The talk I was hoping wouldn't happen

Cannonball said:

No problem, I realize you are very busy this time of year.

If I may, and on this subject, I just talked to another player with a lot of ability that is feeling the pressure. This young lady is not from my school and so, she kind of opened up. She said that she knows she doesn't have any pressure from her parents BUT she feels like it because they have invested so much money in TB. In a way, she wants to quit. Yet, she still loves playing. After a few minutes, I told her that she was so confused. My advice was clear out the static. All of those things she thinks she knows and the concentrate on what she knows. First, she loves playing. Second, she knows her parents will support her no matter what. Next, she doesn't care what level she plays in college and now admitted to herself that her parents don't care as well. I think that was the breakthrough. She has a school that she really likes but it isn't what she thought her parents wanted and she didn't think she measured up. Once she allowed herself to think it through, and believe me, I did very little but listen, she "fixed herself." With NLI signings this coming week, she is no longer worried about her decision. Good for her. I hope this helps someone.

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Girls are so up and down! As I often quote, girls have to feel good to play good. Dd went from 19 home runs and no strike outs spring and summer to some singles and several strike outs in the fall. Going from players that expect you to win the game for them, to players that are stabbing backs and trying to keep everyone down to their level made a huge difference. Along with coaches (extremely nice coaches) that celebrate not getting totally destroyed in games, that is tough for girls that are used to a fairly good winning percentage.

redhotcoach said:

Girls are so up and down! As I often quote, girls have to feel good to play good. Dd went from 19 home runs and no strike outs spring and summer to some singles and several strike outs in the fall. Going from players that expect you to win the game for them, to players that are stabbing backs and trying to keep everyone down to their level made a huge difference. Along with coaches (extremely nice coaches) that celebrate not getting totally destroyed in games, that is tough for girls that are used to a fairly good winning percentage.

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Wow, that sounds tough to go through! I'll send a pm when I get a chance later tonight. Will head out to eat soon.

DD is on her way home now and told me she had a blast last night with the girls. They were up pretty late and had to get up early for a work out. Oh to be young again! This morning the coach told her to take a couple days to think about everything and then to give him a call with her answer. At this point she's all in but we'll sit down and talk about it tomorrow as a family. I'm working late today so I'll get all the details later.

redhotcoach said:

I hope your journey keeps going! I am just getting back into the dfp mood. Hope the weekend goes great for her!

We quickly went into the same boat with some lack of softball desire! As I have been texting 29dad, knight sb, and a few others (cannonball I need to touch base), we had huge expectations for fall "showcasing" and it was pretty disappointing. Dd hit just ok (smacking home runs against good pitching in practice but a bit mental in games). Her teams play…well end of season 16 gold practices were spent on base running basics that I taught at 10u…they were weak! Schedule, well…we saw 1 D1 coach first weekend who contacted about dd, after that I think I saw a total of 4 coaches (d3 and naia) at her games! Then weather, 2 of the 6 tourneys were cancelled and 2 of the 4 played were rained out on Sunday! A ton of disappointments that dd has taken as carma that it just wasn't meant to be.

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RHC...If I recall, your DD is a year or two younger than mine. The recruiting process has been a big stress on our family like many others, and we've made a lot of mistakes. We couldn't seem to get any coaches to come watch DD play until she started going to their clinics. Even then, she always got nervous talking to them up until about 6 months ago. I think actually talking to the coach is the #1 thing an athlete can do to help them get recruited but a lot of girls just feel too intimidated. We have a friend who rarely sees the field but got recruited to a very good D2 school- her father told me he thinks she just bugged them to death and she really has a fantastic personality. We had 2 girls on our team that only saw the field in about 3 games a weekend and one went to a D1 school and another to a D2. Both times, their parents told us that they just kept after the coaches and went to the clinics. When the coaches came to watch the one girl, she had a really bad day but the coaches loved her attitude. DD is a really sweet kid and coaches have always loved working with her, but she could have made it easier on herself if she would have been more aggressive in coach communications.
Your DD sounds like a beast! Maybe she can take some time off and then hit some clinics at some schools she's interested in. After, she could contact them later and invite them to the tournament.
Better get back to work...

iMlearning said:

DD is on her way home now and told me she had a blast last night with the girls. They were up pretty late and had to get up early for a work out. Oh to be young again! This morning the coach told her to take a couple days to think about everything and then to give him a call with her answer. At this point she's all in but we'll sit down and talk about it tomorrow as a family. I'm working late today so I'll get all the details later.

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Congratulations!

I thought it was going to happen earlier in the week, but yesterday DD verballed. I'm so glad that's over with!
Thanks everyone!

That's awesome. Now, her focus will change some to following that team and maybe, hopefully, finding another commit to share the time before actually going to college. BB did that with another young lady and it was pretty neat to finally meet the player and parents.

iMlearning said:

We couldn't seem to get any coaches to come watch DD play until she started going to their clinics. Even then, she always got nervous talking to them up until about 6 months ago. I think actually talking to the coach is the #1 thing an athlete can do to help them get recruited but a lot of girls just feel too intimidated. We have a friend who rarely sees the field but got recruited to a very good D2 school- her father told me he thinks she just bugged them to death and she really has a fantastic personality. We had 2 girls on our team that only saw the field in about 3 games a weekend and one went to a D1 school and another to a D2. Both times, their parents told us that they just kept after the coaches and went to the clinics. When the coaches came to watch the one girl, she had a really bad day but the coaches loved her attitude. DD is a really sweet kid and coaches have always loved working with her, but she could have made it easier on herself if she would have been more aggressive in coach communications.

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This is a really good post. Hope a lot of parents of kids being recruited will read it.

First of all, about your kid being nervous talking w/ coaches ... This whole process, which you correctly describe as stressful, is such great experience for kids beyond softball. The experience of standing in a line after a camp and shaking a coach's hand and making small talk and expressing thanks, that's great for them. Calling a coach on the phone, asking questions, it's just about the best thing about recruiting, the skills they're learning, how to be confident, assertive.

Then there is the experience of playing in front of a coach who is interested. My DD is being watched by a few schools, and she can't get a hit to save her life when the coaches are there. But she can't shake one particular coach despite her unimpressive play. Why? I guess it's her attitude. They've spoken with her, they just like her, believe she'll be a good teammate and student and can develop into a good player because of her attitude.

One other story about the importance of talking w/ a coach - My DD's team has a pitcher who is a junior and should be committed by now. But she's not. She and her family don't get the recruiting thing.

She goes to a mid-major's camp. I ask how it went.

''A waste of money. She didn't learn anything she didn't already know.''

''So did she talk to the coach afterward?''

''No, we just went home.''

Really? You were there to learn how to pitch?

Happy for you and your DD! Great story! I have been reading and was pulling for you!

iMlearning said:

I thought it was going to happen earlier in the week, but yesterday DD verballed. I'm so glad that's over with!
Thanks everyone!

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Congratulations!!!