Stressed out Softball Parent - Help!

[AllDay]

Hello Folks,

I love being a Father and helping my daughters grow, achieve their sports related goals, and have fun playing the game. But I would be lying if I didn't admit to getting a bit stressed out with the never ending requests for this or that. Dad,"I need to get a physical, I need a ride to practice, I need a ride from practice, i want to try out for this team/that team, I need a new glove/new bat, did you sign me up for the clinic, I need someone to catch for me, play catch with me, my friend needs a ride".... I could go on and on and on.

Now understand that my wife has somehow abandoned all sports related activities, resists requests, and has left me as the designated Softball Parent. If it were left up to her, they likely wouldn't be playing and definitely not as well as they are. So the burden lies on me to assist my DD's in their efforts.

I'm starting to lose patience and get easily aggravated. For example, I walked in the house today from work, put on my headphones and just rocked out to some good music as I walked around my family. This was my way of relaxing, avoiding, or escaping from the next request, sibling argument, etc.

I know that I'm not the only one like this. Share your tips, suggestions, advice, etc.

 

[ROCKNFIRE]

What fortunate person you are. I wish more parents had these problems to deal with. Im not being sacarastic here. Look at the B/S that some other parents are dealing with. some are spending thier time helping a child with a learning disability,or with a terrible diease like cancer ,mabey a blind child, or some other crazy curve ball that life has thrown at them. Look at all the potential pot holes that kids have to try and avoid, and in some cases with a single parent or mabey no parents, because the parents are so wrapped up in thier own twisted world. In my opionion you are so lucky to have a child that loves this game. The game has so much to offer, and I will quote (the game will always be there for us) Embrase that. They are your kids, and are only this age once. I know sometimes it isnt easy and thats why sometimes its ok to take a little break, maybe ask for some help, get a little prospective and go back outside and play catch with your DD. Sounds like somone did that for you once or twice .From what I read in your post you are an awsome parent. I am a little thown and concerned by the spouse comment . You simply seem a little tired, kind like a child in the last inning of a disaster game( I know you have been there),we all have. Think about what a good Leader(coach)in your opinon would say to you. Notice I printed GOOD leader/coach ?, because there are not so good of leaders out there , in my opinion. Im sure later this summer you will have to give the hang in there speach to your kids . Now you have another experiance to pull from. Its up to you to determine how the story ends. Did you give up, or drive straight through the wall. I sure you will be fine.

 

[maksoftball]

I'm sorry, but I don't think you will find sympathy here. Most of us are fanatics about our kids doing sports (softball) and would bend over backwards to make sure the girls got the best instruction, teams, coaches, etc...no complaints. The only sympathy that is shared here is getting HBP (hit by pitch) when catching for our DDs, long/hard weekend tournaments that wear us out, and struggles in helping our DDs get through slumps, mechanical difficulties, etc. We show remorse for those whose DD's have quit the sport or have to take a break due to injuries or commitment to another sport.

So, think about what you said...when you have kids, you signed up for this...all of it. Good luck to you and your DDs. Enjoy the break when they are off to college...we all hope to enjoy the break, but I seriously doubt we will as we will be missing these days that we have now with our kids.

 

[JAD]

My wife is a HUGE help (team mom), so I am not in the same situation as you, but our lives are still CRAZY because of softball, and our family and friends think we are NUTS, but every time I think we should slow down and take a break, I listen to the Trace Adkins song "You're Going to Miss This".....and we load up the SUV and head out again!

 

[David Carter]

Be thankful your kids are the ones constantly excited about softball. Really like the get organized idea lots of good suggestions.

Hang in there when you look back on it you will cherish the memories, somehow the good ones always come to the forefront and bad one fade for the most part.

Also along with the get organized idea make a plan for family fun time that does not involve softball.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

You are the lucky one. The girls want to be with you. So many girls don't want anything to do with their parents. I didn't dislike being the parent that was involved. If DD needed a bat, I bought it. No running the purchase past the other parent. I would love it if I had 2 daughters wanting to play ball, at the end of the day.

 

[MsDinosaur]

In our house, I'm the designated softball parent. My husband isn't interested in softball at all and hates the shrill screams, the dirt blowing in his face, the crowds, the sunburns, the hard bleachers: basically everything about going to games and practices. As much as I usually enjoy having him around, I finally realized there would be less stress all around if I simply allowed him to stay home. So we have an understanding that the day-to-day softball stuff is mine to handle. However, if something comes up that I cannot cover, he will jump in.

Luckily, I'm a fanatic who really enjoys watching softball, talking about softball and shuttling her around to all of her various lessons/ practices/camps/games...

My main tip would be to stick up a big calendar and get everything written down on it.

You have more than one girl who plays? When one needs/wants to play catch, they should play catch with each other. They should also be out in the yard front tossing for bunts, tossing each other fly balls, etc. If they want you to run them around and pay out your money so they can play, X number of hours of helping each other practice every week is mandatory.

I have an only child and I used to go out and play catch with her until I got hit hard last October. After that, I bought her a good quality Louisville Slugger pitchback net (the cheap pitchbacks are useless IMO) and now she uses it to practice by herself. She can also bring out a hitting net, tee and balls and do tee work alone. If only one of your girls is home, she could certainly do that if it's an evening where you need time to relax.

Perhaps the next time you've taken them to a practice, you could go off and take some quiet time for yourself--like go get an ice cream cone and stroll around window shopping or go take a walk in a park, etc.

 

[chinamigarden]

My son is away at college. He is going to stay there the whole summer, has a job and an apartment.

I miss him bugging me to take him here and take him there. Spending my money on his sports related gear... Believe me when I say be careful for what you wish for. Besides she is just softening you up for when she is old enough to drive, because life gets so much easier when they are driving themselves to and from practice...

"but Dad think about how great it will be when I can drive myself everywhere, don't think of it as buying me a car, think of it as buying yourself so much freedom"

 

[MandM]

You know AllDay- I appreciate your honesty- and truthfully there was a day last week when I said to my husband- I am so tired of this - I am tired of running around, I am tired of catching, blah blah, I needed to vent because I WAS tired and aggravated. And then I felt better, and was back catching and driving around the next day. OILF has given you some practical advice which I think is very valuable. I also have limited new equipment acquisition to b-days and christmas as well. Get your girls involved in helping/organizing you- I think that they would like that and it would make them be part of and invested in the process. With regard to travel- I work as does my husband. There was a team that I would have loved DD to be on- but I told her it was GUD (geographically un-desirable)- you can limit where your DDs play to make it easier on yourself- I did.

I can only say that if you think sports are important for your DDs - then at certain ages, only you can make it happen. Be happy your DDs want to play catch with you and be with you, those days are going to fly by!

 

[rdbass]

AllDay,
Look on the brightside gives the wife more time for housework.

A JOKE A JOKE A JOKE
I cook dinner.