This is the "right" way? Who decides?

[riseball]

I don't know about you but I am off enjoying my vacation from HS ball and I could care less what players are doing. And I don't want to coach 8-9 months out of the year for free. Or be an obsessed parent. It was a joy to watch my boys play ball and not give a crap except that their ability to be more as a team than the pieces impressed me more than statistics. If my player invites me to a TB game, same thing, but I do laugh a lot to myself. I'd rather write their recommendation letters and write about how they will be in life, not on the field.

I know one TB coach in particular is making baseball players out of my softball players with his cues (two hands, etc.), I think, but I am confident in my teaching, my assistants, and the players that we will get what the best out of our players every year. They are not statues or robots and have their own ideas.

Ultimately, they are only on my team for 2-3 years, most of them, and to get that invested in their entire lives (oh did I say 4 years of it while their still kids...) is silly. It all goes by and the minutiae will be forgotten.

So like many HS coaches you are there for the stipend check. Interesting.

 

[sluggers]

Riseball is not really interested in the $100,000 to $200,000 of scholarship money for his DD. Like me, he was doing it solely "for the girls".

 

[Greenmonsters]

Actually, its pretty simple in my mind. Whether you are a rec, TB, HS, NCAA, NFP, MLB coach or player, it doesn't matter. It's the "right way" if you can provide a clear and rationale explanation why it is right, can do the same for all the other ways, and can point to the most successful players at the highest levels doing it the "right" way as examples. If you can't do that, then its just a matter of style preference IMO.

 

[JJsqueeze]

I don't know if it is because anyone stunk, but coaching is addictive to a certain type of person. I have often thought that after my girls are done I will want to coach other kids. It is not because I stunk, or need to imbue the girls with the right way of doing things, it is just that I like coaching, if I am fortunate to have enough free time when I am at that stage then coaching is what I will probably choose to do as a hobby. I can think of worse ways for an empty nester to spend their time than to share some of the things they have learned being a softball dad for a long period of time. In many ways I have found coaching other kids much more rewarding than teaching my own. They do not HAVE to listen to me because I am their father, I do not have the amount of time with them that I have with my DDs, to teach them you have to be far more creative and efficient. But I take great pride when I see any kid I've coached do well. I decided in the spring to not coach any more so that I can work on skill specific stuff with my girls. Part of this was to give them the individual attention they do not get in team workouts while still giving us the enjoyment of playing together. And part of it was to let them fly on their own and learn how to be coached by someone other than dad. I do think that too many coaches start teams to control their daughter's experience and make sure everything is just right, when they are better served in learning to deal when things when they are just a kid on a team. But at the same time, without parents coaching teams there would not be that many teams.

 

[Doug Romrell]

An interesting point in my story is that both the HS coach and I got into coaching because we had daughters who wanted to play softball. He has four daughters doing it. I currently have one and my older daughter played a few years back. Two of the three HS coaches in this immediate area have daughters on the HS team. All of the TB coaches in this immediate area have daughters on their teams. Around here, I would hate to think of what the state of softball would be if fathers and/or mothers didn't step up to the plate, so to speak.

 

[riseball]

Riseball is not really interested in the $100,000 to $200,000 of scholarship money for his DD. Like me, he was doing it solely "for the girls".

True the benefit of the scholarship is nice extra and she certainly earned it. But, you raise a valid point that if someone is involved with softball for the pursuit of a scholarship or financial compensation their time is much better spent elsewhere. If you are not doing it "solely for the girls" I would question your motivation and/or smarts.

 

[softball88]

I coached my oldest for 3 yrs but the last 5 yrs she was coached by someone else, I help out. I seldom heard right way or wrong way by coaches. I hear it more from parents about the coaches.

Last yr was her freshman yr of high school. She played varsity. It was a long hs season. After a game my dd asked me about a specific play. Did the coach teach them wrong? I said no, I wouldn't have run my bunt defense that way, your tb coach wouldn't either but he wasn't wrong just his beliefs. She asked "why did all the parents get mad and start saying he was wrong?" Because it didn't work. Next game coach didn't change the defense just personal...they made the out. I pointed it out to her...i still wouldn't run my defense that way but...it can work... just his beliefs.

 

[FP26]

I don't know if it is because anyone stunk, but coaching is addictive to a certain type of person. I have often thought that after my girls are done I will want to coach other kids. It is not because I stunk, or need to imbue the girls with the right way of doing things, it is just that I like coaching, if I am fortunate to have enough free time when I am at that stage then coaching is what I will probably choose to do as a hobby. I can think of worse ways for an empty nester to spend their time than to share some of the things they have learned being a softball dad for a long period of time. In many ways I have found coaching other kids much more rewarding than teaching my own. They do not HAVE to listen to me because I am their father, I do not have the amount of time with them that I have with my DDs, to teach them you have to be far more creative and efficient. But I take great pride when I see any kid I've coached do well. I decided in the spring to not coach any more so that I can work on skill specific stuff with my girls. Part of this was to give them the individual attention they do not get in team workouts while still giving us the enjoyment of playing together. And part of it was to let them fly on their own and learn how to be coached by someone other than dad. I do think that too many coaches start teams to control their daughter's experience and make sure everything is just right, when they are better served in learning to deal when things when they are just a kid on a team. But at the same time, without parents coaching teams there would not be that many teams.

Well said JJ. I agree. I coach partially because DD plays, but I could just as easily work with her in private and allow someone else to coach the team. We have several parents that are willing. In fact when DD joined the team she is currently on, I was not planning to be one of the coaches. I was going to help at practice and help some of the girls with hitting. Before long several of the players asked me to be one of the coaches (players I had coached before). That was a great feeling and I couldn't say no. If the players want me to help them, how could I say no?

I feel coaching has many similarities with teaching. How many teachers do it just for the paycheck? How many do it because they enjoy the process? I'm not sure I want to know the answer to those questions, but I sincerely hope a strong percentage of teachers do it because they enjoy working with the students. I have to imagine their careers at least started that way...

 

[Doug Romrell]

Personally, I have no problem with those who coach to earn, or help to earn, a living. I think most of us try to earn a living at something we find at least partially fulfilling/enjoyable.

 

[FP26]

Personally, I have no problem with those who coach to earn, or help to earn, a living. I think most of us try to earn a living at something we find at least partially fulfilling/enjoyable.

I agree with that too. Not much better than getting paid for something you enjoy. But on the other hand, if you are coaching simply to get a check, I'm not so sure.