THE WORKHORSE how do we find the healthy boundary?

[radness]

A tribute post to one of DFP most famous @pattar.
Tip of the hat to you!

Their are players/people who push themselves so hard it becomes a crushing load. School and sports combined.
Can affect sleep, eating, body fatigue, mental stress/fatigue.

How can we address this workhorse mentality type to find healthy expectations, perhaps limits?

Related topics~
When parents push too much.
When coaches push too much.

DFP Bring on Solutions!



One of the tools share to use is
for time management ~ a dry erase board or calendar for the player. (something other than phone to look at)
A monthly chart, with weekly view.
On it goes daily schedule Can see tasks to do, AND be able to see tasks achieved! It has times of tasks to be done.
Helps organize time. Instead of tasks taking control of time.
We also only have so much time in a day. Things take what like to call 'physical time'. How much physical time does it REALLY take to schedule our tasks?
Have to add things like, eating, drive time, SLEEP exctra.
Some are good at managing time already.
Others this can HELP A LOT !

*Dry erase board also a great tool to remove helicopter parenting! Assigns responsibility without the nag nag! They get to see accomplishments!

 

[_MIA_]

 

[radness]

because its important!

 

[Ksphenom]

Define "crushing load" school plus the following....?
Monday: 1.5 hour practice
Tuesday: 2 hours practice + .50 music practice
Wed.: 1.5 hour practice + 1 hour paid music lesson
Thursday: 2.5 to 3 hour practice / 20 minute music practice
Friday: 1.5 hour practice optional 1-2 hour practice
Sat. Only once a month - Weight training (core emphasis) 1 hour
Sun: 3 hour practice
13 to 15 hours a week. I guess if all you do is train you don't know any other way.

Edit: she's adding an extra hour a week of batting w/college level pitcher tossing at her. I think she's taking a Friday off with holidays approaching.
Edit again: this week she added 5 to 6 am crosstraining class going forward.. Lol

 

[BT3100]

Sunday: 6 hour travel practice
Running, pitching, fielding, hitting

Monday 1 hour gym heavy, 30 minute run 1 hour pitching 4 hours at work

Tuesday HS workout 2 hours 1 hour travel hitting

Wednesday 30 minute run 1 hour gym 4 hours work

Thursday HS workout 2 hours 1 hour pitching lesson

Friday 30 minute run 1 hour pitching 3 hours work

Saturday morning off afternoon 4 hours work

That's her schedule, she wanted to pick up a PT job at chic filla.. she sets her own schedule and will drop something if she feels pressure. Also carrying full AP workload at school.
No time to get into trouble
And she won't be shell shocked when she gets to college

 

[erniekru]

I feel like the name of the thread "how do we define a healthy boundary" is different than the meat of the post which is (me paraphrasing) organization..

Defining a healthy boundary only comes from observing your kid. Most kids will burn out of sport, its always been that way and will continue that way. The problem is when the workload burns out the kid vs lack of playing time/love of the sport does. Burning out due to workload is the problem that a parent can help with and what I believe the title of the thread implies.

One thing that I have learned through this process is just how long of a process this is, and my DD is only a freshman. I constantly fight the urge to try and solve all of my DD's "problems" at one time (right now). It's a blancing act. Wanting my DD to play like Sally AllAmerican at her age is not realistic. My goal is to have my DD playing to the best of her abilities by end of soph year. She works hard and is in the right place, just slow and steady work will hopefully get us there.

M-2hrs water polo
T-2hrs HS softball, 1hr Strength & Cond, 1hr batting
W-2hrs water polo, church
Th-2hrs HS softball, 1hr S&C (sometimes), 1hr catching
Fr-2hrs softball
Sat-1hr S&C, 3hr travel practice
Sun-3hr travel practice

 

[_MIA_]

HS is different. You have parents telling you that you need to get sleep and making sure you get it.

In college there are 3 types of people. Those who know how to manage everything properly, including their health. Those who waste time. Then there are people like me who are not able to strike a balance. If I needed to study 5 hours for a test I would study 10. If I was suppose to workout for an hour I would be in there for two hours. If Fall practice started in Sept (for good reasons..) I would find somebody on campus to throw to me in August. Sounds great right except there are only so many hours in the day and so what I sacrificed was sleep and consequently my health. There were some weeks where if I got 25 hours I was lucky.

This is the type of person Rad was talking about...extreme Type A/ overachiever types bordering on obsessive. I still have issues with life balance but having kids has helped.

To be honest I think males are more prone to this type of issue..women seem a lot better at striking a good balance.

 

[_MIA_]

I also have no idea what a parent can do if your kid is like this. My parents would constantly tell me I needed to relax but I was going to be the next Ozzie Smith and Theodore von Karman all rolled into one and nobody was going to get in my way. Thing is, the only person who was actually getting in my way was me...

 

[Vertigo]

Pattar, are you a perfectionist, by chance?

ETA: I tend to share a lot of what you describe. I’ve always attributed it to being a perfectionist. It does get completely exhausting.

 

[ANNASDAD]

I was going to be the next Ozzie Smith and Theodore von Karman all rolled into one

Set the bar high why don’t you.....no pressure whatsoever!

I’ve got to admit, I have definitely called you a head case once or twice here, but that’s what makes your posts so interesting!