Winning worth jerk coach

[SamG]

Is winning worth putting up with a jerk as a coach? My daughter's rec league (at least her age group) is all but dominated by a coach who I consider a "jerk". I have seen him at games put his players (including his daughter) in tears... while they're on the field. He does it by criticizing them from the dugout. This is my DD's 2nd year at 10U, and while I still think this is an age group you need to build girls up (hustling, trying to make a play even if a throw is off, etc), he apparently sees things differently. I've got to admit he wins games (undefeated this year). Most of his team has been together for years. Why do parents put with him though? Is winning that important?

He has had a couple girls leave his team, and what I've heard is if a parent complains, he'll take it out on the girls (lack of playing time, etc).

So why do parents put up with it?

 

[Amy in AZ.]

I don't know why parent's put up with it.

You would be better off to pull your DD and spend one on one time with her.

I didn't have to be afraid of anyone, as long as my dad was around. He would have put a stop to any adult male yelling at me.

What message is it sending to little girls?

 

[SamG]

Oh, fortunately my daughter's not on his team, but of course we ran into him a lot (the rec league has two travel teams... the "jerk" coach has one, and my daughter is on the other... so we watch some of their games). Just curious what goes through the mind of other parents.

 

[CoachKevin]

10U should all be about player development... Now I have been known to talk smack to my players, but they either roll their eyes or laugh... never cry!!

DD attempting to bunt to move the runner over, can't do it and eventually walks. ME coaching 1st, "You really suck at bunting ya know". Even had the 1B laughing at that one.

Or my favorite one....

coaching 3rd base, give the signal to fake bunt and slap, DD looks at me confused. I call time and and ask her, "Are you stupid or is your helmet just too tight?" She responds with, "Whatever Dad.... what's the sign?" Finishes with hitting a single past the charging 3B.

Of course that is with my DD, but I have said things like, "Dude, that was one ugly swing" to other players as well.

I think you need to keep it light, especially during games because they know when they make a mistake. they don't need me jawing at them to realize it.

 

[obbay]

There are always jerks and winning is not worth being on their team.

My DD was on a team where the coach was a bit of a character but wound up not being a good coach for her. I learned that it's better to play on a team where you are appreciated than to play on a winning team where you are a disposable commodity.

 

[Ken Krause]

Is winning that important?

To some people it is. Unfortunately.

 

[fivepotsogold]

winning with jerk coach

Timing for this ...

well.....just left our team yesterday with two Tourn left to play.

We won a lot ... but the negativity screaming kicking punching fences an throwing things was just too much ......

The parent were at each others throats criticizing every kid but their own ....
Coach getting golf outings and Casino dinners from some parents .... as well as a new kitchen at cost from a parent...

Coach added player last weekend (even though we had 12 healthy players) with a mediocre skill level (nice kid, but could barely reach 1st from SS) and played her over the three sitting on the bench all year who are pretty decent players. Played her w/o even putting her on roster this last weekend too.

We just decided that it would be better to go with a lesser team that get the $10 pieces of plastic that never left the kitchen counter once we got them home.
Already been asked to join two teams .. invited to another Tourn this summer ...
So doors are open and she will play softball ...at 12U that is enough for her!

NO other parent there is willing to "complain" or pull their kid ..... pretty sad.

 

[llabtfos]

5 pots that is really sad

i am the asst. coach for a travel team in turmoil (as i stated in another thread i am also the head coach of a league team) - all because our head coach of the travel team doesn't understand you just can't berate players (we're also talking 12 U) just because of an error or two

im fed up with his act too, PLUS, i found out he was making digs at me behind my back recently....i could coach him under the table any day of the week, no problem.

i commend you for pulling your kid out of a bad situation, best of luck.

 

[fivepotsogold]

bad coach

Team On their way up to New Hampshire for MVP bash....
had another player at practice last night ...
this will make two new kids since July 16th wonder if either will be on roster as the first one wasn't and they played her last weekend anyway....

Coach asked a parent to call me and ask to borrow my DD's uniform for the new player ....


Very hurtful bunch and I'm glad we walked.

A group of parents (4 players) spent a lot of time criticizing some/most of the other players .... new parent overheard ... coach sends out scathing note about how unacceptable this is and he will cut parent and kid .... but these are the parent he goes out with at night .... really bad situation.

It was a real struggle to make that decision to leave ...
teach her to stick to the end ... but also in life you have to walk away from an unhealthy situation .....

The team is acually good enough to win like they have been w/o the mean approach, without the new players, with giving some players more time so they get stronger.
Too bad it had to go so negative.....

There is a bright side ....we have several other options and my DD is looking forward not back....ready to work on mechanics to get better ....
She seems so much happier this week.
It was our first year and we certainly got our eyes opened! LOL.

 

[ThatGuy2120]

The original post - No disrespect to rec league coaches but nobody cares if a rec league team is undefeated. Any and I mean any travel 10u team would probably destroy any team he put together. If he thought he had talent as a coach I wonder why he hasnt gone to coach travel. Rec league is for fun and should be left that way. Coaches in rec are to promote the game and keep it light and fun. I know and respect alot of rec coaches but there is a clear separation between competitive travel ball and rec.