Out of my mind....need advice dealing with HS program

[joemcq51]

Lets look at some of the issues you spoke of.

Girls running around in sports bras- While I do not agree with the behavior, it is no different than a female soccer player taking off her jersey and espn replaying it over and over.

Parents on the bus- Not a fan, but it sounds like several parents on your team are. Probably have trouble finding support at your own high school on this issue.

T-Shirts with profanity assumptions- Again, I wouldn't do it, but if the school and the coach don't have issue with it, I would let it slide. Sounds like they didn't force any players to wear something they didn't agree with.

I am not saying that I would like my DD playing for this school. Perhaps you should look into all of your options. Schools usually support the coach unless you can show gross misconduct. If you feel this is the case, you need to get as much support as you can. Present a united front to the school and speak rationally, not emotionally. Might be better to just let your DD go run track and stick to TB.

 

[rowdy]

Most softball coaches in HS are coaches of other sports that are forced to coach softball. You need to have a different attitude for HS ball and just remember it is only a couple of weeks until travel ball starts.

 

[PAcoach]

Though the coach sounds like he doesn't have any class, i agree with others and you may be stuck with him, sounds like he has Tenure.
The made shirts is what gets me. At our school, that may be enough to either get him canned, or a couple days off. It also would get the players suspended for a game or so. It violates the code of conduct, signed by coaches, players and parents.

 

[Greenknight]

He has tenure but coaching is a year to year contract. As I said he gets walked all over by most of the girls. Most parents are just happy their kid is playing so do not want to rock the boat. My daughters in no way need him or program to get to next level but they do want to play for their school and with their friends. What they want is a coach to show up EVERYDAY and put forth an effort instead of showing up on game day and yelling at the girls for making mistakes.

 

[sluggers]

There are two issues:

(1) Is the coach following "best practices" or even "good practices" as to coaching?
(2) What should the Daddy do about it?

Many, perhaps most coaches, in HS or TB are not very good. A lot of HS and TB coaches are inadequate coaches. But, so what? As to HS, it is simply dumb luck whether you get a good or bad coach--you live in one area, and one kid goes to a school coached by a softball genius. You buy a house two streets over and your kid gets coached by someone who has trouble spelling "softball".

Daddies complain about everything. If his DD isn't pitching enough, the coach is an idiot. If the DD is pitching, then the coach doesn't practice enough. If the team practices enough, then the coach isn't teaching the right thing. If the coach is teaching the right things, then the coach yells too much and the girls are afraid of her/him. If the coach never yells, then the coach is a cream puff and the girls "don't respect her/him." It never ends... At the same time, some Daddies are simply helicopter parents who "protect" their DD from all of life's little inconveniences (e.g., "stupid people").

A Daddy who complains too much will steal the HS sports experience from the DD. It is part of the experience to learn how to deal with coaches and teammates.

Unless a kid's physical well-being is threatened, Daddies should stand back, offer moral support to their DD, and let the DD handle it.

 

[Greenknight]

Serious

So let me get this right your OK with girls running around in sports bra's, boyfriends on team bus, swearing going unchecked, warmup t-shirts with implied swearing printed on them, brunch on the bench, practice being optional when he does have it, girls being yelled at for making mistakes during games, girls being ripped on and told they are not good and don't worry about playing in college because you suck we lost and you made me look bad so this loss goes on you and not me all the while collecting thousands of dollars at the end of the season and I am to only step in when he physically or sexually assualts my daughters.
So I am to tell my daughters to suck it up, Life Lessons #1 When you get a job occaionally show up, do as little as possible, blame everyone else, and ask for a raise every chance you get.
Wow I guess I've been wrong these past 18 years raising my kids.

 

[Lozza]

So let me get this right your OK with girls running around in sports bra's,

Yup. It's not like they don't wear less at the beach.

boyfriends on team bus,

No. It's saving petrol. If they're making out on the back of the bus, that's different, but physically being on the bus? No.

swearing going unchecked, warmup t-shirts with implied swearing printed on them,

I'm a little bit more blase about swearing than most people on this board. I don't see it being a huge deal. It says more about the girls themselves, and that's something they need to find out for themselves.

brunch on the bench,

Nope.

practice being optional when he does have it, girls being yelled at for making mistakes during games, girls being ripped on and told they are not good and don't worry about playing in college because you suck we lost

This I do have an issue with. That is the sign of a bad coach to me and you should be focusing on this rather than letting the above stuff distract you from the real issue. By putting everything else in, you're making it so big a problem that it sounds like you're overexagarating.

I'd be going to the AD based on the practises alone. Better yet, get your daughter to do it. That's something she needs to learn.

 

[amanda_cake]

The sports bra thing would NOT fly at my school. Just wouldn't. I personally don't think that's appropriate. At practice, we can't wear little tank tops or anything. Everything must be covered. No short shorts without sliding shorts underneath (that's not really an issue anyway).

Boyfriends on the bus... no. I don't let the girls I coach in rec ball talk to their boyfriends (or friends for the matter) from the time we warm up until the time we play. It's just not cool having boyfriends on the bus, that would not fly here either. Baseball and softball ride to away games together, so there's no room for boyfriends at my school.

Little snacks on the bench? Not an issue. Cheeseburger, nachos, french fries? That would be an issue.

Practice situation wouldn't fly either... Idk. I think I'm along the same line of thinking as the OP on most of this.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

My husband has an annoying saying "People treat you the way you allow them to treat you." My guess is that your DD is learning nothing positive by being on this team. Talk to whomever you can (coach, principal, AD) and tell them why your family will not be associated with any further non-sense.

 

[wild man]

I dont Know how far you want to take this but if you want him gone there may be one way.
Go to the local newspaper and tell your story. BUT Rmember if it does not work you and any one involved will have sh## on your face in a major way. But if its bad enough That is what I would do.