- Jun 8, 2016
- 16,107
- 113
No I wouldn't say I am/was a perfectionist. More like I was obsessed with working hard and sort built my own identity as somebody who was going to outwork everybody, to the detriment of everybody around me and myself. When I was a teenager on holidays I would sulk because instead of being able to practice I had to go visit family. In graduate school, my Mom and sister visited me during spring break and I basically ignored them the whole time because I had HW to do. I missed a flight to my sister-in-law's wedding because I was working on a journal paper at the airport and I didn't want to stop (I made it eventually)..crap like that. It was a selfish need to outwork everybody else when most of the time half the work would have been just as good and would not have hurt other things (and people) in my life. Thing was that whenever I "accomplished" whatever it was I was working on, be it athletics or academics, I never really felt any joy about it..it was like I was chasing rainbows.Pattar, are you a perfectionist, by chance?
ETA: I tend to share a lot of what you describe. I’ve always attributed it to being a perfectionist. It does get completely exhausting.
I've gotten better over time but I still don't enjoy watching my DD play softball, because while I love working with her, I have a hard time enjoying the actual product of the work we do together. I go because she (usually...) wants me there and I love her.
Last edited: