I really need parents AND coaches advise badly....new to forum.

[starsnuffer]

My advice is the same thing I tell my players: If you want more time in the game and less on the bench, prove it by hitting the ball. You said yourself that your daughters weakness is her hitting, and that's exactly what coaches use to decide who plays and who does not, especially for a utility player that is not a starter in any particular position.

Sounds like she'd be having much more fun playing on the JV team.

-W

 

[magalee]

"I will give you what I think she should do from a Coaches point of view. If at all possible have her move down to JV. She should be the best JV pitcher and will get huge ammounts of mound time. Being a pitcher The repitition of pitching will do her much more good than sitting for a whole season. "


Wild Man,
Unfortunately there is no jv team.....

 

[sluggers]

In that case, you tell the coach she needs more time warming up. If he doesn't give your DD more time to warm up, then she should quit the team.

 

[SoftSocDad]

That's a pretty good idea - if you want to see your #2 injured. 15-20 minute warm up just isn't enough and a pitcher going into a game with not enough warm up is a recipe for injury. More importantly, if your #1 is hurt and #2 needs to come in immediately, she is cold and the possibility of unjury is multiplied X10.

It is a good idea to warm up all pitchers beforehand that may play in the game. THEN if it looks as though #2 might need to come in, give her a 15-20 minute warm up.

My mistake, CnD, and you're right. I was assuming that her regular, pregame warm-up was sufficient to get her ready to do her pitching warm-up if needed, but I didn't state it that way.

Magalee - While you have no knowledge about my medical training, you argued that I 'diagnosed' your daughter's condition and that is not the case. In your original post, YOU stated that her doctor had already diagnosed her with tendonitis. The scar tissue that's present is unlikely to show up on xray. I offered an opinion about a treatment option - rest - that has zero risk. I don't know how you can take that to conclude that I'm not genuinely concerned about a young player's health, despite my misstatement about a proper warm-up and despite not knowing her at all.

You don't have to take my word for it, but if you do seek out multiple opinions from other reputable sources, most of them will tell you that rest is an important first step in treating tendonitis. Every athlete is unique, but in most cases, you have to first stop doing whatever it is that's been causing the inflammation in the first place. A general rule of thumb is to give it 2 weeks off.

You're entitled to be defensive and angry about my response to your post, but the stated desire to 'move her to another school' does come across as an overreaction. Your player knows how she feels physically and I'm certainly not opposed to playing with pain, but my advice to you would be to study more about the already-diagnosed condition so that you can be a greater asset in managing the treatment and prevention plan.

 

[chinamigarden]

As a parent I like to see at least 2 pitchers warming up. I think my girl pitches better when she isn't worried about screwing up. If she is the only girl ready to pitch she seems to tighten up a bit and throw as if she doesn't want to make a mistake, pitching to not lose. As a coach I like to see at least 2 girls warmed up, because it creates some internal pressure or competition within the girls to keep their spot on the mound, and then they pitch to win.

Warming up properly for any activity is key to performance and to health. Any coach who would not properly warm up a kid who he/she might put into a game (in any position) is not doing his/her job.

 

[absdad]

Magalee - While you have no knowledge about my medical training, you argued that I 'diagnosed' your daughter's condition and that is not the case. In your original post, YOU stated that her doctor had already diagnosed her with tendonitis. The scar tissue that's present is unlikely to show up on xray. I offered an opinion about a treatment option - rest - that has zero risk. I don't know how you can take that to conclude that I'm not genuinely concerned about a young player's health, despite my misstatement about a proper warm-up and despite not knowing her at all.

I'd like to add to that.. you made an excellent point. While nobody but this lady, her dd, and their Dr knows the actual extent of the injury, rest absolutely is zero risk.

My dd is currently sidelined with a knee injury. We're getting pressure from the coach and we're just not going to rush it. I am a certified softball junkie. I would love nothing more than to be eating peanuts in my chair behind the backstop talking with the other parents and cheering my dd's team. But her health is my utmost concern. We've stopped all lessons, and are not currently practicing with the team. Dr said "take 2-3 weeks off" and we will take at minimum 3 weeks to the day.

