Me_and_my_big_mouth
witty softball quote
I love to lurk here, and check out the smart and spirited discussions - so I have to ask what you all think about ALWAYS playing "up"?
Our girls (14u) are a first year, mostly '01 team. Most of them (with the exception of 3) only played B ball in 12U. My DD is in her 2nd year of playing softball at all. We are a team of scrappers and girls who go hard, but we have a lot to learn. We can hold our own locally, but we aren't the best in our region. We are an A level first year team, and I'm proud of that fact. My DD is still learning the game, and she's pushing like crazy to make progress.
So here's my concern: We are consistently playing teams that are better than us. Not just better like, "It was a good game" kind of better - but "They beat us up and took our lunch money, then kicked dirt on us as they walked away" kind of better. Our first tournament in the Fall was as 16 GOLD. It was a bloodbath. I was in pain just watching. Girls on the opposing team were leaving the base early, dancing the macarena backwards, just to get out of the inning. 22-0 kind of stuff. We haven't played any 14U tournaments in the Fall. They were all 16. We won a couple games in the 16U B group, but there are some really good 14U A teams out there who would be a huge challenge for us - and our girls could at least see their faces!
Luckily, our group of parents are sincerely nice people - and we all have faith in the process. Our coaches keep telling us to have faith - there's a method to their madness. We love our coaches, think they're all great people, too. Well-meaning, and thinking of the girls. They are encouraging and supportive. But to be quite honest, I'm wondering if they are over-reaching just a tad?
We've travelled to Arizona, came back with bootprints on our butts (14U). We travelled to CA, came back with sand in our eyes and ears (14U). The only team we beat was another local team. We could have played them for around $17 in gas - and that includes Subway after the game.
Now, don't get me wrong - this isn't a "vent" - I'm on board with the program. I just want to make sure there's actually a method that is tried-and-true for this strategy. We *have* improved, and the girls do learn a great deal when we travel for these trips, but it's a huge expense to just go get a beat-down and fly home with our tails between our legs. I think it gets more and more difficult to convince even the most patient parents that this is for a good reason. I mean, who doesn't want to see their kids actually win and feel successful once in a while? Winning builds character, too, right?
Now, we are slated for yet another trip out of state next month, and there is a great deal of grumbling and questioning from the parents. Several families have said flat-out No, they aren't going. Which means we'll be struggling to find players. This makes it hard to keep the faith, when the whole reason for going is so the team can "gel" and learn to trust each other. How do we do that, when 1/3 of them are pickup players?
And (sorry so long) from the "other" side of the fence - those of you who have DD's on teams who dominate everything - what do you actually think of teams like ours, who show up to play but can't even compare to your dd's team? Are we a waste of time? Are you laughing at us? Do you pity us? I don't guess that this part matters, really, but that's what our girls think your DD's are thinking, when our girls show up at age 13, weighing all of a buck and a quarter, and they're playing against WOMEN who have seen some things . . . and who drove themselves to the field.
My DD always comes home from these tournaments thinking two things, primarily: 1) OUCH. I hurt everywhere. I won the record for bruises. And 2) We suck.
We just keep saying, "Suck it up, buttercup. Your coach has a vision and we are all-in" because I won't be caught dissenting in front of her - but on DFP? Maybe I can question just a little bit without seeming like I'm being a "toxic" parent.
Somebody, please tell me that this is normal and part of the process? Isn't this a pretty severe "sink or swim" mentality?
Edit: We haven't lost EVERY game 22-0, there have been closer ones (8-2ish, 9-1, 12-6) but very rarely do we score more than a few runs against these high level pitchers, and once our fielding gets away from us (or our pitching goes off the rails) we have several walks and then a big ol' bat drills one over the fence and we gotta grand slam . . . 3 of them happened last weekend in CA. Ouch.
Our girls (14u) are a first year, mostly '01 team. Most of them (with the exception of 3) only played B ball in 12U. My DD is in her 2nd year of playing softball at all. We are a team of scrappers and girls who go hard, but we have a lot to learn. We can hold our own locally, but we aren't the best in our region. We are an A level first year team, and I'm proud of that fact. My DD is still learning the game, and she's pushing like crazy to make progress.
So here's my concern: We are consistently playing teams that are better than us. Not just better like, "It was a good game" kind of better - but "They beat us up and took our lunch money, then kicked dirt on us as they walked away" kind of better. Our first tournament in the Fall was as 16 GOLD. It was a bloodbath. I was in pain just watching. Girls on the opposing team were leaving the base early, dancing the macarena backwards, just to get out of the inning. 22-0 kind of stuff. We haven't played any 14U tournaments in the Fall. They were all 16. We won a couple games in the 16U B group, but there are some really good 14U A teams out there who would be a huge challenge for us - and our girls could at least see their faces!
Luckily, our group of parents are sincerely nice people - and we all have faith in the process. Our coaches keep telling us to have faith - there's a method to their madness. We love our coaches, think they're all great people, too. Well-meaning, and thinking of the girls. They are encouraging and supportive. But to be quite honest, I'm wondering if they are over-reaching just a tad?
We've travelled to Arizona, came back with bootprints on our butts (14U). We travelled to CA, came back with sand in our eyes and ears (14U). The only team we beat was another local team. We could have played them for around $17 in gas - and that includes Subway after the game.
Now, don't get me wrong - this isn't a "vent" - I'm on board with the program. I just want to make sure there's actually a method that is tried-and-true for this strategy. We *have* improved, and the girls do learn a great deal when we travel for these trips, but it's a huge expense to just go get a beat-down and fly home with our tails between our legs. I think it gets more and more difficult to convince even the most patient parents that this is for a good reason. I mean, who doesn't want to see their kids actually win and feel successful once in a while? Winning builds character, too, right?
Now, we are slated for yet another trip out of state next month, and there is a great deal of grumbling and questioning from the parents. Several families have said flat-out No, they aren't going. Which means we'll be struggling to find players. This makes it hard to keep the faith, when the whole reason for going is so the team can "gel" and learn to trust each other. How do we do that, when 1/3 of them are pickup players?
And (sorry so long) from the "other" side of the fence - those of you who have DD's on teams who dominate everything - what do you actually think of teams like ours, who show up to play but can't even compare to your dd's team? Are we a waste of time? Are you laughing at us? Do you pity us? I don't guess that this part matters, really, but that's what our girls think your DD's are thinking, when our girls show up at age 13, weighing all of a buck and a quarter, and they're playing against WOMEN who have seen some things . . . and who drove themselves to the field.
My DD always comes home from these tournaments thinking two things, primarily: 1) OUCH. I hurt everywhere. I won the record for bruises. And 2) We suck.
We just keep saying, "Suck it up, buttercup. Your coach has a vision and we are all-in" because I won't be caught dissenting in front of her - but on DFP? Maybe I can question just a little bit without seeming like I'm being a "toxic" parent.
Somebody, please tell me that this is normal and part of the process? Isn't this a pretty severe "sink or swim" mentality?
Edit: We haven't lost EVERY game 22-0, there have been closer ones (8-2ish, 9-1, 12-6) but very rarely do we score more than a few runs against these high level pitchers, and once our fielding gets away from us (or our pitching goes off the rails) we have several walks and then a big ol' bat drills one over the fence and we gotta grand slam . . . 3 of them happened last weekend in CA. Ouch.
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