Coach upset with DD for going to Homecoming

[shannz]

My daughter missed every high school home coming, but not this year. Any coach that has had a daughter understands. Showcases are year around-not home comings. If the coach truly had only eight players- get on a message board and ask for a pick up player(s). It is a common practice. Coach please remember softball is only four years and done in college. Then its all about if they spent time with friends and family during those special moments.

 

[Easton33]

I don't know about your situation, but my DD gives up A LOT for softball. She has 2 practices a week with her team in the off season, which she shows up early to in order to catch for some pitchers. She also has two pitching clinics and one catching clinic per week on top of the practices. Spring time she gives up numerous weekends for tournaments. Summer is spent traveling and away from friends and family. She gives up a lot of time to this sport. If she wants to go to homecoming in the fall, I'm going to let her. I really don't think it will affect her understanding of what a commitment is.

During fall, 4 days a week school ball, 2 days pitching practice, and weekend tournaments. My dd commits as much time to softball as anyone but I guess the difference is I explain what each commitment entails and she makes the decision to do it. As an adult, when she feels like wavering from her commitment that she made I am there not to encourage her to break that commitment but live up to it. Just because something better comes along or you have spent x amount of time at the field, that does not change the definition or expectation of the word commitment. Team is about not putting the needs or wants of the individual ahead of the team. If you are still unsure of the meaning of the word, use the dictionary. If your actions are contrary to that definition, then you are not meeting your obligations. No matter how much you played last summer, this fall, or how often you practice, the meaning of commitment doesn't change. The parallel was drawn to baseball, Amy is right. No one ever misses a baseball game for any reason or a football game. (Injuries excluded) Why is acceptable for female athletes to miss games that male athletes would attend under same circumstances?

 

[Cannonball]

Interesting that this player is being attacked for not demonstrating commitment for the team and nothing said about the coach who knows the situation, schedules the team for a showcase and then continues to press the player. There are showcases all over the place. I'm attending one this weekend. I'm attending one next weekend. They are all over. If he wanted to attend a showcase, he had his pick. Also, lets take this to the extreme. What about this young ladies commitment to her school work and attendance in school? Most of the showcases I know of start on Friday. So, these families fly out on a Thursday. These kids miss two days of school and most will play 2 or 3 showcases. So, parents shouldn't have any say and just tell their dds to show up. Heck with the grades. Per my child, she took AP courses. Miss a day in one of those classes and you may never catch up.

 

[Easton33]

Everyone speaks about what they "give up". Wrong attitude IMO, think about what you gain. If your gain is constantly less than what you deem your "sacrifices" are, then stop committing to that coach, that team, or the sport. So from what I read thus far, almost everyone is ok with a player leaving here team with only 9 to play a showcase? All of you need to remember this if or when this scenario happens to you and you are one of the 8 or 9 that wants to play.

 

[29dad]

During fall, 4 days a week school ball, 2 days pitching practice, and weekend tournaments. My dd commits as much time to softball as anyone but I guess the difference is I explain what each commitment entails and she makes the decision to do it. As an adult, when she feels like wavering from her commitment that she made I am there not to encourage her to break that commitment but live up to it. Just because something better comes along or you have spent x amount of time at the field, that does not change the definition or expectation of the word commitment. Team is about not putting the needs or wants of the individual ahead of the team. If you are still unsure of the meaning of the word, use the dictionary. If your actions are contrary to that definition, then you are not meeting your obligations. No matter how much you played last summer, this fall, or how often you practice, the meaning of commitment doesn't change. The parallel was drawn to baseball, Amy is right. No one ever misses a baseball game for any reason or a football game. (Injuries excluded) Why is acceptable for female athletes to miss games that male athletes would attend under same circumstances?

That's about the single silliest thing I've ever read on DFP. So by your definition, once you commit to a softball team, you give up everything else?? What if you play a different sport in the Fall? Or is that not allowed in your world? I suppose all weddings, dances and other major events are out if the coach happened to schedule a tournament that weekend, right?? You act as if she decided to skip a tournament at the last minute because she wanted to go to a sleepover instead. This is a Homecoming dance, and she gave ample notice. The coach had plenty of time to find a pickup player. Finding a pickup player for a college showcase is about the easiest thing in the world.

Drawing a comparison to football is ridiculous. Football season is, what, two months?? Are softball players not allowed to have an off season?? Not allowed to have a life outside of softball? And by the way, my 13 year old boy plays travel baseball and at least one kid on the team was missing every tournament. At least one, sometimes more. And that was during the summer season!!!!!

IM - tell your DD to have a great time. If the coach calls, tell him/her that the matter was settled two months ago. Amy and Easton are in the extreme minority on this one.

 

[JAD]

Teams in the older age groups typically carry 1-2 more players because "life" starts to get in the way of softball......

 

[SoftSocDad]

I thought homecoming was for old people?

 

[Easton33]

That's about the single silliest thing I've ever read on DFP. So by your definition, once you commit to a softball team, you give up everything else?? What if you play a different sport in the Fall? Or is that not allowed in your world? I suppose all weddings, dances and other major events are out if the coach happened to schedule a tournament that weekend, right?? You act as if she decided to skip a tournament at the last minute because she wanted to go to a sleepover instead. This is a Homecoming dance, and she gave ample notice. The coach had plenty of time to find a pickup player. Finding a pickup player for a college showcase is about the easiest thing in the world.

Drawing a comparison to football is ridiculous. Football season is, what, two months?? Are softball players not allowed to have an off season?? Not allowed to have a life outside of softball? And by the way, my 13 year old boy plays travel baseball and at least one kid on the team was missing every tournament. At least one, sometimes more. And that was during the summer season!!!!!

IM - tell your DD to have a great time. If the coach calls, tell him/her that the matter was settled two months ago. Amy and Easton are in the extreme minority on this one.

Single silliest rebuttal I have read period.
You make a commitment start of fall, start of spring, and you should know if you can live up to it or not. Of course they can have life outside of softball and play other sports. Dd is playing basketball now, I had to find a good team that was ok with this and who's practice schedule was something we could do. You choose your team based on your ability to meet their schedule and then commit. Want a team that plays only 1 a month in the fall and that fits your schedule, commit to them. Want to play 3 to 4 a month then find one and commit. Don't commit to a "hard core" team and then skip because something else came up or a 1 a month team. Discuss before season with dd and find a team that fits that you can work around instead of trying to make a team work around your schedule.

Football lasts about as long as fall TB and longer than school ball.

A dance, is not a major event. Prom is but not homecoming.

 

[Cannonball]

So, Easton, in your opinion, the coach has no culpability in this case. Coaches are like Gods they make decisions and you go along.

 

[29dad]

Discuss before season with dd and find a team that fits that you can work around instead of trying to make a team work around your schedule.

You seem to forget that she DID discuss this with her coach two months ago. He was fine with it. Now he's not. That's his problem, not hers.

We agree to disagree. Vehemently. I suppose that means that I don't truly understand the meaning of the word "commitment." And since my wife completely agrees with me, she doesn't either. Guess our marriage is a sham...