Magalee, not saying your dd did or did not say this.. but sometimes kids confuse pain and discomfort, and will play through feelings that they don't necessarily bring to their coach or parents attention. Especially at younger ages. They want to make everyone happy, and feel pressure, whether implied or not, to perform. Do what's absolutely best for your dd, and don't worry about your feelings, or coach's, or anyone else. If your Dr said she's cleared to participate, then go for it. But do so cautiously.

 

[InTheCrowd]

If I may...

First, there are coaches with varying degrees of skill and talent just as players. I don't know you, your DD, or your coach, so I am flying blind here. I am a softball parent, never coached softball, but I got plenty of mileage. In my 12+ years being around the sport, going to batting lessons, catching lessons, helping with team and coaches as requested, I've picked up acres things. The first is not all coaches are the same and that can be very frustrating. And I'm relatively new here as well and most of my posts have been seeking advice as well.

There are good coaches and bad and everything in between. We had have experience with them all. So you have to size up the coach. If he coach is approachable, the coach should be able to explain the approach and the reasons why. This should be done by your DD first. It's her playing time, her career, her issue. A parent should only get involved when truly necessary.

Second, try to see it from the coach's point of view. If the coach is seasoned (well experienced), he has delt with all kinds of issues over the years. And sometimes, a coach may see a complaint coming (even if that's not your intention) and the blinders go up. And yes this does happen. It human nature to not like being challenged when you feel you have the superior position, coaches typically have that position by default. Rather than approaching it like "why aren't you doing this or that" to "what can DD do to earn more time" will get the coach's interest. Tap into that insight and expertise and any good coach will respond accordingly. You may find out more than you wanted to know but also gain the coach's viewpoint. This may open doors for your DD.

Right now, my DD has a HS coach that I feel is a bad coach. The coach is immature, egotistical, and a very much "my way or the highway coach". The program is suffering and he talented veteran players have refused to play for this coach. DD is a sophomore catcher. The only trained and experienced catcher in the program and she is good. I don't say that because I'm her parent but because that is the feedback we're getting from scouts and college programs. This HS coach has given us fits and wants to change DD's catching to "her" way. So we did the what we believed was standard operating procedure (SOP). First, DD tried talking with the coach, nothing. We arranged a meeting between the coaches and our catching coach, the head coach blew it off (other coaches were interested). We (parents) asked for a meeting with the coach, another blow off. After the last games of the season, the coach told me that she is the varsity coach and she can change it she wants. In a reasonable manner, I told her I understood where she was coming from but I disagreed. Still no meeting. We contacted the AD. Had a meeting and requested what the coach saw that was so wrong, the reasons for changing it, and how this was going to benefit DD's development. All in calm rationale form. To date, we have received no response other than DD is either playing third or first.

And this is the only coach to pull this on DD's catching. Every coach has appreciated they have a trained catcher behind the plate. Our TB coach is suggested that our second catcher go to the same catching coach becaus she has been so impressed with DD. Right now DD has 16 colleges from five different states interested in her.

So what do you do as a parent? I ask advice like I have here and have gotten very good responses and some even humorous. And I appreciate the input below it helps me as a parent keep a level head and a wider perspective. They talk about coaches needing thick skin, and they do, but so do parents. I personally view this coach as an anomaly and will dismiss probably everything this coach because it is soooooo inconsistent with the feedback we have gotten including coaches, scouts, umpires, and other parents. DD will play for this coach and we will be supportive. In fact, we helped ready the field today (pick leaves, trash, etc.). I think this HS coach is a bad coach but we were one of three sets of parents. We even brough Tim-bits for the team.

And yes there are bad coaches out there. And when you've been around as much as I have with multiple sports, you can start sorting the good coaches from the bad. Now DD's travel ball coach is awesome and DD is really looking forward to the TB season. As a parent, you have to decide if, when and what your involvement is going to be. You can be too involved to where you stifle DD ability to cope. You can be to uninvolved as well like not being supportive. And you can be toooooooo involved to where you might as well put on the uniform. In 12 years, I've talked with coaches, joked with them, bought them meals, ignored them, etc. But this HS coach was the first time I felt I needed to protect my DD.

Hope this long winded post helped.

 

[magalee]

Continued, any thoughts??

