Keep your ears and eyes open "be cautious about this" thread, good stuff

[Topdog@3rd]

Along the same lines as that topic and now you all have my guard up again, (as it should be). I have a 13 and 15 yr old. Coach has been around long time. Great coach and a real sucess story. He has one parent meeting and explains to 1 or 2 newbees in the fall, all discussions travel threw the dd's. NO parent input, other than hi, by and great game stuff. This includes email and phone. She has never received a call from him but info threw email at times.

??? weard??? I should just keep an eye on emails I guess.
Again as the other post said BE CAUTIOUS. Never get complacent. I did, it our nature.
But I'm thankful for that thread. Back on high alert =0)

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Hopefully, this guy is "A OK." But, I just read too many examples lately where a respected coach, teacher, priest, grocery store owner, etc. was meeting underaged girls. In fact, I read them every day.

I don't know why this guy is setting himself up to have someone accuse him of something, but that is how I see it.

Coaches need to be cautious, too. And I am much more leery of even being alone with a girl, at lessons, or giving one a ride, anymore.

It is my opinion that a coach should communicate openly with parents. If he wants to text Suzy, that same text needs to go to you.

During this parent's meeting, no one spoke up and said " We don't give Suzy full reign of a cell phone. You need to contact me?"

 

[Ivy's Dad]

I don't understand why he can't cc: the parents' email address. Lack of communication is the predominant cause of failure.

 

[SoftSocDad]

While things can vary on an individual basis, I see it as acceptable to communicate directly with the 15yo, but not acceptable to communicate directly with the 13yo. It's an arbitrary selection on my part, but for me, 14 is the number. But as the previous posters have stated, the parents should receive the same information. It's a no-brainer, given the ease of cc'g on email and multi-texting.

 

[Coach JV]

I always stay at the park waiting for a late parent to pick up a girl.
We usually toss a ball when waiting rather than sit around.
If a player needs a ride, I will only give a ride when one of
my DD is present. It is a shame what society has come to.

I do not offer a sliver of a chance to have an accusation thrown my way.

 

[Topdog@3rd]

[QUDuring this parent's meeting, no one spoke up and said " We don't give Suzy full reign of a cell phone. You need to contact me?"

No way. Like I said he is and the orgnization is very respected. Kids play and parents watch end of story.
I agree totally he is just setting him self up. I have assisted in V-ball and s-ball T/B and cyo. We had to for cyo, go threw a program called "Gods children". Very good info not only did it talk about keeping kids safe but keeping yourself safe. plus a background check. It is to the point they stress more-so you being safe and keeping yourself out of trouble or situations even more now. At the schools a min. of 2 parents, teachers or combo must be on hand, Not 2, a call needs to be made or another parent must at least stay, or no practice B's or G's.
It had been a wile, I became complacent. It was good to read and again be put on alert. Had that talk with the girls on the ride home from school 20 min. ago that we have had b-4. "girls be careful"
You are so right, just remembered, had a priest called out a short time ago. No, wasn't him. Come to find out Kid made it all up.
Also I had a good friend of mine ask twice just last week are you sure you want me to drive your kid home after babysitting. Knowen him and wife 10 yrs. this was the 15yo. and I said yah. never thought twice about it, he must have. Hope he's not mad. There's a phone call I need to make now.
Anyway, Good to be a parent again. No more coaching they're all 3 in HS this fall. Yesssss!!



[/OTE=Amy in AZ.;52551]Hopefully, this guy is "A OK." But, I just read too many examples lately where a respected coach, teacher, priest, grocery store owner, etc. was meeting underaged girls. In fact, I read them every day.

I don't know why this guy is setting himself up to have someone accuse him of something, but that is how I see it.

Coaches need to be cautious, too. And I am much more leery of even being alone with a girl, at lessons, or giving one a ride, anymore.

It is my opinion that a coach should communicate openly with parents. If he wants to text Suzy, that same text needs to go to you.

During this parent's meeting, no one spoke up and said " We don't give Suzy full reign of a cell phone. You need to contact me?"[/QUOTE]

 

[mad hornet]

What is this coach's problem he can't deal with adults?

 

[SoftSocDad]

American Taliban in action.

 

[changeupskill]

I agree that everybody should always be cautious. But my first impression from reading it was its a coach that is putting responsibility on the player. They are to tell the parent which uniform is being worn this saturday or that practice time was changed etc. However, any coach that really expects an 11 year old to accurately pass on every bit of information all the time, is nuts. I'm like others, depending on the kid, around 15ish is very acceptable for coaches to expect to deal with 12 girls (or boys) vs 24 parents and 48 grandparents about EVERY single thing. At some point they should be held a little responsible, but also taught what inappropriate is all about. Even if the kid is 17, texts or calls that aren't team / sport related, go through parents regardless. But, emails can go to 100 people just as easy as 1 person and just looks better as a CC or sent to the whole group. Just my two cents though.

 

[fastpitch]

While I guess we can debate what exact age is appropriate for this; and parents should always keep a watchful eye on their kids; I do like that the coach is dealing directly with the players. He is teaching the players to be accountable for themselves and how to plan ahead. He is preparing them and their parents for the next level. Whether he means to or not he is teaching them how to interact with adults/coaches/prospective employers. Interacting with adults without parents hovering is really not so easy for all kids. My 11yo DD has a hard time speaking to coaches without looking to me for an answer. With practice she will get better. Hopefully when she's a junior or senior in HS she won't be scared to speak to that college coach she may want to play for... if she hasn't quit softball by then.

My son's HS coach has dealt directly with him since he was in 8th grade (they moved him up to play hs in 8th grade). Very rarely does coach address me or my wife. All things related to practices, etc are directed toward him. My son has since become more responsible for himself and his athletic career. He arranges his own rides to practice if I'm not available. It was a little weird at first. The first time coach called and asked to speak to my then 8th grade son; I answered the phone, my instinct was to talk to him and get the info; but I handed the phone to my son and he has since handled it. I've seen him mature greatly in how he interacts with adults since then.

IMHO it is up to the parents to make sure their kids know what is appropriate communication and inappropriate communication and to inform them if they aren't sure.