Is this any of the coach's business?

Orange Socks · Jul 31, 2018

Back in the 14U days I wish our coach talked to the players before tryouts to get an indication of what they were thinking as far as coming back or not. After the two days of tryouts I am wondering where the heck did our team go!!! We lost 5 girls. When I saw that they were looking at a 12U pitcher, it was time to look for another team. Once we left it disintegrated.

Rick M · Jul 31, 2018

CoachKevin said:
OK let me ask you, do you tell the coaches you are just there for a workout and are not interested in their team? I'm going out on a limb and saying you don't correct. You can try and spin it anyway you want, but the bottom line the only people getting anything out of it is you and your DD. Why waste that team's time, the coaches time, the other players that may be interested in joining that team's time?

No, you're absolutely right, I don't preface the tryout by telling the coach that we're not really interested. I'm just surprised to hear your perspective, that's why I asked if I've really been being a jerk. As I said, I've been on the coach's side of the tryout, and I was happy when kids showed up. And I fail to see how having another player to warm up with, make throws and take catches, run the bases and take cuts is wasting anyone's time. I'm not trying to spin it, again just surprised by your reaction and hopeful that other coaches didn't see DD as some kind of leech. In a perfect world, she made a good impression and they may ask her guest play or tryout for the next level in the future.

Sorry for the thread hijack, maybe there should be a "Tryout Etiquette" thread to stop out-of-control parents like myself.

OK04dad · Jul 31, 2018

Ah, tryout season (a.k.a. The Dance) - where the next team is always going to be better than the one you're on. Or the new player is going to be far better than the one you're replacing. Parents looking for the next '27 Yankees team frustrated me as an AC. As a parent I've seen coaches look past budding players for that great hitter that's going to all of the sudden make their team unbeatable. Where I'm at, softball is not such a big world and burning bridges is not a great option. Being honest should be the best policy but both sides seem to harbor their own secrets. I told a friend of mine the other day that our softball world keeps getting more interesting each day because of the team changes that continue to occur.

GunnerShotgun · Jul 31, 2018

Rick M said:
Sorry for the thread hijack, maybe there should be a "Tryout Etiquette" thread to stop out-of-control parents like myself.

I wouldn't say you were out of control but as a coach I don't appreciate it. You are wasting my time and the time of my coaching staff that is fully focused on fielding a team for the upcoming season.

Having said all that if you approached me BEFORE the tryout started and introduced yourself and stated you were just there for a workout it wouldn't be a problem.

CoachKevin · Jul 31, 2018

Rick M said:
No, you're absolutely right, I don't preface the tryout by telling the coach that we're not really interested. I'm just surprised to hear your perspective, that's why I asked if I've really been being a jerk. As I said, I've been on the coach's side of the tryout, and I was happy when kids showed up. And I fail to see how having another player to warm up with, make throws and take catches, run the bases and take cuts is wasting anyone's time. I'm not trying to spin it, again just surprised by your reaction and hopeful that other coaches didn't see DD as some kind of leech. In a perfect world, she made a good impression and they may ask her guest play or tryout for the next level in the future.

Sorry for the thread hijack, maybe there should be a "Tryout Etiquette" thread to stop out-of-control parents like myself.

I get it believe me, and it may just be me as a coach, but let's say 15 kids show up for a tryout. 5 of them are just there to get ready for another's team tryout. You can't see that those 5 are really wasting the time it takes to conduct a tryout? If those 5 didn't come, the coach could spend more time with the 10 that are actually interested. You have limited time during a tryout to see if a player may be a good fit for the team. With our tryouts we try to stick to a timeline to get everything in we think we need to see. This isn't counting getting to the field an hour early preparing it, getting the forms ready, getting the cooler ready...etc

Honestly, I have never held a tryout where there was zero kids there so I couldn't answer that one. I don't think your "out of control", I don't believe you have really thought about it though. You may be 1 player not interested in the team... but how many others that are there are also doing the same thing? So yes I believe it is a waste of my time.

