I was demoted as a head coach. How do I get over it?

[CoachB25]

Ok so my honest opinion. When you state that you are worried that YOUR dd is going to be put in the outfield or that YOUR dd will be put on the bench, that tells me that with you as coach, she would NEVER be put in positions that you put other people's children in. It sure sounds like you are worried about you (embarassed) and your child and not asking whether the players are better or worse since you aren't the coach. If your child has talent, perhaps it is better to let her make her way via her skills and not via who the coach is. JMHO!

 

[David Carter]

Honestly I don't know that I would ever suggest that anyone jump in as a HC right away, it is always easier to lay back the first year and get a feel for the league, skill level, expectations etc. It also does worry me that kids who commit errors on your time get "punished". I always tell my kids if you make an error, over throw the ball or strike out I am not going to punish you but...if you miss a sign or throw to the wrong base then you are in trouble. The reason is one thing involves something totally under your control and you paying attention to what is going on in the game and watching your coaches the other is a matter of execution that you will never get perfect every time. If you are committing to many errors or striking out to many times it is my job as the coach to help you improve in that area or find a position where your skills are best utilized.

 

[GTRH8R]

Even in my limited experience I have seen a lot of coaches who are pretty wound up their first year of coaching. I think you were put in the wrong situation.

Most of the coaches mellow out and dial in the correct level of being "strict" as you put it. Some do not and need to be permanently removed from coaching.

Just learn from it and be in the former group. I hope you get another shot next year and make the most of it.

Mr T:

You should not be wound up your first year of coaching. Wow. Is everyone here Type A? A new coach should take a coaching class and be humble about it.

DD has a 1st year HC this season. It has been brutal. We've been outcoached several games and he was crazy unhinged ballistic with the girls at the beginning of the season. Fortunately, its a large org and he has some mentors. He's calmed down and the team has played better since. He still has a way to go, but he's working at it. I think he may be in over his head right now, but the comment on being humble and understanding that you are not going to be coach of the year and understanding your weaknesses and taking some courses will go a long way in making a better coach.

In the end it is about the girls having fun and developing into better players. If you coach the girls and help them get better then the Ws and Ls will come and they'll stick around and grow together. You'll have constant turnover if it isn't fun and they aren't getting developed. I think our team is headed for some turnover at the end of the season because of what the OP had mentioned.

 

[FastpitchAngel]

Okay, from your posts, it sounds like you love your daughter and the girls, and that you really want to just help out! It sounds like you are doing what you think is good for them, and that it is in your furthest dreams to do bad for them!

The thing is that you were not a good coach. (Please don't take offense! I'm just trying to be honest with you.) I will give my reasoning later.

You will definitely be a GREAT softball parent. But I don't think coaching is your place. I really don't think it was the commissioner's place to demote you at all, however! That just seems strange. But that isn't the point I'm trying to make.

You cannot move girls around when they make errors like that, unless it was because they weren't trying! If an error is made hard core, there should be no punishment! If the error was made through lack of hustle, then I can understand it. But I don't think that's what you mean. Errors are part of the game! Especially at such a young age. The girls want your trust and encouragement so they can have the confidence to perform. Your system will not help the situation at all. It will cause more errors than it helps! As a player, I know that the girls must be thinking "Oh! I can't make an error or I'll be moved to the outfield!!!" before every pitch! There is no possible way that they can play with a clear mind so they can "do their thing" and make the plays. There's just too much pressure on them! What the girls want is for you to trust in them and for you to let them make errors--as long as they were made with maximum effort and hustle! But from your posts, I can tell that you were doing what you thought was best, which is why I feel bad for you! You certainly didn't mean to do anything to hurt the girls! You only wanted to help!

So, as for the embarrassment, I can understand it, but I wouldn't feel bad. You are in your place now, and that's all that matters! What happened in the past doesn't matter at all. And if your daughter doesn't play where she deserves and the parents get too bad, you can just leave the team. It really isn't a big deal, and if you think it would help, it's a move to think about. But I'd let it roll for awhile. These things tend to work themselves out!

But like I said, don't get too worried! I think the parents understand that you were just doing what you thought was best, and that your intention was not to hurt, but to help!

Good luck!

 

[BB875]

One thing to always remember when coaching kids is you are TEACHING them all the time. Its not about you. Its not all about winning. Its about teaching the fundamentals and complexities of the game to kids. You have to tell them, show them, explain it to them over & over & over & over... They will not ask questions most of the time for fear they look dumb in front of their friends. When they all nod "yes" after you say "do you understand", some really don't get it. So many opportunities to teach happen in a game its unbelievable. But you have to use a game as a teaching tool.

Sunday, I was compelled to thank and support a coach I have never met. It was 10U TB and they got beat in the semi-finals. My DD #3 plays on a different team, I was just walking by when she was holding her team meeting. I overheard her defending herself to a few parents that were ripping her during the game about "only the bad players play outfield". She told them next year was 12U ball for them and the outfield is a HUGE part of the game. I waited till the meeting was over and she was with only her assistant coaches gathering the equipment and told her she was EXACTLY right. At every level outfield is a skilled position. If you put players there as a punishment you are not doing your job.

Like many posters said, go to clinics. Read the tons of threads on this site. Ask questions. Everyone here loves helping new coaches. Get your knowledge base up to speed and then coach a team next season. But do it because you want to teach the kids, not because you feel like you have to win every game.

You teach them the fundamentals & encourage them to play hard & have fun while doing it, the wins will come by the bucketful!

 

[soxsfan09]

thank you so much for all the comments. I have not been a coach for a week now I have been a parent. It actually has been very nice. Dropping my kid off and leaving and coming back to her games. I am actually feeling great now like why was i mad when i got demoted? Lol. I love being a parent. Anyways my daughter isn't being treated diffeently which makes me happy. I just think coaching wasnt for me. thanks everyone.

 

[Dtwn92]

thank you so much for all the comments. I have not been a coach for a week now I have been a parent. It actually has been very nice. Dropping my kid off and leaving and coming back to her games. I am actually feeling great now like why was i mad when i got demoted? Lol. I love being a parent. Anyways my daughter isn't being treated diffeently which makes me happy. I just think coaching wasnt for me. thanks everyone.

Being a softball parent is a good thing. Don't take it to serious and in a few weeks it will be like it never happened. GL to you.