Just an update on the last several days, I appreciate everyone for their opinions and advice so far.
Not sure if I put in other post that daughter is missing her weekly pitching lesson due to softball practice after school everyday. I did ask the coach several weeks ago if i could pick her up from his practice 30 minutes early once a week so she could go to her lesson. He said no, and she fields during his practice, not pitch. The pitching coach is working with me to give her a 7:30pm lesson when she can, but it is not consistent. We are just trying to work at home, just not much time before dark and she is tired from 2 1/2 hours of softball practice. She gets more practice time on weekends.

Had a game a few days ago, daughter had been on bench for the 3 previous games. This game we were losing, 12-2. They had other pitchers timing and were hitting like crazy. He finally told daughter to warm up before last inning. My husband and I noticed she was throwing high, leaning forward a bit and getting frustrated. Her coach would glance over at her and not say a word, but then he doesn't talk to her at any time anyway. After several throws, I walked over and said "you can bring it down, you are leaning forward, push back..........." and I never finished my statement because the coach (that was just a few feet away) told my daughter "Hey, warm up!" and then stared at me for a second, turned away, then turned back with raised eyebrows and pointed to the stands. My daughter looked at me like "dont' say anything mom, or i won't pitch!" and I silently went and sat back down with my husband.

Just to have the full pic, the other pitchers dad tells her to "change your pitch up" etc. and give her tips all the time and nothing is said. Does this seem right? She is not getting to go to lessons and not suppose to get a quick tip to improve a pitch before she gets on the field, and I'm not understanding it.

Just a note, her elbow is much better, she said just a little discomfort throwing overhand, but no pain and no aching afterward throwing.
Thanks

 

[starsnuffer]

Yeah, you're definitely on the coach's "annoying complaining parent" list. This may not have been your intent, infact it rarely is, but it's more then likely the truth. My advice is the same advice I give to my travel ball parents: Sit in center field, lay out a blanket, enjoy the game. It's your daughter's sport, her journey, and it's time she learned her own way down the road.

I realize you're trying to help, but it's having the exact opposite effect. Now the coach sees her as a little girl with a whining mother, which I bet is not the perception that your daughter would like to have. Back off, bite your tongue, and let your daughter figure this out. If you want to help her softball endevors, get her some hitting lessons, that's what is going to get the coach's attention, not the pitching. If she can't self correct by now, she's not going to learn it mid-season, work on the pitching in earnest after the season is over.

-W

 

[SoCalSoftballdad]

Just an update on the last several days, I appreciate everyone for their opinions and advice so far.
Not sure if I put in other post that daughter is missing her weekly pitching lesson due to softball practice after school everyday. I did ask the coach several weeks ago if i could pick her up from his practice 30 minutes early once a week so she could go to her lesson. He said no, and she fields during his practice, not pitch. The pitching coach is working with me to give her a 7:30pm lesson when she can, but it is not consistent. We are just trying to work at home, just not much time before dark and she is tired from 2 1/2 hours of softball practice. She gets more practice time on weekends.

Had a game a few days ago, daughter had been on bench for the 3 previous games. This game we were losing, 12-2. They had other pitchers timing and were hitting like crazy. He finally told daughter to warm up before last inning. My husband and I noticed she was throwing high, leaning forward a bit and getting frustrated. Her coach would glance over at her and not say a word, but then he doesn't talk to her at any time anyway. After several throws, I walked over and said "you can bring it down, you are leaning forward, push back..........." and I never finished my statement because the coach (that was just a few feet away) told my daughter "Hey, warm up!" and then stared at me for a second, turned away, then turned back with raised eyebrows and pointed to the stands. My daughter looked at me like "dont' say anything mom, or i won't pitch!" and I silently went and sat back down with my husband.

Just to have the full pic, the other pitchers dad tells her to "change your pitch up" etc. and give her tips all the time and nothing is said. Does this seem right? She is not getting to go to lessons and not suppose to get a quick tip to improve a pitch before she gets on the field, and I'm not understanding it.

Just a note, her elbow is much better, she said just a little discomfort throwing overhand, but no pain and no aching afterward throwing.
Thanks

I agree with your daughter, "don't say a word". You either play by the coaches rules or you quit the team. By 15, your daughter should know why she is not throwing correctly in warm-ups and make the adjustment herself. You are doing her no favors by becoming involved in the situation. Pretend your DD is not on the team and try to enjoy the game. Also, the coach is under no obligation to allow your DD to miss team practices so she can visit her private pitching coach. You find the time when you can, away from practice.