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DD might play again after sitting out last year

Aug 12, 2014
540
18
My DD is going to be a junior this year. She played JV her freshman year and then on the HC's spring/summer team. She decided not to play last fall because the HC was an a-hole, and I didn't blame her at all. HC stepped down after last fall and they finally hired a new coach this summer, so DD is thinking about playing again. She never had any interest in travel ball, she only played rec before HS.

She said she's not sure if she will play because she gets a big knot in her stomach every time she thinks about it. She said a friend says the same thing, I think it's because they still associate it with the old coach. But she's been wanting to throw the ball around lately, which she hasn't wanted to do in forever. And she is getting together with another friend this week to practice.

Nobody has met the new HC yet - she sent an introductory email and just said practice starts Aug 12 and she'll try to have a meeting before then. DD said she'll wait until she meets her and then decide. I'm hoping she plays, because she really enjoyed it up until that last season. And selfishly, I love watching her play. She's really not an athlete, but she fell in love with softball at 8U and is a decent player, and as we all know, there isn't much better than watching your child work hard and succeed.
 
May 29, 2015
906
93
Not sure what your state association rules are regarding off-season contact, but I’d suggest the new coach NEEDS to have a meeting before practices/tryouts start (if she can). There are probably many more girls on that same fence.

I hope your daughter comes back to the game!
 
Apr 26, 2015
600
28
Good luck to your DD! I hope she decides to play and finds her love of the game again. You are so right - there is nothing like watching them play!
 

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
3,923
63
I have coached a lot of players who have that knot in their stomach. You need to turn that into a positive. IOWs, you get the knot because you care. You get the knot because you want to produce for your team. Also, you need to point out that that same feeling could come someday during their career and they can practice now handling that feeling. When I was young, my mom used to keep a bottle of Pepto Bismol in her purse. I hated that feeling and yet, when I got on the field, it was gone and I was a serious competitor. Later, I figured out that if I got to the game early, ran, made sure that I was absolutely ready to go, instead of that feeling, I had a sense of calmness because I knew I was ready to compete. Good luck with the DD!
 
Apr 28, 2019
835
43
My DD is going to be a junior this year. She played JV her freshman year and then on the HC's spring/summer team. She decided not to play last fall because the HC was an a-hole, and I didn't blame her at all. HC stepped down after last fall and they finally hired a new coach this summer, so DD is thinking about playing again. She never had any interest in travel ball, she only played rec before HS.

She said she's not sure if she will play because she gets a big knot in her stomach every time she thinks about it. She said a friend says the same thing, I think it's because they still associate it with the old coach. But she's been wanting to throw the ball around lately, which she hasn't wanted to do in forever. And she is getting together with another friend this week to practice.

Nobody has met the new HC yet - she sent an introductory email and just said practice starts Aug 12 and she'll try to have a meeting before then. DD said she'll wait until she meets her and then decide. I'm hoping she plays, because she really enjoyed it up until that last season. And selfishly, I love watching her play. She's really not an athlete, but she fell in love with softball at 8U and is a decent player, and as we all know, there isn't much better than watching your child work hard and succeed.
Hopefully your daughter loves the game and jumps back in. One of my daughters refused to play school ball last year due to LL coach moving over to school ball. Coach always played her in the wrong positions. She doesn’t have a real strong arm and was good at 1st & 2nd. Coach always put her at 3rd or outfield.
Good news is coach was only there for one season. She regretted not playing but played this year and had a great season.
I would encourage her to play. Your only young once.
 
Oct 1, 2014
989
28
USA
I have coached a lot of players who have that knot in their stomach. You need to turn that into a positive. IOWs, you get the knot because you care. You get the knot because you want to produce for your team. Also, you need to point out that that same feeling could come someday during their career and they can practice now handling that feeling. When I was young, my mom used to keep a bottle of Pepto Bismol in her purse. I hated that feeling and yet, when I got on the field, it was gone and I was a serious competitor. Later, I figured out that if I got to the game early, ran, made sure that I was absolutely ready to go, instead of that feeling, I had a sense of calmness because I knew I was ready to compete. Good luck with the DD!
I understand the knot you are referring to CBall but sometimes the knot is there because (as the OP suggested) the coach really is an A-hole and sucks the life and joy out of something that otherwise would be fun.
 
Oct 1, 2014
989
28
USA
Dbronstein - I really hope that your DD gets back in to the game and experiences the joy of playing for her school. As a Junior she'll have plenty of time to overwrite some of the past issues with positive, life long memories!
 
Aug 12, 2014
540
18
Thank you everyone for the replies and encouragment. To respond to a few points:

Not sure what your state association rules are regarding off-season contact, but I’d suggest the new coach NEEDS to have a meeting before practices/tryouts start (if she can). There are probably many more girls on that same fence.
I'm not sure, but I don't think it's very strict (Colorado). The old coach would have a week-long "camp", a couple weeks before practice started. I completely agree that she needs to have the meeting, and preferably sooner rather than later.

I understand the knot you are referring to CBall but sometimes the knot is there because (as the OP suggested) the coach really is an A-hole and sucks the life and joy out of something that otherwise would be fun.
Yes. The knot is because the old coach would humiliate them when they made a mistake. We're not talking about simple butterflies and nerves. Meeting the coach will hopefully untie the knots :)

Hopefully your daughter loves the game and jumps back in. One of my daughters refused to play school ball last year due to LL coach moving over to school ball. Coach always played her in the wrong positions. She doesn’t have a real strong arm and was good at 1st & 2nd. Coach always put her at 3rd or outfield.
Good news is coach was only there for one season. She regretted not playing but played this year and had a great season.
I would encourage her to play. Your only young once.
I'm doing what I can, but she's very stubborn and pushing her will just make her back her away, so I'm giving her space. I agree that she will regret it if she doesn't give it another shot. That's great your daughter was able to get back into it, hopefully mine will as well.
 
Aug 12, 2014
540
18
She's going to play! The new coach had a meeting/field clean up session this morning. There were only about five players and some parents. We spent a couple hours working on the field and cleaning out the equipment room, and then she had a meeting at the end. She seems nice, although still planning to push the girls - their eyes got wide when she mentioned practices will be three hours :) It's going to be rebuilding year, hopefully they'll get 13-15 players to come out.

DD is excited about playing again, I think she really missed it last year.
 
Apr 28, 2019
835
43
She's going to play! The new coach had a meeting/field clean up session this morning. There were only about five players and some parents. We spent a couple hours working on the field and cleaning out the equipment room, and then she had a meeting at the end. She seems nice, although still planning to push the girls - their eyes got wide when she mentioned practices will be three hours :) It's going to be rebuilding year, hopefully they'll get 13-15 players to come out.

DD is excited about playing again, I think she really missed it last year.
Good to hear. Best of luck to you both.
 

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