My DD is 11 playing on a 12U team. We have been with the same team for almost 3 years (beginning of 10U to now). The team is mostly all 09 players but over the winter we picked up a few 08's. We are happy with our team and had no plans to leave. The 08 players have brought a lot to the team and we have had some success lately but nothing extraordinary. The coach is now saying that the team is moving up to 14U in August. His reasons being he doesn't want to lose the 08 players who have to move up and the 09s will be playing middle school ball in the spring anyway so it gets them more prepared. Our family has made the decision to not move up. We don't believe DD is ready for 14U and we want her to have her second year of 12U. I don't want to wait until the last minute to tell the coach we are not moving up but I also don't want to cause any friction while we finish out the spring/summer with the team. When is the best time to address this with the coach?
When to tell the coach we are leaving?
- Thread starter puddyfan
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As a coach, I ask for each family to finish out season. After the last game, ask for meeting or phone call with coach to let them know you are staying down.
Top_Notch
Screwball
- Dec 18, 2014
- 522
- 63
When my daughter left her first team (11U) it was after the last game at Nationals. We mentioned, since she had fulfilled her commitment to her team, that she was subbing the next day for another team at their nationals, so the writing was on the wall.
The second time at 14U, coach knew we were waffling on leaving and we weren't exactly sure where DD would go, but it was pretty clear we weren't coming back. But all of this came out before the end of the season and it was not a positive experience. So, I'd hold your cards close to the vest, then let the cat out of the bag as soon as possible after the year completes. You don't want to hose the team for the following year by giving late notice. The extenuating circumstance is that good teams are organized well before the end of the current season through private tryouts. To summarize, "Private tryout" is a misnomer, because people talk.
The second time at 14U, coach knew we were waffling on leaving and we weren't exactly sure where DD would go, but it was pretty clear we weren't coming back. But all of this came out before the end of the season and it was not a positive experience. So, I'd hold your cards close to the vest, then let the cat out of the bag as soon as possible after the year completes. You don't want to hose the team for the following year by giving late notice. The extenuating circumstance is that good teams are organized well before the end of the current season through private tryouts. To summarize, "Private tryout" is a misnomer, because people talk.
tell them the day after the last team function (Dd has been on teams that had a picnic after the season).
and dont worry about blindsiding coach, if he is not suspecting that not all his 09s will return, then he is naive, and this will help him to learn as well.
we are in similar situation, HC has declared that team will be moving to 16s in fall, mix of 07s and 06s, DD will most likely stay with the team though, she has finally had her growth spurt. if she hadnt, might be different.
and dont worry about blindsiding coach, if he is not suspecting that not all his 09s will return, then he is naive, and this will help him to learn as well.
we are in similar situation, HC has declared that team will be moving to 16s in fall, mix of 07s and 06s, DD will most likely stay with the team though, she has finally had her growth spurt. if she hadnt, might be different.
Schmick's Gloves
Banned
- Nov 8, 2020
- 402
- 43
Leave as soon as you make the decision that you're going to leave.
When I have employees try to give me a 2 week notice, I always tell them to "go now"
1 foot out the door is not "buying in" and unless you've bought in you're no good to the team
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When I have employees try to give me a 2 week notice, I always tell them to "go now"
1 foot out the door is not "buying in" and unless you've bought in you're no good to the team
Sent from my SM-N975U using Tapatalk
After the last game. It's perfectly reasonable to wait until you finish your schedule and fulfill your commitment for this season. Any sooner can cause unnecessary friction, and a coach can't really expect a player to commit before the current season ends. Don't give a long explanation. Just let them know you appreciate the opportunity and plan to try something different next season.
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