DD's team has a team diva but she is not a coaches kid. She actually doesn't think she can do it all - she just knows how everyone else screws up and she is not afraid to scream it across the field or during a time out in the huddle. They actually have 2 girls who won't go to the mound for time outs anymore if they are called by the pitcher because she is so hateful and mean. The problem? She is the only pitcher who stands any chance against tough teams. She will walk 2 batters, call a time out and then yell at the girls that she is "pitching her butt off" and everyone else needs tp step up. DD has been carching for her lately and has decided that she (DD) will lead the "pep" talks from now on. She doesn't let the pitcher start on a rant anymore. HC claims he is done with her attitude, yet lets her continue to pitch. I think there are enough parents whose kids have been on the receiving end of her wrath that they would be fine dealing with losses if he sat her. Thankfully there are only 2 more tourneys and then they are done.
Dealing with the team diva
- Thread starter grcsftbll
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softgabby
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My team had a player like that. She was a senior third baseman. She has a sister that acts like the queen bee of our school and is the head cheerleader. They are also both twins which doesn't help...plus her dad is the head of the school board for our school district and her mom is the school principal. They had the best coaches and everything.
I remember when I was a few weeks into playing as a catcher. I'm still learning the position basically. I called time to go talk tongue pitcher and get on the same page. I was telling her she's doing good and trying to get her to forget the mistake she just made. The third baseman, who had nothing to do with the conversation came over to tell me and the pitcher to finish our conversation that she had somewhere she had to be by a certain time. I looked at her incredulously and shook my head as I headed back to the plate. The next day she looked at us and said were the worst players on our team and I was the worst pitcher on the team and that's why they made me a catcher. Our coach has had to tell her a few times to be quiet. Thankfully sometimes her mom backs our coach.
But little sis is dealing with the same thing with a pitcher on her team.
I remember when I was a few weeks into playing as a catcher. I'm still learning the position basically. I called time to go talk tongue pitcher and get on the same page. I was telling her she's doing good and trying to get her to forget the mistake she just made. The third baseman, who had nothing to do with the conversation came over to tell me and the pitcher to finish our conversation that she had somewhere she had to be by a certain time. I looked at her incredulously and shook my head as I headed back to the plate. The next day she looked at us and said were the worst players on our team and I was the worst pitcher on the team and that's why they made me a catcher. Our coach has had to tell her a few times to be quiet. Thankfully sometimes her mom backs our coach.
But little sis is dealing with the same thing with a pitcher on her team.
- Jun 12, 2015
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This one's parents will probably never back the AC's decisions to do anything other than what their kid wants. I can't even tell you how long she was lead off hitter with an almost 0.000 batting average. She has finally started hitting though, so that's good. She was learning to slap so I get that takes some time but why not bump her down the line up? For the longest time we started every single game with a strike out. Talk about frustrating, especially when we have another girl who gets on base very frequently and is fast as lightning. I know there was drama on their last team for these same reasons; I'm sure that's why dad started his own team, so that he could be sure his DD would get her way.
She's a good little softball player, top half of the team, but not a super star. I imagine most HCs would not put up with it for long.
She's a good little softball player, top half of the team, but not a super star. I imagine most HCs would not put up with it for long.
Sorry if I missed it in the thread somewhere, but has the head coach ever been told any of this?
You and I are in agreement about the importance of coaches communicating with parents. Have any parents gone to the coach and respectfully communicated their concerns? Not from a ''this is why I'm not happy'' standpoint, but looking at it for the good of the team as a whole?
You and I are in agreement about the importance of coaches communicating with parents. Have any parents gone to the coach and respectfully communicated their concerns? Not from a ''this is why I'm not happy'' standpoint, but looking at it for the good of the team as a whole?
- Jun 12, 2015
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It's an odd situation because the manager is the one who's supposed to be running the team, but the girl's dad actually "owns" the team. So the manager makes most of the decisions most of the time, but the HC overrules him when he wants to. My DH and I talked to the manager this weekend and he's aware, and said he is addressing it as best he can with the HC, who is not particularly receptive. He said he took it up with HC's wife this weekend as well to hopefully have her influence him but I don't know that it's going to help. We're talking about having several of us talk to the HC together. But he definitely knows that it's a problem, I don't know if he doesn't care (which would be odd, to be willing to lose half his team), or if he doesn't know what to do to improve the situation.
