position she plays is a given. Like she really does not have to COMPETE AT ALL to be the number #1 pitcher. Now yea she is a good pitcher, works hard outside of practice, pitching lessons etc but with the new team she is going to have to compete with 3 other girls who are good pitchers. I feel this will make her better.

But in the end it comes down to what SHE WANTS and she has told her father and I numerous times that she wants to play on the new team. She likes the competiveness of it, that the other team mates are good players and she has to push herself harder. She is thrilled.

Jacketsfan, with all of my rambling I am curious as to if you think I am making the right decision. I don't want to make a decision for personal interests, or because the grass appears greener. But of course it's easier to see this situation from the outside in .

Thanks,
SoftballMomof2