I was demoted as a head coach. How do I get over it?

[soxsfan09]

I have been demoted as a head coach due to parents complaints of how strict I am and they think I have to much on my plate. The president of the league has been out to my games a few times because me and my assistant got into it cause I make kids move to the outfield when they make a error. I also switch pitchers when they make consistant errors. Well yesterday the president came to the game and told me he thinks I am better off as a parent and let someone else take over. I completely took offense and actually still am and want to pull my daughter.
My daughter still wants to play. But I am taking it so personal. I have been crying on and off since they fired me.
I thought I was doing a good job.
Please give me suggestions. I am also scared they are gonna take it out on my daughter and she is gonna ride the outfield for the rest of the yr.
plus I feel ackward what are the parents gonna be whispering about me.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

OK. Take a step back and tell us more. How old are the kids? How long did you play softball? Are you female?

The statement you made

I make kids move to the outfield when they make a error.

is a huge red flag. I would have taken offense at someone that uses the outfield as punishment, too.

The organization should have had some training and should have hooked you up with someone that you could learn from. Don't punish your daughter. You have to let her play, or this problem is just going to snowball. Good luck and just keep busy with something else. You will find the right nitch.

 

[soxsfan09]

they are all 11-12 yr olds. and yes I am female. This is my first yr coaching. and they knew that.

 

[JAD]

If you are coaching rec ball you are probably viewed as 'psycho', a low level TB team and you are 'over the top', a high level TB team - 'perfect'!

 

[soxsfan09]

If you are coaching rec ball you are probably viewed as 'psycho', a low level TB team and you are 'over the top', a high level TB team - 'perfect'!

low level travel. so i guess i am a psycho. lol

 

[quincy]

Last year DD’s HC was replaced midseason but was still an AC, our family had nothing to do with it. Thought I was going to need to separate the old HC from the new HC, the old HC was upset. I was upset with the outright lies against him.

Anyways it took him about a week to settle down and appears to be a better person for it. There are some parents he would prefer not to deal with but his family is still in our club and seems to be doing great.

This year the Team he would have Managed has 2 “new” parents co-managing that are over their head and I think the club misses our original HC. Hard to believe but the co-managers DDs both pitched opening day.

Not sure if that helps or not.

Yes be mad at the world for a little while and when you can step back see if you might have done something different. If not blank them.

 

[Jr10234]

Any time I've seen a HC replacement mid season, they usually remove coach and player. I think, stepping back, you can be thankful this is an adult matter and does not involve the girls, or your DD.

The situation sucks for you but put your chin up and go to support your DD. If the adults behave as such it will be easy, if they behave like children they don't deserve your time.

Take it and learn from it.

 

[softballphreak]

I think you've got to evaluate yourself as to how qualified you may or may not be. How much softball experience do you have? Being a coach is about more than being in charge.

Treating outfield positions as punishment positions says a lot about what you don't know. There is a difference between being too strict and making bad decisions.

I suggest that you either take this as a challenge to learn to coach or step back and enjoy the game as a parent/fan. Whatever you do, keep foremost in mind that your DD should be allowed to play unaffected by other issues. IOW, don't be a problem.

Being demoted is not a good feeling, I know; but it can be a positive. So either make something of it or lay low. At least they didn't send you to the outfield. Or did they?

 

[soxsfan09]

I plan on laying low sitting in the stands saying comments haha. I am just embarassed that I was demoted. I thought i was doing a good job. Like I said before I am only having a couple of parents complaining. The president just clearly told me that he didn't think this job was for me and he thinks i need to be a parent. I totally agree and don't have a problem stepping down. then he told me he wants the kids to have fun and want to come back next yr. I guess he is saying they are not having fun with me? I have been thinking alot about it and how much time i have spent with these kids. I get off work early for practice. I buy them ice cream when we win. I made them hair tyes. and I take them to the batting cage. and this is how they repay me they let me go? My daughter is a first baseman. I am scared he is not going to put her there anymore i am scared he is gonna make her ride the bench. I am just so nervous about the hole situation.

 

[softballphreak]

I plan on laying low sitting in the stands saying comments haha. I am just embarassed that I was demoted. I thought i was doing a good job. Like I said before I am only having a couple of parents complaining. The president just clearly told me that he didn't think this job was for me and he thinks i need to be a parent. I totally agree and don't have a problem stepping down. then he told me he wants the kids to have fun and want to come back next yr. I guess he is saying they are not having fun with me? I have been thinking alot about it and how much time i have spent with these kids. I get off work early for practice. I buy them ice cream when we win. I made them hair tyes. and I take them to the batting cage. and this is how they repay me they let me go? My daughter is a first baseman. I am scared he is not going to put her there anymore i am scared he is gonna make her ride the bench. I am just so nervous about the hole situation.

I hear you. I've learned (at least til the next time) not to feel too bad when you're "not appreciated." I think that happens to most all coaches at some point. Everything is great and you're the best coach ever until something doesn't go like the parent(s) want. I'll bet there are some real horror stories that could be posted by the coaches on here.

When everyone else lets you down, your DD will always be there.