I was demoted as a head coach. How do I get over it?

[iMlearning]

Remember sometimes buying ice cream when they lose is more important

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

The best thing I ever did was step back from coaching DD's team. I then had the time to work with her one-on-one and not have to worry about any other kid. I also have learned to be a supportive parent/fan and can really enjoy the games.

Looking back, I also realize that the season after I stepped back DD made huge advancements and was ready to move up the softball ladder very quickly. Was she being held back by my lack of "real" knowledge? Maybe so.

I have watched the coaches (good and bad) over the years and learned something from all of them. Next fall when DD goes off to college I will bring the knowledge I have gathered and go back to coaching.

 

[NVfishing]

I plan on laying low sitting in the stands saying comments haha. I am just embarassed that I was demoted. I thought i was doing a good job. Like I said before I am only having a couple of parents complaining. The president just clearly told me that he didn't think this job was for me and he thinks i need to be a parent. I totally agree and don't have a problem stepping down. then he told me he wants the kids to have fun and want to come back next yr. I guess he is saying they are not having fun with me? I have been thinking alot about it and how much time i have spent with these kids. I get off work early for practice. I buy them ice cream when we win. I made them hair tyes. and I take them to the batting cage. and this is how they repay me they let me go? My daughter is a first baseman. I am scared he is not going to put her there anymore i am scared he is gonna make her ride the bench. I am just so nervous about the hole situation.

If you enjoy coaching then use this situation as a learning experience. Find a team where you can be an assistant and learn from someone who's been doing it. You might even talk to the new coach and see if you can help and learn. At age 11 teams will start hitting solid shots into the outfield. A bad play in the infield usually means a base or an extra base. A bad play in the outfield can mean an in the park home run. Moving an infielder to the outfield might compound the situation.

 

[sru]

Buying the kids stuff does not make you a good coach. My DD had a coach who was very very generous with the girls, was constantly buying them things, but he turned into a complete ogre in the dugout. He had favorites on the team who could do no wrong and blasted some kids for making errors and blaming them for losing a game.

I'm not saying that was your style (maybe it was), but it sounds like some of the kids weren't having fun. Definately a time for reflection and learning. If your kid is having fun, and you want to coach again, talk to the president, admit your errors and ask for an AC position next year.

 

[02Crush]

You can take it many ways...But ultimately you have to move on. I will say this....In the end TB is a free market and you can move your DD and leave at anytime.

That said..Please reconsider your perspective that being in the outfield is somehow punishment or where your DD does not belong. Some of the best players in all of the sport. Look at Moultrie from Florida. She is a stud player as are many other OF's. I apologize in advance as I am not normally one to correct others but Thinking outfield is for the lessor players is a big problem with the TB world. One main difference between A level TB teams and B level teams is that they can play outfield very well. Back up positioning, Fly balls and all.
my 2 cents.

 

[Mr T]

Even in my limited experience I have seen a lot of coaches who are pretty wound up their first year of coaching. I think you were put in the wrong situation.

Most of the coaches mellow out and dial in the correct level of being "strict" as you put it. Some do not and need to be permanently removed from coaching.

Just learn from it and be in the former group. I hope you get another shot next year and make the most of it.

 

[KCM]

I will give my experience as a coaching Dad. First years of rec I offered to be an assistant, about 3 year was offered HC, now my daughter is in her second year JV level, so I stepped back and took a AC position even after being offered HC. Why because the level of skill has changed with the girls and I know I need to learn the next level to move up or just be happy as an AC (which I am, I love it actually). I offer nothing to her travel ball team except supporting parent and voice of reason in the stands when crazy parent pipes off.

We are not all called to be a head coach. Take it as a life lesson learned, suck it up and move on. Be positively productive to your child's sport or positively supportive parent in the stands.

 

[KCM]

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I am sorry and this is mean as H-E-double hockey sticks but this is what I think of when a volunteer gets fired. It happens but you have to just step back and laugh about it sometimes.

 

[nanotech14]

I was fired 4 years ago,this after taking a 9-10 yo rec LL to states.Yes at first I was mad as h3ll , but the next year. Guess what? I found out that I had more time to work with my dd.My dd's new HC at the time would pick my brain,but you no what that felt good to be able to help,answer some questions,ask to help with a girl with a few things and have no pressure.But here is the best part,the part I will hang on for ever. My dd and I (really ME)learned that this is a game for kids,played by kids,does she make errors? Yes,Does she strike out sometimes? YES,but no longer do I get on her about it and she loves to play and I love to watch.I was a AC last year,because I learned what it is to be a good coach,not that guy in the dug out being a A$$.Last Year my dd was asked to play for a lot better TB team, because I feel that they could see,that she was enjoying the game and playing darn good softball and that dad could keep his mouth shut!!I was asked to be one of the AC for this team and I turned it down,I like the way my dd loves the game now.

 

[Mr T]

Mr T:

You should not be wound up your first year of coaching. Wow. Is everyone here Type A? A new coach should take a coaching class and be humble about it.

Don't get me wrong, I understand the seriousness of it. I believe people deserve a 2nd chance, maybe not a 3rd chance.

If this was a person who had been coaching longer I would say they are done. Since it's a first year mom, I would hope they could be an AC next year under a coach who can reign them in if necessary.

I have dealt with this type of situation before. I had a TB AC last year who could be trouble. I took a lot of time and effort to try to help him understand. He was certified by the positive coaching alliance, those classes BTW, so that is not necessarily a silver bullet.

This year in rec I drafted his daughter, who is a great kid, very purposefully so a newer coach wouldn't get the dad. I explained things for him one last time. In our 2nd game he could not control himself. I had an hour long talk with him and told him he was watching quietly from the stands the rest of the year, and would not be present at practice.

He called back very remorseful and sad that he wouldn't be spending time with his DD on the field and I had another talk which basically boiled down to "no way Jose you are done".

I told him it would do him a lot of good watching and I believe that to be true. However I have big doubts that he should ever be involved in youth sports again and I wonder if he'll try to latch on to some other team next year.