Coach upset with DD for going to Homecoming

[29dad]

Somewhat related, here is an interesting article regarding athlete burnout. I think it's very apropos to this discussion:

Athlete Burnout | The Educated Sports Parent

 

[pizza-boy01]

Single silliest rebuttal I have read period.
You make a commitment start of fall, start of spring, and you should know if you can live up to it or not. Of course they can have life outside of softball and play other sports. Dd is playing basketball now, I had to find a good team that was ok with this and who's practice schedule was something we could do. You choose your team based on your ability to meet their schedule and then commit. Want a team that plays only 1 a month in the fall and that fits your schedule, commit to them. Want to play 3 to 4 a month then find one and commit. Don't commit to a "hard core" team and then skip because something else came up or a 1 a month team. Discuss before season with dd and find a team that fits that you can work around instead of trying to make a team work around your schedule.

Football lasts about as long as fall TB and longer than school ball.

A dance, is not a major event. Prom is but not homecoming.

So what if you have a situation like in the OP, and after several months, your DD's coach now has a change of heart on your DD playing BB; how do you handle that? Which "commitment" do you encourage her to break?

 

[BrianMonk]

How many coaches here would feel comfortable with OP's dd if she failed to come to the rescue when her team needed her? 13 or 14 kids on roster, player asks for x date off, you enter showcase in advance with enough girls to cover, you book rooms and spend team money, then you have 3 or 4 injuries and are hurting. How many of you would not be disappointed in the girl that chose a dance over helping her teammates get through this weekend?

Easton, you're clearly in over your head here. It's already been explained that these tournaments, girls miss. Often. If you need more players, you pick them up. At the tournament that Cannonball is at now, the one rule states:

10. A team may use players outside their roster if it is determined they will have to forfeit due to lacking enough players to start a game. If it is determined they are just creating a stronger team it will not be allowed (make sure you let the tournament director know before the game).

There's a reason for this.

It's also been explained to you boys miss travel baseball as well. They do, life happens.

Instead of insisting you're correct on something you clearly aren't well aware of, it would be in your best interest to listen to those that have been there before. We aren't breaking new ground here.

BTW, we had girls miss a Sunday afternoon practice because........they had Homecoming the previous night. They're still good kids and players in our book.

Edit - By the time you're second years 14's, you already know so many teams, coaches, families, players, softball acquaintances, it's not hard to find someone to fill in. Make a phone call or two and you've got a full team again.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Haha. What was the question? Was there a question? We started sounding off on whether someone else's 15 yo should go to homecoming. Next.

 

[Easton33]

Easton, you're clearly in over your head here. It's already been explained that these tournaments, girls miss. Often. If you need more players, you pick them up. At the tournament that Cannonball is at now, the one rule states:

10. A team may use players outside their roster if it is determined they will have to forfeit due to lacking enough players to start a game. If it is determined they are just creating a stronger team it will not be allowed (make sure you let the tournament director know before the game).

There's a reason for this.

It's also been explained to you boys miss travel baseball as well. They do, life happens.

Instead of insisting you're correct on something you clearly aren't well aware of, it would be in your best interest to listen to those that have been there before. We aren't breaking new ground here.

BTW, we had girls miss a Sunday afternoon practice because........they had Homecoming the previous night. They're still good kids and players in our book.

Edit - By the time you're second years 14's, you already know so many teams, coaches, families, players, softball acquaintances, it's not hard to find someone to fill in. Make a phone call or two and you've got a full team again.

"Everyone else does it" has not been and never will be a good excuse. I guess there is commitment and COMMITment. Wouldn't you assume this coach has tried all avenues? After all, he is coaching what should be a fairly competitive team.
Yes, I am correct on this. Sorry if you disagree or if it is something you condone but it doesn't make me less right. To each his own but for us, a commitment to a team comes before a dance.
View it how you want and say what you will but if a coach has spent countless hours giving up his own time for the betterment of a someone else's child, then just maybe that coach should be given some consideration when he needs some help or asks a player for help filling a roster when injuries have left him short.
My youngest DD is playing 14, my oldest plays college.
How exactly does that last part about girls having homecoming and not making it to an afternoon practice strengthen your case? Why would they need to miss practice for that? Good girls and girl ballplayers they may be but they will get away with everything you let them. Seriously, Homecoming on Sat night so they miss Sunday afternoon practice? Geeze, hope you didn't make'em miss out on the milk and cookies.

 

[Easton33]

Haha. What was the question? Was there a question? We started sounding off on whether someone else's 15 yo should go to homecoming. Next.

Yeah, thread went a little long huh. I'm out!

 

[Lenski]

Sometimes a kid needs to be a kid. My dd's weekends were booked solid from June through mid-October for softball tournaments. She worked basically all other weekends from last winter until school ball started in April, then worked on Sundays during school ball and during the week during travel ball. She's a junior this year and you bet your a$$ she went to homecoming......her TB coach was notified in advance and he was perfectly fine with it. She missed a total of 3 games of a fall showcase on a Saturday. Real coaches understand the importance of Homecoming and Prom for young ladies because the dances make the girls feel good about themselves when the get all dressed up, and good coaches know that girls need to feel good to play good. Any coach or parent that does not allow the girls to attend a dance providing there was adequate notice is worthless and should be ashamed of themselves IMO.

 

[Lenski]

How many coaches here would feel comfortable with OP's dd if she failed to come to the rescue when her team needed her? 13 or 14 kids on roster, player asks for x date off, you enter showcase in advance with enough girls to cover, you book rooms and spend team money, then you have 3 or 4 injuries and are hurting. How many of you would not be disappointed in the girl that chose a dance over helping her teammates get through this weekend?

Her teammates would be perfectly fine with it. The HC should have been trolling for a sub for the weekend. COACHES PROBLEM!!!!!!

 

[Greenmonsters]

Alan Inverson's practice rant would actually be appropriate in this thread - "People, we're talking about a showcase tournament, a showcase tournament...

Go to Homecoming. Showcases are a dime a dozen and coaches are there to see players, not whether their team wins or loses

 

[Elk Grove Hurricane]

Alan Inverson's practice rant would actually be appropriate in this thread - "People, we're talking about a showcase tournament, a showcase tournament...

Go to Homecoming. Showcases are a dime a dozen and coaches are there to see players, not whether their team wins or loses

Amen to that. Unless the tourney is a qualifier and the head coach outlined this in red pen (figuratively) as one the kids can't miss, he has no right to guilt trip her after he tells her she can miss two months prior. Commitment goes both ways, and if the coach's word isn't his bond, he has no right getting on a kid who is paying to play. Different story if this is professional, where you do have to earn the paycheck.