Stressed out Softball Parent - Help!

[Amy in AZ.]

I suspect that the wife is working a 40hr. a week job, plus taking care of a family. If not, she has her priorities wrong.

 

[nanotech14]

Life is full of ups and downs, you know that for sure. You never know when today could be your last or worse your childs last. You need to think about that day, when your baby took her first breath and the love you felt the first time you seen them. That is only time where love is at first sight. I understand it can get hard, I have been a single father, since my Emily was 15 months old. We have laughed together and cried together, I almost lost her last January 2012, my whole life was crumbling right before my eyes, at 13 years old my dd was fighting for her life. It is been a long year, she hasn't been cleared to play this sport, that she loves. We still practice together, she is hoping her Dr. will change, his mind about her playing again. We practice blindly not knowing if she will play again, but maybe that's not the point, maybe we both are still going, because it is time we share that no one can come between or take away.

 

[DOG310]

My wife "lets" me do most of the softball, volleyball, track stuff. I do all the practices, pitching lessons, batting lessons, workouts, buying of sport equipment, etc. (although when work is an issue she does step in to help) I love it and wouldn't have it any other way.

I do understand how after a long hard week it can get a bit tiresome, but as others have said the time does fly. I'm grateful DD wants to spend time with an old grump like me. I have several friends that tell me I am crazy to spend all of my spare time with my DD, but I think they are the crazy ones.

 

[11smom]

I think we all go through this at some point....the overwhelming business of this softball life. I am very lucky that my husband is as involved as I am, and the burden doesn't fall on only one of us. We both are at every lesson, practice and game whenever possible and truly love it. We joke that our "date nights" are at the softball fields. There is not much time for other activities in life. I am sorry that your wife doesn't enjoy and participate with you. I think it is her loss, as our kids do grow too quickly, and may regret it some day. Thanks for being a great Dad who is involved with his kids. I'm sure they appreciate it, although you may not hear it enough. Try to take some time for yourself to re-group, and best wishes to you.

 

[jinjet95]

If it's not softball, it's work or something else. You're doing the right thing by trying to carve out a little bit of 'you' time so you can enjoy the softball stuff. I understand your position. My DD has been involved in every activity imaginable. My DH and I spent most of our off time either as a spectator or chauffer. While we enjoy every minute of it, it does get overwhelming at times. Our DD got her driver's license and a car this winter. She now drives herself to training, practice and school. (We still drive her to hitting lessons 40 min away and of course, attend all games.) I now have time to exercise and cook more at home to hopefully keep off the 40 lbs I've gained and lost countless times. It's a two-edged sword. While I love having the time to do the things for myself that I've put off in the past, I really miss the car time with her.

 

[AllDay]

I suspect that the wife is working a 40hr. a week job, plus taking care of a family. If not, she has her priorities wrong.

Hi Amy,

We both are working 40 hours a week and taking care of the family. As I type this write now - I'm about to go drop 2 of my 3 daughters off to different practices in different sports. And had to leave for lunch early today to take care of something for my oldest daughter - while my disgruntled boss mumbles something. My co-workers jokingly call me a "Stay-at Work Dad" because of my level of activity and ability to make it to every game...lol....while working a 9 to 5 job.

I'm managing the growth and development of 3 beautiful girls and 99% of the time it's great but I have recently concluded that I have to carve out some space for myself as well. And trust me with all that has been insinuated here - you will not find a more devoted and supportive father than me - but even good dads can use a break too.

Ok - I'm done whining - gotta go drop the kids off....lol.

 

[29dad]

Allday - I empathise. I have a 14 year old DD in travel softball, a 12 year old DS in travel baseball, and a 5 year old. I LOVE watching them play. But I also love playing golf, and I think I've only played three rounds of golf in the last three years. Anyway, your post hit home and just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

 

[Jr10234]

I am thankful my weekdays and weekends are full of softball and cheering my kid on, and finally seeing success! I don't envy my friend who spends all her time at counseling sessions, court, and juvenile detention centers when they locate her 15- year old after 3 days gone. So my third trip to school in two days, and re-arranging my work schedule for game changes are a blessing because l know where she is, who she is with, and how much she loves the game.

Edited to add: I get burnt out too, staying positive, taking time to be crazy, laugh and have a drink once in a while during practice with other crazy parents is great, and major stress relief.

 

[AllDay]

MandM,

I needed to vent and did so in my post. Thanks for replying. Be glad that you have a spouse that you can vent too. My beloved Wife gives me about 60 seconds a week to tell her what's going on in Softball land.

Part of the problem is that I am very much involved in the organizational aspects of Softball in our area. I absolutely had to get involved to improve the program for my girls and their friends - and I have without a shadow of a doubt done that. So, in some ways it's not just the regular Softball parent stuff that I'm dealing with. It's also having to deal with the ego's of adults (i.e., League Pres/Board of Directors) in leadership positions with bad leadership skills and no vision who ignorantly stifle the potential of dozens of girls.....and even the sport itself.

I'll stop here - my vent is complete. For now...lol.

 

[Cannonball]

AllDay, I'm a straight shooter and so, I wonder if your tongue isn't in cheek. I can't tell you how much I miss that. My dd grew up a pitcher. So, pitching lessons, pitching practice and then, naturally, she played other positions and hit. In fact, as most member know here, she hit every day. So, she was delivered to the high school baseball diamond and after I had thrown a few hundred BP pitches, run a 4 hour practice and taught all day, I got to be dad and work with her. Now, I sit at home and hope she sends dad a text once in a while. I sit sometimes and think back to her childhood and all that we did. My dd and our dalmation dog were inseperatable. Our dog has died and BB has grown up so I won't get that back. I hope your tongue was in cheek because you are so blessed to have young daughters who want to play sport and who will grow so much from softball. I wouldn't trade one second of my time with my child.

Edited to add:

Per my wife, for a large part of this she was working 50 to 60 hour weeks in her business. Then, our lives changed when her mother fell sick and bounced in and out of a coma for 5 years 5 months and 6 days. She spent every night sitting by her mom for that time and never missed one day.