It's stuff like this - in practice the manager sent his DD to center field to practice. Not a punishment, but to give another girl time to practice at 2B (coach's DD's main position). HC allowed this for a few hitters then switched them back. Or the girl's buddy from last year was supposed to hit last because of her attitude, but HC didn't stick to that and called her in to hit (probably because at the time, she was fielding at 2B and he wanted his DD there). The friend very, very rarely has to run for her attitude or for lack of effort, like the rest of the girls do. Once my DH (he's an AC) was running a drill and coach's DD just stood there watching. DH made her do it, and she put forth no effort, then refused to speak to him or look at him for the rest of the practice. It's completely blatant. Her dad did nothing about this at all; I can't even imagine letting my kids treat their coach so disrespectfully.
So it seems obvious to me what should be done to fix this, and i have to think he's just unwilling to let them be disciplined. I get that when they've been raised this way and you start to discipline, the fallout is hard to deal with. But hey, parenting is a tough gig and if you don't suck it up you're only hurting your child in the long run.
It's stuff like this - in practice the manager sent his DD to center field to practice. Not a punishment, but to give another girl time to practice at 2B (coach's DD's main position). HC allowed this for a few hitters then switched them back. Or the girl's buddy from last year was supposed to hit last because of her attitude, but HC didn't stick to that and called her in to hit (probably because at the time, she was fielding at 2B and he wanted his DD there). The friend very, very rarely has to run for her attitude or for lack of effort, like the rest of the girls do. Once my DH (he's an AC) was running a drill and coach's DD just stood there watching. DH made her do it, and she put forth no effort, then refused to speak to him or look at him for the rest of the practice. It's completely blatant. Her dad did nothing about this at all; I can't even imagine letting my kids treat their coach so disrespectfully.
So it seems obvious to me what should be done to fix this, and i have to think he's just unwilling to let them be disciplined. I get that when they've been raised this way and you start to discipline, the fallout is hard to deal with. But hey, parenting is a tough gig and if you don't suck it up you're only hurting your child in the long run.
- Nov 29, 2009
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I've had a couple of Divas over the years. They never made it a whole season. For some strange reason they just don't like it when they are expected to do the same work as everyone else on the team and are treated the same as everyone else on the team. The one thing that I've noticed about a diva is usually they are a head case. And it starts with the parents.
The last one I had was soooo bad to her parents. I preach to the girls about respecting their parents and teammates all the time. We're at a fall tournament between games. The mom and dad are sitting in their lawn chairs. The girl comes back from the concession stand with an ice cream cone. Walks up to her dad and told him to get up. AND HE DID!!! This a perfectly healthy 14U teenager who was not injured. I normally don't say anything with regards to family interactions. On that one I HAD to. I gave the girl an earful about respecting her parents and being thankful for everything they do for her. She left the team a week later. It turns out, it was addition by subtraction. The team bonded together much better after that.
The last one I had was soooo bad to her parents. I preach to the girls about respecting their parents and teammates all the time. We're at a fall tournament between games. The mom and dad are sitting in their lawn chairs. The girl comes back from the concession stand with an ice cream cone. Walks up to her dad and told him to get up. AND HE DID!!! This a perfectly healthy 14U teenager who was not injured. I normally don't say anything with regards to family interactions. On that one I HAD to. I gave the girl an earful about respecting her parents and being thankful for everything they do for her. She left the team a week later. It turns out, it was addition by subtraction. The team bonded together much better after that.
- Apr 25, 2010
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At first, she did want to pitch. She loved pitching. It was coaches who weren't her dad, that rode her and made her hate it. And when her dad was her coach, she got pulled just like any other player. If she wasn't hitting well, she wasn't in the lineup. So no, it would have been no different. He is actually realistic about her abilities. She is not a 1 or 4 hitter, she's not a very good middle infielder or 3rd baseman. She only played those positions when it was absolutely necessary. She is an outstanding right fielder and loves playing there, but she was expected to perform just like any other player. It sounds like you may not have watched those teams at all before your kid joined the team. In those cases, you can figure out who the coach's kid is pretty quick. However, is it possible that the coach's kid really was the best one for that position? That it's just easy to make her a scapegoat?
- Jun 12, 2015
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For us it's been 50/50 as far as dads go. Our first coach didn't do daddy ball. His kid played where she was doing well and got pulled like any other when appropriate. Our fall team had many issues but daddy ball wasn't one of them. My older DD plays baseball and it's MAJOR daddy ball, but she likes the team and it's rec so so cares. This is our first time where it feels like it's having a negative impact.
- Dec 27, 2014
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I like the approach of promoting some team building events in the near future if possible. Try to find common ground. Sometimes it is easier to take the occasional issue if you feel more for the girl. Maybe she won't act out as much if she cares more for the team?
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