The Reality of Travel Ball...

[KCM]

My wife and another coach's wife do social media checks on all our girls from 12U to 16U.

If there is problem we want to know about it but more important we want to stop a problem before it becomes a problem.

I think most folks here on this site probably do trust their kids on social media it is that they do not trust the remaining population of the world. Freaky creepy predators are good con-artists.

I say good job to you for being a positive influence in this child's life.

 

[nikkilugi]

Agree with Easton33. You can talk to your kids about making good decisions but they are still kids. Heck, even adults make bad decisions - the difference is that you have a responsibility as the parent of your child to watch them and if they do wrong you can be blamed as well.

My son just was 13 and was involved in a group text situation. He was making some very tasteless jokes because he likes to make his stupid friends laugh. He then sent a cartoon image of a fox with her breasts exposed. A cartoon mind you. A mother of another child saw this, took offense of his jokes and went to the police. She pressed charges and the police charged him with distribution of pornography - of sending a cartoon of exposed breasts.

- I was in the camp of some of you above, I talk to my kids constantly of being good, kind people. The importance of making good, smart decisions - and then your child gets with some other kids that think it is funny to make rude jokes and send questionable pictures and you become a non-factor as a parent. Your opinion is not as important as those friends'. Just sayin. It happens - we are an upper middle class family in a fairly affluent area with kids that make A's and B's in school (my son does) and now he has a juvenile record.

Watch your kids. Monitor their accounts. Ask to see their phones every once in a while. They are not adults, they are kids.

 

[T.J.]

Also you are running a fine line of stalking so be careful.

It sounds like the OP might have a license or be in a profession that allows him/her to do this type of monitoring.

 

[ddtimes4]

I agree. If your kid is on social media, you need to at least randomly check it. We are in an important game and a top player is either crying or in a daze the entire game. Barely, trying in the field....it was obvious something was wrong. The parent is upset with me because she thinks dd got chewed out for something. Later that night, i got a note saying it turned out to be some bullying/teasing crap going on on facebook. The parent apologized later. Its ok to trust your kids but there are a bunch of idiots out there online!!!!!

 

[TMoney]

I trust my DD's to make good decisions, but if they ask to go to Florida for spring break, I'm not going to just throw them the keys to the car. You can monitor your kids actions without being intrusive.

 

[Jquick823]

God love ya if ya do have the time & energy to help parent a child that does not have one - but it is not the responsibility of a coach.

Also you are running a fine line of stalking so be careful.

It kind of irks me that you want to judge a dad just based on the fact that he was not aware of one nights social media rants from a mood-swing teen.

But WHAT IF it wasn't just a one night social media rant from a mood-swing teen? WHAT IF she was thinking of something more drastic? I was not willing to sit around and be reactionary so I chose the normally painful proactive route and addressed it. Un-popular maybe, creepy that I follow the players, maybe, able to sleep knowing a possible issue was addressed and presented to the unknowing parent, absolutely.

As for judging the parent, yep I like all judge. As a coach I get judged every second I'm teaching a skill. So don't think I as a person aren't judging parents that are not aware of their child's activities. You judged me in your post as a stalker, implied or not the perception is there.

But I think your stance on this is valuable so thank you.

 

[T.J.]

But WHAT IF it wasn't just a one night social media rant from a mood-swing teen? WHAT IF she was thinking of something more drastic? I was not willing to sit around and be reactionary so I chose the normally painful proactive route and addressed it. Un-popular maybe, creepy that I follow the players, maybe, able to sleep knowing a possible issue was addressed and presented to the unknowing parent, absolutely.

As for judging the parent, yep I like all judge. As a coach I get judged every second I'm teaching a skill. So don't think I as a person aren't judging parents that are not aware of their child's activities. You judged me in your post as a stalker, implied or not the perception is there.

But I think your stance on this is valuable so thank you.

As TMoney said you can monitor without being intrusive or an overbearing parent.

One of the difficult parts of all this is how you react....or learning how to react. Having a knee-jerk reaction to everything can be tough on kids, families or whoever is involved. It sounds like you (JQuick) handled it pretty respectfully.

 

[RubberBiscuit]

That is a bit of a stretch. The described activity is not even close to criminal stalking.

No not "criminal" stalking - but label of stalker from the team. Watch how fast that can happen.....

 

[riseball]

It sounds like the OP might have a license or be in a profession that allows him/her to do this type of monitoring.

You mean permission to view information freely posted in a public forum? Where do you get such permission?

 

[RubberBiscuit]

But WHAT IF it wasn't just a one night social media rant from a mood-swing teen? WHAT IF she was thinking of something more drastic? I was not willing to sit around and be reactionary so I chose the normally painful proactive route and addressed it. Un-popular maybe, creepy that I follow the players, maybe, able to sleep knowing a possible issue was addressed and presented to the unknowing parent, absolutely.

As for judging the parent, yep I like all judge. As a coach I get judged every second I'm teaching a skill. So don't think I as a person aren't judging parents that are not aware of their child's activities. You judged me in your post as a stalker, implied or not the perception is there.

But I think your stance on this is valuable so thank you.

Just to be clear, which I wasn't, I was meaning to try and be potentially protective of you IF the team got word you were getting involved with their personal life like that (unless this was declared as what will happen as being part of that team). Social media effects are complicated but I think parenting is the job of the parent and the rest of us can run ourselves ragged if we take on the responsibility of all the missing or bad parenting out there.