Out of my mind....need advice dealing with HS program

[Greenknight]

In the past three years HS coach has done or allowed the following:

*Allowed girls to eat bagels, chips candy, hot dogs on bench during games.

*Allowed spectators to ride team bus during sectional playoffs.

*On southern trip to SC, we arranged to use local HS field (school was in session for them) some girls on team took off shirts ran around field chasing assistant coach with sports bra's on.

*Had players read a personal email sent to him from a parent who was not pleased with his program. Daughter of parent was about to be harrassed before one player stepped in to stop them.

*Night before sectional final game, players went to his classroom to make warmup shirts to be worn on field prior to game. On shirts they wrote FSU across front which stands for F*** S*** UP and on sleeves the phrase "We will kick your ASH if you think you are hot SHIP". Shirts were worn on field by all except three players who refused.

*Has cancelled 12 practices out of 42 days (have had 4 games to date).

*Ripped on three players after a loss saying they would not play at next level. One is currently a freshman in college playing D3 and having a great season, one is junior in HS and has already verballed to a Big East school, other is freshman in HS.

*Two captains asked for longer practices with more emphasize on fundamentals and development, his response " No, we are just going to have fun".

*Allows swearing including f word.

*Girls miss practices and still start next day.

* Has told a parent "You know I have my favorites".

Asked to meet with coach but he feels it is not necessary to meet.

This is everything that has gone on with this coach. We tried to address with AD last year but to no avail. Need advice as to what might work to get this guys out. Daughters love sport and are looking to go to track next year.

Or am I off my rocker and should not make a big deal out of this.

 

[Ken Krause]

You seem to think high school softball is a democracy, where the people (parents and players) have a say in what happens, or should have a say. It's not. Without trying to be inflammatory, it's a dictatorship. The coach doesn't have to listen to you or care what you think because you can't just find another team like you can in travel ball. Your choices are live with it, go to a private school (assuming you're currently in public school), move gto another school district or don't play.

As for the AD, if it doesn't involve football or boys basketball -- the revenue sports -- he could probably care less what happens. Also keep in mind that if the coach is a teacher, which it sounds like he is, he and the AD are co-workers. They may even be friends. You, on the other hand, are nothing to him.

Some of the stuff you mention seems pretty minor. You may not like them eating on the bench, but that's the coach's option. Same with girls missing practice and starting the next day. It may not be "right" but that's his choice. As long as he has the same rules for everyone he can do whatever he wants.

Some of the other stuff is less acceptable. If you're going to get anything done it will likely have to be by a sympathetic Board member. But keep in mind they have a lot bigger issues on their minds.

 

[Greenknight]

Public Schools

You are correct in that it is a public school. I agree some stuff is minor but there are things if they stand on their own should be grounds for dismissal (Profanity implied t-shirts, allowing students to read emails from parents, girls running around in sports bra's, cancelling to date over 25% of practices). These tied in with the rest should get this guy fired. We have a new AD and hope is she reviews everything and moves to find someone who cares about the girls and program.
Girls are being cheated out of not only quality learning but everything that goes into a sports team ; social time, bonding etc. all because coach only cares about game day, paycheck and do not make him look bad by losing as he has smart rear remarks when players make a mistake.

 

[sluggers]

What Ken said...

 

[PA SB Dad]

None of the things you mentioned will get a coach/teacher fired. It might get them a warning or a talking to, but fired - No. For example, reading an email from a parent to the rest of the team. Do you actually think email is private? He could have forwarded the email to every parent in the HS and made a huge joke about it and there is nothing you can do about it - do not have expectations of privacy when you email anything!

HS coaches don't have to listen to parents or players (nor should they), otherwise you would have chaos. A good coach should live up to your expectations, particularly when it comes to issues around favoritism, bullying, team decorum, etc., but they are not obligated to in the same way they are not obligated to listen to you about who pitches tomorrow or who bats clean up. When the head coach is ineffective, the leaders on the team need to step up when the coach does not, and that is where you and the other parents have some influence and control. You have the ability to sit your kids down and let them know that certain things that they have done are not acceptable to you as parents, and that you expect better of them, even if the coach does not. The coach is not their parent, and you should not expect him to police your kids. If your daughter is not conducting herself appropriately as a member of the team, she sits at home, not on the bench. Change the things you have control over, and don't worry about the things you cannot.

 

[T Red]

Daughter of parent was about to be harrassed before one player stepped in to stop them.

To me this is serious. Sometimes teenagers can't forget things like this and move on with their lives.

I agree with most everything said. I can easily overlook lots of the issues.

However, who's going to stand up for the students?

 

[starsnuffer]

I agree with Ken.

And while the OP is correct that the coach "shouldn't" let this stuff happen in a perfect world, the truth is that it is the players who are doing all of the activities that the OP is complaining about. The OP is simply upset that the coach is allowing the activities.

It sounds like there is a lack of general self integrity amongst the students in this community. The guidance and instruction for such a trait comes from responsible parenting, not from state-worker babysitting. I'm curious as to where the OP lives?

-W

 

[Greenknight]

New York. Problem is most of these girls play 2-3 sports and in no way are those programs run in this manner by the other coaches. As a matter of fact these same girls work hard and are respectful because it is their number one sport (i.e soccer, basketball) I have been a coach for over 20 years of three different sports. I have never seen another program run this way. The few girls on this team who make it their number sport did not partake in those questionable activities. Coach simply does not want to put in time to teach, enhance program. He also coaches JV soccer, JV basketball, is advisor for master minds and head of Social studies department and has two little kids at home.

 

[D.G. OutLaws 16u]

Need advice as to what might work to get this guys out. Daughters love sport and are looking to go to track next year.

Or am I off my rocker and should not make a big deal out of this.

To get this guy out? Nothing really except having evey teamember quit.
Petition signing perhaps would stir up the Board....have all the disgrunteled parents show up at the next school board meeting, speak your mind during the 'community comments' portion of the meeting. This would force the Board to 'investigate'....you never know. Maybe there are coaching conduct and performance guidline failures.

Your not off your rocker. This is why a lot of high level TB players choose not to play HS ball.... My DD who is a high level TBaller is also on a disfunctional HS team and is having an absolute blast!! Getting silly out there with all her friends is refreshing for her.

 

[Greenknight]

Just last night he had to call a time out, walked out to pitcher and talked about how to throw a pitch out. He yelled at same girl twice about not going from 1st to 3rd on a bunt and run (She stopped on second both times). I quess those 12 practices he has cancelled could have come in handy.