GoRight · Jul 31, 2018

Kinda on topic....What if you’re kid is a solid B player trying to break on to an A level National team. What if she verbally commits to the B team. Is it poor tryout etiquette to still attend that National level team tryout? I’m thinking it is, even if your daughter is just trying to make a jump up in level.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Rick M · Jul 31, 2018

CoachKevin said:
Honestly, I have never held a tryout where there was zero kids there so I couldn't answer that one. I don't think your "out of control", I don't believe you have really thought about it though. You may be 1 player not interested in the team... but how many others that are there are also doing the same thing? So yes I believe it is a waste of my time.

There must be some geographic differences at play here also. I've never seen a tryout with 15 kids here in eastern PA, but I've been to quite a few where the only players attending were already on the team. This time of year, teams are breaking up all over because they can't replace the two girls who left.

So getting back to the original post, I do understand when a coach asks before tryout season begins about player's intentions. They do need to know what they're looking for before diving in to the trials of tryouts.

Thanks CoachKevin and GunnerShotgun for your takes.

_MIA_ · Jul 31, 2018

Lobster Birch said:
Got an email from my DD's coach from last season the day before tryouts part of which read as follows:

"I am asking any family who is weighing other team options to contact me before our tryout tomorrow. As I work to establish a roster of twelve (12) it will be important to know who is evaluating other organizations as well. I do not take this position or responsibility lightly and want to do everything I can to make sure that the players who are selected are all in and not looking at or wishing that they were on a different team or questioning the situation. That does not bring success for the team or families. I will work hard for this team and believe it is important to have that effort reciprocated."

While I certainly understand his desire to know who is looking elsewhere is it really any of his business? Is it out of line for him to ask?

Is he making existing players tryout as well?

CMMom1740 · Jul 31, 2018

CoachKevin said:
I get it believe me, and it may just be me as a coach, but let's say 15 kids show up for a tryout. 5 of them are just there to get ready for another's team tryout. You can't see that those 5 are really wasting the time it takes to conduct a tryout? If those 5 didn't come, the coach could spend more time with the 10 that are actually interested. You have limited time during a tryout to see if a player may be a good fit for the team. With our tryouts we try to stick to a timeline to get everything in we think we need to see. This isn't counting getting to the field an hour early preparing it, getting the forms ready, getting the cooler ready...etc

Honestly, I have never held a tryout where there was zero kids there so I couldn't answer that one. I don't think your "out of control", I don't believe you have really thought about it though. You may be 1 player not interested in the team... but how many others that are there are also doing the same thing? So yes I believe it is a waste of my time.

Yes, and if I was a parent of one of those girls who was really there to try out for that team, I would be very irritated to have girls there who weren't. They're taking the coaches' attention away from those are there to try out. These tryouts are often such a cattle call that every second of a coach's attention is precious. My DD might only get 8 swings of the bat vs. 15 if all these extra girls are there. That could make a very big difference in her overall performance at the tryout and whether she gets an offer. Just being honest, if your DD needs a workout, get some girls together and do it "friendly" style. Don't muck up the works at a tryout. Signed, mom of a DD doing about 1001 tryouts this year and is really sick of the whole damn process.

Elk Grove Hurricane · Jul 31, 2018

CoachKevin said:
Well honestly, if a player accepted the offer why go to other tryouts? We have had many players that we offered told us they had other tryouts they wanted to attend, some came to us some didn't but they didn't accept the offer the first time. I don't know if I would tell the player they couldn't attend other tryouts though.... A good way to lose them in the end.

The issue wasn't whether they accepted, it is demanding an immediate acceptance before you left the field. I find that approach distasteful, give the family a chance to talk in private and make sure this is what they want. In our family, neither my wife nor I commit to any financial decision without at least consulting the other, and I frankly don't know what a team's dues will be before a tryout, even if a friend tells me what they were last season I want to hear it from the coach before I consider it offiical.
I personally have always ended tryout season when we accept an offer, but there are some who may not know about an opening when they accepted, and legitimately think after accepting that they should at least look at the new opening. It isn't my style, but it isn't for me to judge others either.

Is this any of the coach's business?

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